Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes

“We could all do with a few laughs. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to need them more than usual before long”

I imagine his first day back at the joke shop after the series ended would have been really hard for George Weasley. 

Oh No! It’s FINE! I didn’t NEED MY HEART OR ANYTHING!

Psssst why does George have two ears?

Oh yeah I never posted my theory about it. I feel like the missing ear thing would scare kids so he’d probably attach an extendable ear to the spot where his was missing. Then whenever a kid spoke to him he’d pull it towards them and ask them to speak up

This post is so sad and so cute and idk what to feel anymore

Found this on facebook but reposting to SAVE A LIFE.

Or at least some of y’all’s GPAs.

You’re welcome.

Holy shit? thanks op!

for comp sci, physics, math, etc p much everything is uploaded by authors to https://arXiv.org

also, use Unpaywall

(and sci-hub but I didn’t tell you this)

The last time i asked an academic to share a paper with me she sent it but like, 2 years later. I just recently got it and almost forgot i had requested it to begin with. If you guys ever need access to a paper, please ask me and ill see if i can grab it off of my library database.

let’s be honest though, millennial hate is totally a thing rich folks started because they’re pissed that we have really unpredictable consumer habits and it isn’t as easy to get us to buy into stuff, so they’re mad we aren’t just money giving/traditional economy supporting machines like they expected us to be

like look at how much millennial hate articles are things like “millennials aren’t eating cereal and it’s hurting the cereal industry” or “millennials aren’t buying houses and that’s bad” or “millennials #1 utmost priority isn’t trying to make as much money as possible” and rich folks are mad about it, so just posturing our unpredictability/nontraditional values as “laziness” gets everyone else on board the hate train in some weird attempt to collectively subdue us

“You are Doing Capitalism Wrong and it scares me” - bitter Boomers to Millennials who are not buying into their shit (or buying their shit)

Keep in mind that the subprime mortgage crisis was at a pretty pivotal time in Millenial’s lives, and taught them that financial institutions are not on your side, will lie to you, and specifically will lie to you about what you can afford. Like, this isn’t coming from nowhere.

I mean boomers refuse to pay a living wage to anyone and then wonder why those people don’t buy anything? I am sorry but what exactly is the disconnect here?

Millennials value work that has meaning above work that pays well and they hate that as well.  It means we can’t be shut up with busy work while they’re made to seem like they’re running a well oiled machine.  They come from a generation of a boss being someone who says “do what I say because I told you to” and we come from a generation who values a boss that says “what can I do for you that will help you excel at your job?”

Millennials do not cope well with meaningless busy work so their boss looks better.  They don’t cope with being talked down to or not being assisted by their boss when they have a problem.  They do not deal well with their innovative ideas being shut down because “that’s not how we do it here.” and I don’t see how any of those things is a problem.

Millennials are also the first generation since the internet was a prominent thing to utilize it as a source of information in a way that is empowering for each other.  A single millennial can buy a product and then inform anyone who wants to know about the quality of said product.  It only takes a handful of millennials to say “this is a substandard product” to render all the millions of dollars spent on advertising that product completely useless.

Big business has been a blotch on millennials lives since before most of you could even assume a role in adulthood to effect it, so you trust one another more than you trust advertisements or sponsorship, etc.  

On the flip side, though, you enthusiastically will push and promote things that you love.

Big business and their baby boomer CEOs and presidents HATE this.  Because it means that they can no longer provide a substandard product while making the consumer feel there is nothing better out there.

In the past, if every dish soap was awful, you just had to continue using awful dish soap.  Now, you can crowd source an alternative.  You can post in a forum, your facebook, a mass text, etc and say “I hate every dish soap, what can I do?” and you will be directed to actual good brands or you will be taught how to brew your own.

You’re a great generation, I’m really proud of you guys.

Seriously, tho.

I’d love to buy a house, but I can’t afford a down payment and can’t be certain that I’ll have the same income levels for thirty years and I don’t actually know whether the banks will accept my highly-fluctuating, self-employed-and-seasonal-labor income as stable enough or high enough to be approved for a mortgage.

And also every new housing development I’ve seen in the past five years has been “Executive Housing, Starting At 390K” and the realtor websites are full of last decade’s foreclosed subdivision homes in the $275K region, and there’s legit no one, including the zoning board, that’s going to help me find or make a cute little house on a tenth of an acre in the region of $50-60K, let alone every other millennial who might like to settle down in a place that suits her desires and means.

Oh, and that same zoning means five people aren’t allowed to share that $300K, 5-bedroom McMansion, because fuck us, that’s why.

And what else? The refrigerator that recently conked out on me was manufactured in 1967. That thing lasted almost fifty years, and today if I walk into a big box store’s appliance department to buy a new refrigerator they will tell me I should really buy a warranty to cover the apparently-substantial risk that it will break within two to five years.

