when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

JUMPING ON THIS OPPORTUNITY

LAST YEAR WE CAN REBLOG THIS GUYS

The two year-old is now a solid two and a half. Just now, he was sitting on the couch playing with his pretend flip phone and he frowned and said “for gods sake. My battery is empty.”

The other day at breakfast I asked him if he was going to eat any more of his oatmeal and he said “no, I think I’m just gonna move on with my life.”

Today we were walking along and he asked me “How many Octobers is it today?” I told him it was the 21st. 

He tried a bite of his hot soup at dinner and made a face and said “Mama, my soup is a little too temperature for me.”

Upon being served 1% milk for the first time, instead of his regular 2%: “is this water?”

Me: “no, it’s milk”

Kid: “but are you sure?”

Came up to me the other day, the middle of his pants totally soaked, and said “mama, I’m having a situation called ‘I peed in my pants.’”

I don’t think I even told you guys about the six months he spent saying “fuck” instead of “truck.”

literally obsessed with this tiktok (x)

Ms. Frizzle *in a star fleet uniform* “battle stations everyone”

We never violated the Prime Directive at my old school…

*staring at a corner of a galaxy map* “I guess you could say we measure distance in star feet.”

*groaning* “CARLOS!“

Uh…

That’s NOT THE SAME! That’s normal Ms Frizzle with her normal elementary school kids!

I’m talking Starfleet Academy Instructional Captain Frizzle as a part of the canon of Star Trek who teaches adults, taking them on fucked up adventures for every away mission. She’s the most popular instructor in history and has tenure. Liz is the first Gorn in Starfleet and her first officer.

October 2019 Illustrations  ヽ(• ‿ •)ノ

Will humanity ever be free of the influence of Edna Mode? Can any of us so much as consider the character design for a hero or villain without her manifesting in the room, fully aware of our sins?

You know what, another layer of difficulty is when you’re thinking about villains, and the wise words of Megamind come into your head. You don’t just want your child to be just a regular villain. But how do you make your villain a Supervillain with no cape? Where is the drama? But Edna says no capes, you must deny them the flair. It is impossible to please them both, and it’s tearing this family apart.

you. you get it.

(tags via @jeremiahsmysteriosotouch)

You don’t just whip the cape off, the cape then becomes the whip.

oh good

wow i love cards against humanity

This is so funny to me?? People are so desperate to escape their families that it makes ao3 crash lmao

So, VivinkArt on Twitter designed an Australian based Pokemon game, complete with starters, a map, and a regional champion - Steve Irwin

Gallopoli is the Pokemon Nurse companion

This little chicken turns into a goddamn 2 meter tall spider THAT IS BASED OFF A REAL SPIDER

BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE.

All of these are ORIGINAL DESIGNS, and that last one is a regional form of Krookodile.

Game Freak hire this bitch challenge

Most of these have names that in this context are punny. I love it.

winter is just [lives in oversized sweater] [reads 2,000 page book in 2 days] [sunsets at 2pm] [depression intensifies] [eats soup] [listens to melodrama] [existential dread] [is touch starved] [wakes up early and gets out of bed 2 hours later] [listens to hozier] [“bro feel how cold my hands are”] [drinks tea] [rereads harry potter for the 7th time] [both dreading and restless for the upcoming new year] [avoids human interaction] [drinks more tea]

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

hey y’all do you want to see a dragon that i drew

of course you do here he is

choose your fighter

the correct answer was…………………hobgoblin 3

Ladies and gentlemen hobgoblin number three

t'challa: we’re stuck in this God knows where universe how are you not worried

peter: she will find me anyways

shuri: who

duolingo owl with glowing red eyes tearing through the fabric of the soul realm reality: HOLA MADREFUCKER DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECA

yo no voy hesitar bitch

will someone please explain this to me immediately