@imadeit-isurvived / imadeit-isurvived.tumblr.com
Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell
imagine if a fuckin……. giant alien just showed up and stuck a huge hand in front of your face and then proceeded to offer you three different houses and wouldn’t stop until you moved out of your old shitty apartment and then helped you fuckin move
and then just left
I first saw this on twitter and COULD NOT get over these comments:
i have poetry in me but mostly it rolls around in me like a marble at the bottom of a glass
not much to be done about it
i hate you e-tickets. give me a little keepsake or die
oh he 100% doesnt know what year it is
i am not happy with our choices this election. But you should know that the reason he's the first president to "refuse" a cognitive test is because one isn't included in the presidential physical exam in the first place.
There was a petition of doctors who wanted Trump's cognitive function tested during his physical exam, and everybody involved on the republican side said no, and then Trump himself actually insisted he did take one in a fit of ego. He was, as far as i can tell, the first president to ever take one while in office.
At his request for the cognitive testing, Trump's doctor administered the Montreal Cognitive Assessment which is like 5 questions and has not been proven to be an accurate test of much at all. It's a lot like when you hit your head and they ask you the date and your name and stuff -- answering correctly in no way means you don't have a head injury or concussion or whatever, it's just a couple of first step questions. Then Trump said a lot of lies and bullshit about his "cognitive test"
Now republicans and right leaning publications are spreading shit like this. Biden didn't "refuse" a cognitive test, his aides confirmed that, as usual, a cognitive test is not included during the president's doctor visit.
again, i think our choices are shit this election, i don't like how old Biden is, and i think the way our first-past-the-poll voting system automatically results in an extremist two party system fronting candidates that the majority of the country doesn't like is some fucked up bullshit
but our house is on fire and one candidate is a bucket of water that won't help much and the other is a bucket of gasoline, and, y'know, angry as i am about it all i am still going to vote for the bucket of water while we look for other solutions
Don't let them trick you into letting gasoline get thrown on this fire please
At this point I’m not even posting this for politics reasons, I’m posting it because my GOD you gullible bitches need to learn how extremely basic propaganda works. Jesus christ.
Any conspiracy theory about people going missing in National Parks is automatically silly to me. Like "Why are National Parks such a hotbed of disappearances???" because they're full of idiots. You've got thousands of people who've never pissed outdoors in their life wandering around the woods/desert/mountain with zero experience and zero gear and zero understanding that this place can kill them. You don't see as many disappearances in wild areas because people don't go to them unless they have some background knowledge. Whereas you get tour buses full of old folks and suburban families shuttling people into National Parks 365 days a year. If you took the same amount of buffoons and dropped them in the actual wilderness the disappearances would be significantly higher than at the parks. Use your brain.
Some fun stuff from the notes:
"kill them with kindness" WRONG. CRAB 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀
oh hang on i got
This wins the internet for 2024!! 😂😂
Brilliant 😂😂
Touching grass is not enough; I need to travel far over the misty mountains cold.
I love Reddit sometimes.
A lot of people around me are having kids and every day it becomes more apparent that hitting your children to punish them is insane because literally everything can be a horrible punishment in their eyes if you frame it as such.
Like, one family makes their toddler sit on the stairs for three minutes when he hits his brother or whatever. The stairs are well lit and he can see his family the whole time, he’s just not allowed to get up and leave the stairs or the timer starts over. He fucking hates it just because it’s framed as a punishment.
Another family use a baseball cap. It’s just a plain blue cap with nothing on it. When their toddler needs discipline he gets a timeout on a chair and has to put the cap on. When they’re out and about he just has to wear the cap but it gets the same reaction. Nobody around them can tell he’s being punished because it’s in no way an embarrassing cap, but HE knows and just the threat of having to wear it is enough.
And there isn’t the same contempt afterwards I’ve seen with kids whose parents hit them. One time the kid swung a stick at my dog, his mother immediately made him sit on the stairs, he screamed but stayed put, then he came over to my dog and gently said “Sorry Ellie” and went back to playing like nothing happened, but this time without swinging sticks at the nearby animals.
The psych nerds found out ages ago that punishments that make the child think for a few minutes (about one minute or year of age until they're tweens) is much more helpful to develope social intelligence and understanding than punishments which prevents thinking, like the ones that involve pain. In fact, corporal punishment encouraged lying, extreme reactions, violent outbursts, go figure, they don't trust you.
This is all really fucking serious and important and I'm mainly reblogging for that, because this correct mentality needs to be spread around more, but I'm also reblogging because I absolutely lost it at the child who dreads having to wear the normal blue hat of shame.
I bought a book with extremely modern and relatable translations of Sanskrit poetry from 2,000 years ago
do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"
do yoo evew say someting and den tink “wow dis isn’t even a bit!! im just wike dis UwU”
This post has been UwU-ified!
i feel dirty after reading that
do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO
i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you
When is it my turn to be happy.
i think that the "i do not control the ____" memes are generally tame and do not lend enough credence to the genuine absurdity of the original line that is
I saw this and remembered that I had this thread saved in a folder and figured this would be a good time to bring it out
READ THE WHOLE THING. I cannot garuntee that you will be pleased, but I can guarantee that it is one HELL of a rollercoaster.
I knew this in general but not in this much detail, fascinating. It’s an affront to all that is good and moral, though, that this thread includes no mention of the lobster cult
