Big Leaf

Volume 7 babyyy let’s go!

(But CW: sexual assault. I do include some quotes related to the assault here since I was recording my thoughts on it at the time.)

First of all, how gorgeous is this cover art?! They looks so good. This might be my favorite cover so far.

“Even now, twenty years later, I still haven’t found my ‘rightful place’” (6). Okay so we going Richard introspection hours. Love it!

“Prologue”

* Blogger!Seigi omg.

* I guess “Iggy” is pretty close in pronunciation to “Seigi” but it seems wild to call him that lol. Also, who is reading this blog???

* Lotus is Seigi’s favorite flower. Got it.

* I wish the blog posts had a different format or typeface than the main text. That would be really fun and easier to distinguish.

* For fuck’s sake, just call him!

* For real though, it is really easy to sympathize with Seigi’s doubts right now. Being in such a foreign place, just waiting around for things to happen. That would make anyone anxious and doubtful of their choice. “When you had too much time on your hands, your anxieties loomed bigger, like shadow puppets hit by the light” (23). Fr fr.

* Jeffrey is ultra-dramatic and mysterious as usual. This is going to be quite an experience.

“Day 1”

* It’s so wild to me that Seigi thinks Richard would tell him to quit his internship if he’s not settling in well. That’s not how I see Richard at all. Shouldn’t Seigi know that Richard would tell him a long story with a message about perseverance, likely with illusions to Richard’s own life that would fly right over Seigi’s head? Because that’s pretty clearly the standard. As always, Seigi is way too in his head.

* Ah, so the mentorship wasn’t supposed to be like this after all. It’s really cute to see Richard getting so indignant and protective of Seigi like this.

* The rapid shift in Richard’s tone once he thinks Seigi is distracted/being disingenuous gave me fucking whiplash.

* NOT Seigi blocking Richard from view of the staff guy who’s giving interested glances at him. 🫢

* Bro this is crazy. Who is this mysterious other British man? What’s his past with Richard? It’s so bad that Richard is drinking alcohol?? Living for the drama.

“Day 2”

* Richard wearing sunglasses inside? Uh oh, he got fucked up last night.

* Seigi once again defending Richard from the male cruise staff. At least Richard seemed to appreciate it.

* “Richard chuckled when he saw the fraught look on my face. I always thought he sounded a bit like a pigeon when he laughed like that” (77). Wtf why is that adorable?

* Ooh a rare Richard swear!

* Okay so whatever Richard doesn’t want Seigi to see at the jewelry showcase has to do with the darker sides of the world of gemstones. What have you gotten yourself into, Richard?

* I actually feel physically ill. Now it’s very clear why Richard didn’t want Seigi to be here. I didn’t think the “dark” aspects were going to hit quite so close to home. Seigi is focusing only on Karlsbrook because he’s filled with rage, but I really need to get a check in Richard rn please. OKAY SHIT, Richard keeps brushing Karlsbrook’s arm off his waist but he is not getting the hint. What a CREEP.

* This is genuinely so hard to read. I am right there with Seigi, struggling to restrain myself from doing something rash to (metaphorically) destroy this man. And there are so many bystanders doing nothing. God, this is painful.

* “‘I love beautiful things. I want beautiful things. I don’t want anything but beautiful things. And in that respect, nothing could be more desirable to a collector like myself than you’” (98). I’m going to fucking throw up. This is explaining so much about Richard’s trauma around compliments of his beauty. This blatant objectification is vile.

* What the fuck is this Karlsbrook guy’s deal? He clearly would have harassed Richard even if Seigi wasn’t there, but he seemed to do it more gleefully because it was in front of Seigi. What does he know about Seigi and Richard’s relationship? He marveled at the fact that Seigi actually showed up earlier. How did he know that there was a possibility he would? And how does he even know who Seigi is in the first place? This is so fucked up!

* And they’re distantly related?! Bro…

* Okay so if Jeffrey didn’t send Seigi those emails, it was definitely Karlsbrook. Why does he want Seigi there so badly?

