how it feels when you say fuck it and apply to redacted prestigious masters program and get accepted but don’t know what you want from your career and hate making decisions and fear change and failure and spending money
oddly specific
forever in awe of people who pay attention. people who wait for you while you tie your shoes while the others have walked away. when they continue listening intently while the rest of the group stopped listening. noticing your moments of silence when everyone else hasn’t. “this made me think of you” noticing things you never even noticed about yourself. people who say “text me when you get home safe.” people who make you laugh until you cry. childhood friends who keep in touch. people with genuine intentions. people who are soft when the world has given them every opportunity to turn hard. the “let’s get ice cream” at 3am friend. the turn up the music in the car and sing friend. people whose actions match their words. people who make the world feel less chaotic. kindred spirits. the trustworthy and honest. hard workers. good listeners. clear communicators. people who love you for who you are. people who don’t ask you to be anything other than yourself. people who choose you. people who stay.
who up wanting something they can never have
dostoyevsky kinda ate with “your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.”
She’s a 10 but she lives off of academic validation while simultaneously procrastinating like she’s been promised immortality
We will NOT be stressing over people in 2024 when we could be studying and absorbing so much knowledge, learning the piano, taking up horseback riding, upgrading our skincare routines, reading so many more books, spending so much more time off our phones, giving the love rejected by some people to others who want it and return it in kind, learning music theory, taking up a language (French for me), saving up to travel, developing financial literacy, focusing on our goals, revamping our fashion sense, getting good at photography, carrying a camera everywhere w us, expanding our music knowledge, working out more consistently, and learning so many more recipes
raise your hand if you love jstor
stop playing it cool, just be passionate and intense and insane and whoever sticks around is meant for you
legit I’m so fucking tired and I just want a warm chest to lay on, my hair played with, and forehead kisses so I can have a decent rest
everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent
but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should
Im too young to be turning the age im turning this year
you are not meant to go a day without poetry