Oh, and there’s apparently a $400ish premium to buy one with a convenient configuration because if you want the refrigerator on top and accessible without bending down for anyone taller than your average first grader there aren’t any of those in the entry-level price range. Once again, fuck us.

Then there’s the labor market itself, where “entry level” positions want three-to-five years of experience, and everybody won’t shut up about the trades but even that requires a $5K+ outlay to go to school for it, and every fast-food restaurant out there has a permanent “Now Hiring” sign up because they drive employees away as fast as they can replace them.

And so many food-service jobs involve being forced to throw away loads of food as it expires but if you eat it or take it home it’s viewed as stealing, and retail jobs sometimes require you to smash perfectly good computers with a sledgehammer so nobody can use them, and fuck all of this, yes, I’m gonna make my own goddamn laundry detergent from a recipe I found on the internet, and I’m gonna buy as much of my vegetables as possible in seed form, and I’m gonna fucking read the consumer reviews on shit before I buy it and I’m going to source a refrigerator from Cragislist for approximately the price of the warranty on a new one, and if The Market wants me to buy a house, it can bloody well wait for me to have the money.

Because seriously, with its “Ask not what your economy can do for you, ask what you can do for your economy” mindset and historic, far-reaching fuckery, the business side of the equation has little room to complain about millennials being the selfish ones.

I reblog this every single time it shows up on my dash

I’m on the Gen X/Millennial cusp so to speak, and this post is every fucking thing. Everything.

i cannot fucking believe i never realized this 

So as a division officer to nearly 60 sailors over 3 years. I asked every single one. “What made you join the Navy?” Here is the breakdown. 80% - To pay for college 10% - To get out of a bad family situation 5% - Family Tradition 5% - Because of 9/11.

“Would poor people literally risk their lives to win access to things that the rich take for granted if that weren’t set up as the only way to get them?”

Or say, “you’re [incorrect name], right?” If they correct you, they’re the real deal. If they say yes, then get out of there.

It’s never too soon to re-appreciate that a lot of adult bot flies are fat and adorable

Those are monsters that lay eggs under your skin? Really??

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

#this is team skull

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats.  The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe.  Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle.  Whenever he came over I’d put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don’t like being shut away without one of us. 

One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box.  I let her out and decide, hey, I’m hungry, and decide to the kitchen.  I forgot to shut the bedroom door. 

Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent.  My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up.  I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy’s leg, purring, and doing her “let me on your lap” meow.  The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out.  I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she’s harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her.  Very slowly he touches my cat’s face, and she leans right into his hand.  He then pets her back and sighs because she’s really soft and purring like mad.  After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it’s okay if she sits on his lap.

He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat.  The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats.  He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them.  A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent. 

Oh no a new one!!!

Blessed post.

I used to work at this stable for icelandic horses and every now and then this man would turn up by the field to just watch the horses. One time I walked by him as I was going to get the horses inside, and he went ”I always wanted to learn how to ride but I’m afraid of horses because they’re so huge. If I could ride ponies like this, maybe I’d dare but now I’m too big and heavy for them.” You should have seen his face when I told them that actually they’re not ponies, just small horses and they could totally carry him. His face just lit up. Next thing I’m helping him to get on back. Today he knows how to ride.

A few years ago my sister and I were in Daytona Beach, and we saw this huge, burly biker. Looked like the stereotypical biker: big black beard, the goggles, leather, and a bandana. He also had a baby carrier, and in that baby carrier was a tiny little orange Pomeranian. We complimented his dog and he said, in one of the deepest voices I’ve ever heard, “thanks, his name’s Little Bear!” And he told us about how he’d take Little Bear out on his motorcycle everyday and how much the dog loved it.

Such a lovely post.

Report: White Man in Local College Class Will Not Shut the Fuck Up

i really enjoy looking at the tags on this post

Some of my favorites:

Some more gems: 

(Also Tumblr I literally found at least four bots while scrolling through the tags on this post so please step ur pussy up)

The best notes written in manuscripts by medieval monks

Colophon: a statement at the end of a book containing the scribe or owner’s name, date of completion, or bitching about how hard it is to write a book in the dark ages

what does oh d fuckin abbot even MEAN

an abbot is the head of a monastery so it just means “fuck my boss” basically, an abbreviation of “O damned fuckin Abbot”. this is what it looks like:

Brasenose College MS 7, f.62v 

Medieval monks say Fuck Work

my absolute favorite part of tumblr is how much you guys hate symbolism and like to pretend english teachers made up symbolism and authors never intended to write it. symbolism is what saves books from being boring and lifeless. i need you guys to understand how lazy and childish you look when you complain about having to find symbolism in books made for finding symbolism

Lmao Im a writer and fuck writing symbolism. Its all accidental

Okay but some of us actually do write, both fanfic and original fiction and 90% of the symbolism is unintentional in our works.