* Anddd now he’s being framed for stealing a priceless ring. Okie dokie then.

* “Kindly uncle” is not the vibe I’m getting, my guy. “Stupid, elderly baby doll” is a much more apt description.

* Vince is a great character. He just seems like a nice, chill dude you’d want to hang out with. And I love when a character’s appearance doesn’t match their personality. It gets me every time.

* After Vince goes on a lecture about anime and manga figure 3D modeling: “I cautiously asked Vince if he liked anime and manga, and he politely ignored me. Got it” (151). This guy. What a kuudere.

* This story was just tough. Looking forward to the conclusion tomorrow.

“Day 3”

* Ooh, detective Seigi!

* I’m loving Seigi’s absolute audacity in this one.

* Seigi is so adhd-coded.

* “‘…What happened with that creep?’ ‘Just shut up for a bit.’ ‘Okay’” (190). I love their rapport. 😂

* Richard showing up looking gorgeous to kick ass at poker while subtly roasting the VP is so !! He’s truly serving here.

* “The man presenting his merciless flush of hearts had such a beautiful yet indifferent look in his eyes as he stared intently at the man across from him. ‘Shall we continue?’ (193). So cunty!

* “Richard always had fire in his eyes when he got angry. The melanin in his irises gave their blue a sort of undulating wave pattern, and when I looked at him, I got goosebumps. It made me feel like I’d laid eyes on something no mortal should ever see” (193-194). Seigi is in so deep, bro.

* “‘Thank you, Ricky. Not even Raphael’s Madonna is a match for the beauty of your fingers manipulating those cards. I wish you would use those fingers to toy with me.’ ‘My apologies, I’ve been suffering from some temporary hearing loss and did not catch what you just said.’ After replying with the most refined ‘Like hell I will,’ in history, Richard stepped back and left the two men at the table” (199). 🤮🤮🤮 Karlsbrook is literally a mustache-twirling villain, this is crazy. Great clapback though, Richard. Also, is anybody else so uncomfortable when people call Richard “Ricky?” It feels infantalizing and like such a violation of the image Richard wants to present himself as.

* I just looked up what happened to the Colonel Sanders statue in Dotonbori. Wow… Seigi is not fucking around.

* Why are Vince and Richard having slightly hostile banter right now?? This is hilarious but I feel like I missed something behind the scenes.

* VINCE WAS HIS ASSISTANT????? This is blowing my mind omg.

* AND IT WAS VINCE IN THE BAR THAT FIRST NIGHT??? Wild. Can’t believe Seigi suspected that from hearing his purposefully bad english. Seigi actually is a good detective, and he’s more observant than I give him credit for. How rude to hold out on the readers like that though!

* “‘That was the first time I’d ever felt that strongly that I wasn’t needed somewhere… I’ve never felt such heartache like the moment I realized that I could offer nothing of value to this person who was such a huge presence in my life’” (231). Ouchies. Boy, do I know that feeling. Poor Vince. It’s unfortunate that Vince felt his relationship with Richard was so one-sided. I hope he won’t always be bitter about their relationship. Even if he had said something to Richard back then, I think Richard would have gotten very closed off and defensive, since they didn’t have a super close personal relationship. They’ve both improved in their communication skills since then. And it seems like things are going quite well for Vince now. I wish that funky little guy the best, and I hope he and Seigi end up staying in touch.

* “The beautiful man threw off his jacket about 30 percent more aggressively than normal, rolled up his sleeves, and stood in front of the punching bag. He gave it a fierce one-two punch. Sometimes, humans just get the urge to suddenly practice boxing, and this seemed to be one such time for Richard” (245). I love that we’re getting to see Richard like this. Seigi clearly has seen Richard be more casual around him since he knows how Richard normally takes off his jacket, but I doubt Richard has let Seigi see this side of him before. And I also really relate to getting the urge to “suddenly practice boxing.”

* And then he just leaves looking disheveled?! Bruh. At least stick around to cool off first. 😏

* Thank god the rest of the cruise was peaceful. I’m glad Seigi and Richard got to just hang out after all that drama.

