A Little Blog Of Things I Love

I am now contemplating a social media au where it's people talking about how problematic Bruce was for calling Dick his "ward" and referring to the later kids as his adopted children and Dick has to go on Twitter like, "listen, I was eight and the word ward was so much cooler than any other option, you gotta stop dragging my dad like this, he already gets so much shit for the other decisions tiny child me made affecting the rest of his life," and people think he means stuff like the time Brucie accidentally called a chandelier a "7-pointer" because of Dickie's insane scoring system for how much fun it would be to climb on and it became a meme, but actually Dick means Batman accidentally calling it the Batmobile in front of the GCPD because Dickie thought it sounded cool, and now he's committed to it for life.

my favorite customer service slip ups

here are some extra ones that made me break out in tears enjoy

I'm golden-child!Jason and not-even-a-silver-egg!Dick truther for life, and that's so funny.

Bruce is used to the chaos he calls his son, so when Jason actually behave, Bruce is soooo confused.

Like, what do you mean Bruce can tell him to not do something and Jason will??? Obey??? The order??? Dick would never.

Bruce, fully prepared for scandal: You are not allowed to jump from one wardrobe to another, it's dangerous for you.

Little Jason, who has no idea why he should: Ok? I wasn't planning to anyway.

Confused Bruce: You wasn't?

Little Jason who are scared to touch anything here, because it probably costs more than his life: I don't want to ruin the mansion...

More Confused Bruce: You don't?!

Or 

Bruce: so, you are saying that if I tell you to sit in your room and read books, you will really sit in your room and read books?

Little Jason, who has no idea why he shouldn't: Yeah?

Bruce, whispering to Alfred: I didn't know they could do that.

father's day this year is 16th june 2024. i was THINKING about maybe a collection of posts, with a common hashtag- each post being sth about your father.

doesn't matter if the experience was good or bad, happy or sad, angry or anything else. it just has to be true and heartfelt.

...

would any of you care to join? i'll be making a discord server for those interested to fine tune things with a general consensus and smooth it over, but also the details will be made public for anyone else who wants to join.

if you are in, reblog/reply to this post and i'll include you for the server 🤝

“Bruce wouldn’t call his kids any cutesy nicknames y’all are cringe” first of all Bruce canonically refers to children as “honey” and “sweetheart” as BATMAN, so, close your mouth, monster breath

Second of all, Thomas Wayne called him everything from “Bunny, honey, sweetheart, baby, bambino, sweetie” to “Gumdrop, honeybee, amore, babe, “ and you can die trying to take it away from me

Dick is already "chum", but I can also see Bruce calling him "birdie" or being the originator of "pretty bird".

Barbara is "my dear".

Jason is "baby boy", no matter how much he yells about hating it.

Tim is "darling", which started as an in-joke about the way socialites talk to him and Bruce, but is now just what they call each other.

Steph is "bestie" bc Bruce 100% learned GenZ slang and horrifies Steph with it at every chance. High pitch intonation and all.

Cass is "butterfly", bc she deserves to be called something nice.

Duke is "sunshine" for self-evident reasons.

Kate gets "sweetheart", also part-ironically but with genuine warmth.

When Bruce calls Damian "habibi" out of costume, they're going to snuggle and watch a movie - in costume, he's about to start running for his life.

learned today (after googling it upon seeing the "Sadomasochism Brothers" post) that masochism was named by a psychiatrist who had read Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's erotic writing and was like "I feel safe in concluding that this man had Fucked-Up Freak Sex Disorder, which now until forever will bear his name", while von Sacher-Masoch was still alive. there are accounts of von Sacher-Masoch being like "bro what the fuck" about this

if the marquis de sade saw that sadism had been named after him, he would go "fuck yes"

oh no i'm being humiliated in public i hate this - Mr Masochism

Jason and Tim are arguing, Jason brings up how Tim stole his mantle

Tim, yelling: I did what I was supposed to do!! I got an adult! It's not my fault the adult wouldn't help! I had to take matters into my own hands, I will not be shamed for that! If you want to be mad at someone? Don't be mad at me. Or Bruce. Or Alfred. You wanna be mad at someone? Be mad at Dick Grayson, because when I saw that Batman was falling apart at the seams, I went straight to him! I asked him to help, when Batman was going to tear Gotham apart, piece by piece, in his grief, I BEGGED Dick to help, and he said no, so I had to step up because otherwise no one would.

Jason, not angry anymore: Wh- Tim, you were, you were 13! It wasn't your job to fix a grown man, you didn't have to be the one to save him...

Tim: Then why didn't anyone help!!

Jason: Tim...

Tim: why didn't anyone help?

AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND

Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.

But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.

But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like

“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”

AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”

and Batman would respond

“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”

JL: “NO?!”

what resembles the grave but isn’t, anne boyer // i didn’t apologize to the well, mahmoud darwish (trans. fady joudah).

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

Adding a few more I remembered:  28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests  32. A Faerie taking a Name  33. The Dragon on the Farm  34. Synovus & Menace  35. Raising the Anti-Christ  36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved)  37. Doctors without Borders…in Space!  38. The Villain-Wrangler  39. The Last Contact  40. The 100 Parent-Point Children  41. And the Heavens Wept  42. The Night Gentleman  43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

Wow! @writing-prompt-s contributing to like half of these!

I can hardly take any credit for these stories! But I love sharing them. Unfortunately I cannot read all the prompt responses so please tag me if you want me to reblog a story that resonated with you so I can give it a little boost :)

Endless Neverafter

strained

had a dream that I met a wizard and we fell in love and became unhealthily attached to each other so we decided to meld into one single creature together but the process was horrifically slow and painful and most of the dream was us lying in bed holding hands while lesions opened up in our skin and seeped out blue and green fluid and the wizard said "this is going to take a very very long time" and I said "that's ok"

the critics are raving

love the sailing boat discourse and all but i have to say being on a ship for a prolonged time does change a man and i don't mean in a hardened but wisened sailor kind of way i mean that everytime my brother returns from sea after a few months he has to be reintroduced into society like some sort of feral beast. being on a boat might not give you scurvy but it WILL erode your impulse control and ability to react normally to any situation whatsoever. that's just what months of hard work and inability to leave while the ground moves does to a mf

[ID: Anonymous asked: can you PLEASE elaborate on how coming back from sea makes you feral //end ID]

i have to stress that my brother is usually a calm and collected individual who makes a joke too loudly drunk sometimes but otherwise is pretty unassuming. however, he did his apprenticeship as a ship mechanic during covid, and was genuinely trapped in a container ship’s engine room for six consecutive months. in the first week of coming back, my brother has:

- taken a beer i calmly handed him, slammed it back in one go, and thrown the bottle as far as he could before i could even react

- in general consumed all food with the ferocity and disregard for social custom of a street dog to the dismay of my mother

- responded to a poor mcdonalds worker in a customer service voice said “sorry, busy day today” with “how is that my problem” (i tipped them very well and apologized profusely)

- overall reacted to people making polite conversation with a challenging and provocative tone misplaced in. a fucking grocery store

- developed a habit of random manic laughter, especially while doing things like driving, going on walks or other main land activities

- climbed a wall, a fence, and a silo on three seperate occassions without any warning or announcement

- RIPPED a fucking street post out of the ground and ran home with it.

again, he mostly returns to normal after you rehabilitate him (mostly by taking him shopping and to bars) but its fucking fascinating to witness someone forget about the social contract. and it has been better since they have been allowed to leave the ships in harbour again. but god damn.

Wouldn’t leave my mind sorry