Fine, You Win

//Look, are you guys waiting for me to kill myself? Is that what you want? You don't want me to take breaks or leave you alone. You just want to harass and abuse me until I kill myself like Alec Holowka. You slandered and smeared me on lies and out-of-context posts, called me a liar for rectifying it and posting my own receipts, then harassing me until I either end up in the hospital or die as many old anons were clamouring for.

All of my old friends from the site are gone or dying. The site has been replaced by lying, thieving, abusive teenagers and mentally ill adults. You guys didn't want to hear me out at all. You wanted a witch to lynch. And I'm done burning for your amusement.

I'm deleting this app off my phone and leaving. Have thus hellhole for all I care. I'd rather be around real people than fake ones. You all need to grow up and get over yourselves.

I'm not dying for your rotten asses. Get over it.

//Also more than 3 people support me. Its just that my life doesn't revolve around Tumblr and neither do my friend's. Literally just got invited to a school reunion, and I can't go because I'm visiting family in California and going to Vegas this weekend. But keep being petty, Kirmun. Tumblr is probably all you have.

WHERE WERE YOU?

//Short answer: Busy with life.

Long answer: Getting help for my mental state, hiding out of fear of being doxxed, talking to irl family and friends, and getting ready to fly out to California tomorrow. I also need a new motherboard so I'm still trapped on mobile, and I have personal issues with Tumblr, Cancel Culture, and the Anti Recovery rhetoric both promote because mental illness is neither an excuse nor an insult.

But I'm back for now! Plan on doing a headcanon based off DFFOO with screenshots so stay tuned! Follow me, message me, and let me know if you're interested in RPing! And to all the haters, you can message me, too (you won't because anon is off, cowards)! ❤

//I did not expect this guy to show up. A welcome surprise to be sure.

Just Had Some Thoughts...

//You know, being off this site and in the real world has put a lot into perspective. I finally know why this who situation bugs me and keeps crawling under my skin. It has to do with the mental health issue and how this site bastardizes it.

I have a mental illness. I've been candid about that since I started this blog. I decided not to hide it because a) I do unsavory actions sometimes and I want others to understand why and b) I want to signal to others that they're not alone and can talk to me. I'm in the process of self care every day. I'm not perfect, but I try, and I feel like I succeed in some areas.

But I do feel alone in that. My family won't take care of themselves in the same way, and its frustrating to see them suffer, know they're suffering, and not seek help. Add to that I tend to get used as a therapist by them, and its hard.

Then I started thinking about what happened. I see multiple people in that fight suffering, too. They don't seem to want help, either. Its really sad. I genuinely feel bad for Majora and Kirmun. They need help, but they're getting a hugbox instead. People are letting them get stressed and angry and ruin their public images and just cheering them on and calling them the victims. Its a mixture of ignorance and apathy. Its so sad.

And I mean this to their adult friends. Anyone still in school probably wouldn't understand this yet unless they themselves go through it. But if you're an adult, realize you're hurting them more than helping by coddling them like this. Its not healthy.

I don't want coddling. I want people to call me out if I do wrong. I said so from the very beginning. Its in my rules. Now, it has to have some grounding in reality, so the whole "I'm an abusive gaslighter who attacks others" isn't gonna fly. Real gasslighting is when your husband tries to make you feel insane so he can steal your money or constantly telling someone they're at fault so you can control them. Not pointing out flaws or asking for cash for your mother. Real abuse is a hate mob sending you death threats and mocking your mental illness. Real fear is staying off a site out of fear you've been doxxed.

I think the take away is that its not okay to let young people and ill people do self destructive things. Support them, sure, but not to the point where they hurt themselves. Tell them they're wrong. Help them seek help. Don't coddle and aid them off the cliff they're jumping. And don't mock another's illness because you don't like them. The prick who did that needs to get a life.

And anons will stay off for the time being. Either respond here in public or be a coward. I respond with my face because I have nothing to hide. Its your turn.

So I can start posting again, right? I can RP and no one will attack me for it? People can follow again? I just want to RP.

~Xixi

P.S. I'm stuck on my phone again, so I can't read a response on your blogs nor can I read them on my tags if you block me. Seriously, learn how Tumblr works, Kirmun.