* Ewww Seigi had to endure a hug from Karlsbrook. But I’m so glad that creep got exposed. Hopefully Gargantua actually does good after the investigation into their culture of sexual misconduct.

“Epilogue”

* “But as you might expect if a food for celebrations, it opened with ‘twenty-five eggs,’ so I think I’ll try scaling it down” (251). I just love cute little comments Seigi makes like this. Also very relatable to anybody who follows Pinterest recipes. Who needs to make that much food??

* Richard reads about “unfamiliar grammatical constructions” for fun. This man…

* “There were words that I wanted to say in Japanese and others that felt easier to express in English, but they were both becoming mine. For example, this was something that I wanted to say in Engish. I wish you were here. I wish you were here to eat the food I made. I don’t know if you’ll like it, but I’d be happy if you have it a try. And if I say something ridiculous again, I wouldn’t mind if you got frustrated and scolded me” (263). 😌😌😌 But for real, can we talk about the romance of wanting to tell someone you miss them in their native language?

* Richard being so giddy that he pulled off this prank of showing up unannounced is adorable.

* Seigi’s idea of heaven is sitting in a beautiful garden drinking royal milk tea and eating delicious snacks while talking to Richard. 😌😌😌

* Okayyy and right back into the drama. I guess we’re going to have a teenage girl nemesis now. Not at all what I was expecting. But as always, I’m excited to learn more about Richard’s past!

Although this volume had many tough moments, we actually got a lot of smiley Richard. He seems a lot more comfortable around Seigi than even at the end of the last volume. I’m really looking forward to seeing how their relationship progresses from here. Especially if they’re staying in Sri Lanka together like was suggested at the end of Vol 6!

Finally got to read Volume 6! I didn’t think anything could top Volume 4, but this one is a very close contender for my favorite. Here are my unedited thoughts:

“Sinhalite Beckons, Part 1”

* An extra case first??? Okay then.

* Who is this female version of Seigi? This is hilarious, they’re way too similar!

* Very curious where in the timeline this story takes place…

“The Wandering Conch Pearl”

* WAIT WTF?? That was Seigi’s dream? Did he dream of himself as a woman interacting with Richard in Sri Lanka??????

* Not the milkman omgggg.

* Oooh Richard’s assistant in Hong Kong. That’s probably the sleezy guy he was talking about in the last story. Can Seigi see into other peoples’ pasts now? Didn’t know there was going to be a supernatural element lol.

* “I couldn’t decide if I should serve tea or not, so my brain cells had a meeting and came to the unanimous conclusion not to” (34). I love Seigi so much. 😂

* “I couldn’t stop smiling. Richard thanked me. He said he thought I was dependable. His smile was beautiful enough to start, but boy, a direct hit from his charm sure packed a punch. I was glad he’s withdrawn to the back room, because I was pretty sure my face wasn’t going to go back to normal for a while” (42). Oh, honey… 😌

* Wow, I did not think I would be learning so much about post-WWII politics between Japan and the Dominican Republic from this series, but here we are.

* This conversation between Richard and Seigi from page 62-67 is all over the place. Richard shutting Seigi down when he invites Richard over, but obviously still wanting to let Seigi in. And he ends up asking Seigi to dinner even though he just made the argument that Seigi should go home and go to bed early. And then he gets frustrated that Seigi is being so amenable to going out to dinner with him?? Bro, get your emotions together! You of all people should know that Seigi is not a mind reader. Let him know how you feel, for fuck’s sake!

* “To me, Richard’s beauty was like Mount Fuji at sunrise or the windswept sand dunes in a desert. Anyone else’s beauty was…very human. When I looked at Richard, I felt a mysterious calm, like if I were looking at a lake or the sky or the sea. Normal human features weren’t even in the same category. But if I said any of that out loud, I was pretty sure I’d offend literally everyone” (67). Yes, would would offend literally everyone. You’re learning, Seigi!