I mean sometimes I roll with it because hey, that works, it’s like I subconsciously put it in there.

Other times it’s like “no, blue isnt a heavily used color because I developed a lot of the worldbuilding while depressed it’s because it’s just my favorite color”

Yeah, there IS a lot of symbolism in writing.

But sometimes a color is just a color, a name is just a name, and it’s not that deep.

So I guess what I mean is the reality is actually somewhere between “writing is full of symbolism everywhere” and “symbolism is all bullshit from overanalyzing stuff”

Just because a lot of folks haven’t written the next Great American Novel (which aren’t even always that great lmao) doesn’t mean their writing process is worthless.

Listen. If you want to tell me everything in Ordinary People has a symbolic meaning, then you better have a damn good explanation for the masturbation scene. I write fanfic. I write original fic. 99% of the symbolism is incidental. Fucking fight me. I love looking for deeper meaning in books and stories but BY GOD as a fucking author I can tell you with absolute certainty that if it speaks to a greater theme in the book? It’s probably intentional. If it’s just a specific repeated element? It probably has significance to the author. But if it takes you two paragraphs to explain it or it’s part of the minutia like a damn color? It’s 99% of the time just fucking unintentional. Red is a color I use for important things because I FUCKING LIKE THE COLOR RED. It doesn’t “speak of the passions and suffering of mankind over mcguffins and unattainable wealth.” if I have a character who happens to like rubies or red a lot. No. That character is me. And he likes red because I like red. Fuck you. 99% of the “deep shit” in Shakespeare is literally elevated humor. “Brevity is the soul of wit” isn’t some grand statement about how snappy talkers are better. It’s literally a joke because the dude who says it NEVER SHUTS UP. Shakespeare wrote so much fucking sex humor into his stuff. Acting like the rules of literature somehow doesn’t apply to fanfic is disingenuous and short-sighted. I’ve seen fanfic with better symbolism in it than I’ve ever seen in fucking Catcher in the Rye. And I’ve written stuff that blows my own mind because I’ll catch connections later on. And symbolism. And 99% of it is literally just convenient.

I dreamed there was a stove, once, and the stove’s name was English Literature And Criticism Fandom, and it began to heat up, and heat up, and heat up…..

have you ever been so in love with a fictional character so fucking much you don’t know what to do, so you just spend 37 hours looking every single last detail about that character and cry.

And then I fall out of love and feel like they’re my embarrassing ex.

no offense but how come none of y’all can just like or dislike something normally. it’s always gotta be “this is literally fucking flawless and pure” or “this is shit and you’re an immoral person for liking it” it’s so. Uncomfortable

So, I posted a fic today, and as I was setting up the AO3 post, I found myself writing in the end notes an impassioned - almost desperate, ngl - plea for comments. For interaction.

And yeah, for validation too. Because you know what? Writing is hard - despite commonly held misconceptions, it takes a shit-ton of effort to take some blank, empty void of a page and fill it with something that lives and breathes and touches the minds and hearts of others. 

And don’t you dare wave that “you should be writing for yourself” bullshit in my face. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve been able to do that, and honestly I’m glad managed to recover as much as I have and write as much as I do. Having an audience is an integral part of the writing process.

Let me repeat that.

HAVING AN AUDIENCE IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE WRITING PROCESS.

We fanfic authors don’t ask for much. As someone who is a published author, who has been published in a Real Physical Book™ and was paid hundreds of dollars in Honest-to-God cold-hard cash for less work than I put into my fanfic, let me tell you, a few comments will not pay my tuition or buy my groceries or put clothes on my back. Compared to the hours of labor that went into earning the money I was paid with, comments take substantially less time to create.

And yet, to us, they are priceless. Authors will create entire worlds for the sake of making a single person smile. YOU CAN BE THAT PERSON. WE WILL WRITE FOR YOU HAPPILY.

You just have to let us know you care.

And you’d better do it soon. I’ve heard too many authors all too willing to pull their tumblrs and erase or abandon their fics on AO3 because they have grown weary of screaming into the void. That fanfic you love? Gone. That chapter you’re waiting for? Never gonna happen. How many of you have bookmark lists with fics already missing? I bet you won’t even remember which one it is.

You can keep that from happening. Just write “Omg thank you for updating, I really liked _________!” and fill in the blank. Someone worked hard to put that smile on your face. You can make them smile in return.

“And don’t you dare wave that “you should be writing for yourself” bullshit in my face. “

This so fucking much!! Writers write to be read!

Writers write to be read.

Look at those shitbags thinking they can force a woman carry their offspring. Ah wait, they’re trying to push laws to facilitate that. What a bunch of literal animals. What was that meme about pee stored in the balls? T h e i r   b r a i n  is what's stored in the balls (leaving no place for the piss, so it just flows outta their mouths, and into those of the proud boys, as per another meme).

This mf can seriously go choke

EAT

THE

RICH