* “To have someone look upon the grain of truth hidden within the most tender part of yourself, and tell you their unvarnished opinion of it—I thought that would, without question, be cause for joy” (69). Okay well then you better tell Richard how you feel about having to leave Étranger in the next story, Seigi! Expose that grain of truth!!

“Resplendent Spinel”

* Seigi is really too nice. Filling in for someone in a club where you don’t know any of the other members? Could never be me.

* Ayame describing the “insincere drivel” her boyfriend spouts at her and Seigi’s reaction is “I felt like I was about to go into cardiac arrest” (93). 😅 Is he finally gaining some self-awareness about how ostentatious his compliments of Richard are?

* Ayame: “‘And if you think that a compliment can’t cut as deeply as an insult, you’re terribly naive’” (93). Seigi: “I felt like I’d been sent flying by a body blow” (94). Seigi is really going through it…

* “‘But you are different. Your words are different. When your words brush my face, it’s like a playful wind. With your absurd vocabulary, you are expressly telling me that my appearance brings you joy. It does feel a bit peculiar at times, but perhaps I find that peculiarity oddly endearing, Seigi.’ And then he smiled. I was struck dumb for a while” (96). Holy shit… 😳

* “‘I have a hard time understanding the nature of your love for me. It’s be a great help if you could give me a rundown, as if you were briefing me for a job’” (101). I wish Richard would ask Seigi to do this. But I think Seigi needs to complete his “self assessment” first. He doesn’t even understand the nature of his own love for Richard.

* Wow, Itagaki is actually pretty mature. Good for him.

* “‘Well, I just want you to know there has been a lot of diversity in body type in the industry lately, and I would love you even if you put on a hundred kilos, so don’t overdo it’” (110). It’s really nice to see a male character so adamant that his girlfriend shouldn’t have to worry about losing weight, especially since she’s in the entertainment industry. I hope we see even more diverse body types in Japanese entertainment in the future.

* I hope we get to see this “long talk” they’re going to have in the next story.

“Paraíba Tourmaline Romance”

* Omg Tanimoto is back! And she’s finally meeting Richard!! The two of them ganging up on Seigi is so funny.

* “Once again, it was Seigi Nakata versus the allied forces of Richard and Tanimoto. Honestly, I was probably the happiest if ever been in my life, but I was also just as embarrassed” (135). This is so cute.

* “‘I agree that romance might just be a stone I don’t know yet, but it feels so removed from me—like that planet made from diamonds orbiting a distant star. Maybe I just don’t have the courage for interstellar travel’” (153). This is so ace. I’m so so glad Tanimoto decided to be true to herself and not force herself into a romantic relationship she didn’t actually want. Sometimes you don’t need to experiment. You just know yourself. I’m so proud of her!

* Wow, I really teared up seeing Richard talk about queerness and fluctuations in identity so directly. I’m so happy Tsujimura had the courage to include frank conversations about queer issues. Richard’s perspective here truly is “like a spring breeze rushing through a window that no one remembered opening” (153).

* “‘What really matters is that you never forget that while you possess the potential to change, your present self continues to become your future self… I know it’s hard to decide what choice will be best for you, if I were in your position, I would not think forcing myself into a romantic relationship would be that choice… While dying on your feet is all well and good, one wrong step might make it nothing g more than foolhardy and reckless. And perhaps in the same way, a strategic retreat isn’t running away so much as it is a change of course’” (157). Ace ally Richard is so important to me. This is why he’s my comfort character.

* “‘When Seigi told me about this place, I thought it was a shop run by a foreign man who would show his customers wonderful gemstones. I see it’s actually a shop that provides kindness and comfort to those who see themselves as Étranger’” (158). fUCK.

* I’m so glad Seigi apologized for what he said to Tanimoto at the museum. I know it’s hard for him to let go of the fact that Tanimoto doesn’t feel romantic love since he has a crush on her, but I think he’s more understanding of her feelings now, thanks to the conversation with Richard.

* Omg Seigi and Tanimoto having a mature conversation about why they wouldn’t work out romantically. So nice to see. I think Tanimoto still kind of misunderstood why Seigi wanted to ask her out before, but that’s very on brand for her lol.

* “‘I feel like having you around has made me a better person than I was before’” (173). Richard!!! 💘💘💘

* Tanimoto defending Seigi and telling Richard to never hurt him again! I love her so much!

* I love this story so much! It was great to learn more about Tanimoto’s past and see her finally interact with Richard, who was just so thoughtful here. I can’t believe he felt bad for telling her not to worry about romantic love because he thought it might hurt Seigi. That’s sweet, but I’m glad he was true to himself and what Tanimoto needed to hear in that moment. And Seigi got just a bit more mature, too. I have such intense affection for everyone in this situation. But not Seigi’s father coming to ruin the vibes at the end. 🤬🤬🤬

“The Tanzanite of Rebirth”

* Seigi’s father is such a disgusting manipulator. I always say I want to learn more about Seigi, but learning how awful this man was to him and Hiromi, and how dark Seigi’s thoughts were at that time… How dark they are now… It’s really distressing.

* The fucking tonal shift from this melancholy last dinner together to Jeffrey showing up in the hotel room is so funny. For real though, what did Seigi think would happen when he followed Richard to his room?? 👀 But it’s really concerning that Seigi felt he had no choice but to follow Richard to his room. Obviously that’s Seigi’s extremely negative headspace talking, but please have some self-respect!

* “‘Maybe you’ve forgotten, but I spent a long time stalking you within the realm of what’s legal, of course. Obviously, I’ve repented of my actions—please, God, forgive me for my trespasses. And since I’ve repented, I hope you’ll forgive me for reoffending. It’s plain for anyone to see that something’s been eating at you’” (228). JEFFREY. It’s kind of sweet that Jeffrey has been keeping an eye on Seigi, but did he have to get this intense about it? This kidnapping situation is so chaotic lol. That is his style, though.

* “‘Why do you treat me like some rock on the side of the road? What do you think I am? A doll that’s not good for anything but being on display? I’ve been on this Earth longer than you have. I possess more knowledge than you, and I have enough free time to be able to afford to spend some on you. And yet you had the audacity to try to abandon me and walk off into the darkness. It’s beyond asinine and irrational’” (230). YOU TELL HIM, RICHARD! (Not to even mention Richard told Seigi he loves him just before this rant.) But I feel like Seigi could have said this exact speech when Richard ran away to England before. They both feel that the other should rely on them more, but wouldn’t want to be a burden. After the England debacle, Richard learned that it’s okay to rely on people who love you. Now Seigi has to learn that lesson too.

* “There was a large dam inside my heart, and what it was holding back wasn’t water but sludge. And I didn’t want any of that getting on Richard. It’s the sort of thing that you let out into a drainage ditch in secret” (232-233). Oh, honey, no. First of all, Richard is a human being who loves you and can withstand hearing bad things. You’re not tainting him. He’s asking you to trust him with this. Second of all, please go to therapy…

* It’s really concerning to see how Seigi thinks of himself as having the potential for violence against people he loves. It’s really common for witnesses of domestic abuse to think that way, but it’s so clear in Seigi’s actions that he could never do that. He has such a good heart. But he’s really clouded by dark thoughts from interacting with his father. It’s not like he was thinking this when he wanted to date Tanimoto. These thoughts resurfaced very recently. Thankfully Richard has done enough self-reflection to throw his own situation in Seigi’s face to show him how ridiculous he’s being.

* “‘You don’t think of me as normal or expected. You don’t think of me as tangible, something that is always by your side. That is why I remain someone distant and unreachable to you… You never attempt to close the distance between us. And you never allow me to pay your price, the affection, you are worth’” (243-244). Wow. This reflective Richard is extremely powerful…

* “The moment I realized that he had been watching over me and accepting me for who I was on a much deeper level than I could even have imagined, I felt like I’d been tossed into the middle of the ocean—it was salty, and I struggled to breathe. I was such a loser, such a thoughtless person, a timid child crying in the dark with his knees held tightly to his chest, and yet it felt like he took it all in and said that it was fine. But it wasn’t just a feeling, he believed in me, more than I could ever believe” (247-248). Yes, Seigi, that’s what you do when you love someone. You did the same for him.

* Omg punk Jeffrey?! I wish I could see all those photos Richard keeps as blackmail. 😂

* I’m glad Richard brought up “what floor?” Seriously, Seigi not feeling able to reject him was scary. For both of them, I think.

* Seigi’s stepdad is an absolute legend! King of positive masculinity! “‘I don’t think being strong or not has anything to do with whether you’re okay’” (272). Fuck yes. Hiromi did so well marrying this man.

* “‘I don’t want an apology, I want you to reflect on your behavior. I imagine you understand this by now, but your number-one assignment at the moment is learning to value yourself more’” (274). The fact Richard is able to say this to Seigi is a reflection of his own growth as well. I’m so glad they’re in each other’s lives. They make each other better. 🥹

* Seigi trying to tell Richard he wants to keep being around him even if he doesn’t work at Étranger anymore but it keeps coming out likes he’s proposing or asking him on a date. I think his first statement was the truest to how he feels: ‘“I want to be by your side from now on, if you’ll let me’” (280). I think Richard was ready to accept that as a proposal until Seigi made a bunch of qualifying statements lol.

* Wow, this story means so much to me. Everything that came out of Richard’s mouth was something both Seigi and I (and so many other people, I’m sure) needed to hear. Their relationship got so much deeper. And I can’t wait to see what shenanigans Seigi gets up to in this hotel lol. Especially if Richard is staying there as well. Very excited for the next volume. This one had better come out on time! 😤

“Sinhalite Beckons, Part 2”

* OKAY this is wild! I swear to god the person on the motorcycle in part 1 is Richard, but it seems to be Seigi now???? And he and Richard seem to live together in this nice house in Sri Lanka???????

* Omg she’s the sister of the airport lady from “Flourite By Your Side!” 😲 Glad she’s feeling better!

* Okay so it’s been three years? And there are pictures of the shop in Ginza and their families on the coffee table?? This is so fucking domestic. Is this their future???

* It’s refreshing to see someone call Seigi attractive for once! RIP Keiko’s love life though lol.

* “‘But you know, you really surprised me. You speak textbook-perfect English, but your Japanese sounds like someone from a local convenience store.’ I told him I thought is was a very interesting gap, and he smiled bashfully. ‘He always tells me that—“At this point, the language you might be the least eloquent in might be Japanese.” It is the one language he didn’t teach me, after all’” (301). This is so funny. And it’s making more sense why I thought Seigi was actually Richard in the first part. I can’t believe Seigi speaks English with a British accent! 😂

* Lol once again somebody’s first assumption is that Seigi and Richard are a couple, and it’s still not hard to see why. Love that Keiko immediately asked Seigi out after learning they’re not together, though. You go, girl! But Seigi’s heart belongs to someone else, huh? For real, please tell me he knows it’s Richard at this point!

* I find it so interesting that Tsujimura decided to show us this glimpse of Seigi and Richard’s future. What was the purpose?? It’s a fun and cute story, but not very satisfying if you’re routing for them to get together. And it weirdly feels like an ending even though I know there are at least two more volumes after this…

“Afterward”

* This isn’t a story but I need to record my reaction to the sentence “the first part of the story has now come to a close with Volume 6—though there is still more to tell.” 😲😲😲 Okay, I didn’t realize this story was in parts! Maybe “Sinhalite Beckons” is a way to transition into this new future chapter of Seigi and Richard’s life. 🤔

* Tsujimura actually knows a jeweler who taught them how to make royal milk tea lol. That’s adorable. They do say to write why you know.

* “It would make me very happy if you would keep me company on their journey for a little while.” Tsujimura, I am with you for the long haul. 🫡 Let’s do this!