Thad Powell, Ode to a Roadkill Poet (via beggerprince72)
Letter for my Queen LXII. ( Spacewalkers. )
alone.
I need combat boots and hair ribbons Pony tail ties with bows and black skirts I need bright pink lipstick and jet black hair I need to keep my innocence and release my macabre flare
Need
There is a bone shattering, earth quaking desire in me;
a giant, gaping hole of need.
I need this. I need you. I need your touch, your voice, the feel of your hair between my fingers. I need to feel your breathing go sharp as I touch you. I need your breathing to go sharp as I touch you.
I need to touch you.
This need is so loud, it’s screaming at me
and it’s louder than nearly any other sound.
There is a powerful, almost entirely overwhelming, soul shaking desperation to it; it burns away just underneath my skin and it lurks in the dark corners of my mind, sparking and lashing out unexpectedly.
I find myself needing you more badly than nearly anything else, because somehow, in the most unexpected, unintentional of ways, you have become my sanctuary against the world; you are my safety in all the ways that count.
You are this strangely solid, grounding force in my life to the point that even when you appear outwardly frenetic, like you’re about to fly apart into a thousand tiny pieces, for me, there is this unnatural stillness to your presence. The rest of the world spins madly, it twists and it turns and it shakes, but you are still, you are solid, you are steady; you are here and all of your energy is focused on the moment. And it is astounding.
You are as bright as sunshine when the rest of the world is dark and gray, clouded over and dimly miserable.
You are sharper than any blade I’ve seen or used, you have a mouth like a canon and when you aim it at me, it sends sharp sparks of anticipation shooting down my spine.
You are all these things and you are brilliant, you are cunning and you are beautiful, with your pale skin and your long, graceful fingers pulling at your dark hair, your honey-amber-whiskey colored eyes digging straight into what’s left of my soul and pulling it apart, then putting it back together, then pulling it apart again, and all in a fraction of a second.
And I need you.
I need you so badly,
it’s downright destructive.
It fans what little spark is left in me into flames so large they can only be described as wildfire and I can’t help but feel as if I am being burned alive.
As you well know, this is not my first - or sadly even my second - experience with being burned alive, far from it.
But this time is different.
This time it isn’t painful or agonizing. It isn’t excruciating, brutal or torturous. This time I don’t run from the flames, but towards them. I welcome them, I even welcome the scars I am sure will come from this, because you are easily worth any pain I could endure in getting to you, in being with you for however long you’ll let me.
I am stunned and astounded but at the same time not at all surprised that more so and more so, everything else is burning away, leaving only one thing in my line of sight: You.
Because you are brilliant, you are beautiful, you are cunning and you are clever.
You are everything. And I do not deserve someone near as beautiful as you. I do not deserve someone half, a third, no, a tenth as beautiful as you are.
Because I am broken;
I am the lingering, dark and twisted echo of what was once a man.
Everything I’ve ever had was violently torn from me, leaving me raw and gasping; I have been battered and scarred to the point where all that’s left of me is constantly screaming with rage.
And this rage… it shatters whatever semblance of humanity I’ve got left and leaves behind a dull ache that is constantly demanding violence and retribution, even against those who have not wronged me.
I am greedy to the point of being downright insatiable
and you shine brighter than anything I have ever seen.
I do not remotely deserve you and if I were even the slightest bit decent, I would leave you alone, I would run as far from you as it is possible for my legs to take me, but as I’ve already established, I am not even remotely the least bit decent.
I want you.
I need you.
And I will find a way to make you mine.
Thad Powell, Ode to a Roadkill (via beggerprince72)
A draft of my poetry chapbook exists in reality. Five years of writing collected, curated, and polished down. About goddamn time, me.
Thad Powell, Ode to a Roadkill Poet (via beggerprince72)
far away (via yakarigabrielwrites)
(via beggerprince72)
Thad Powell, Ode to a Roadkill Poet (via beggerprince72)
Convincing
It’s amazing What we can convince ourselves of What we can deny How we can be So blind How we can Have such conviction We blind ourselves To what we don’t Want to see Want to hear We block Those things The things We don’t want To admit Can’t admit Even to ourselves It’s amazing How convincing We can be
Written September 2015 by Lynn Carl
Society’s Darling (Someone Save Me)
Society made me this way But I did too I’m so stupid For giving in To what they Say is beautiful To what they Say is good What happened To all that talk All those words I’m so stupid For falling For it all Now I can’t Get out of my head Get out of my mind I’ve become trapped What happened To all that talk Saying not to listen To what they Have to say Telling everyone “You’re already perfect” “Don’t give in to society’s standards” “Be you.” Now I’ve fallen Into the trap And the hole is deep I’m trying To climb out Trying To crawl out I’m reaching out Somebody save me I’m sinking fast Somebody save me Tell me those words Somebody save me From society From myself I hate myself For all of this I hate society too I hate that I gave in To what they say And now I can’t stop The voices won’t stop I’m so far gone I’m so stupid For giving in Society made me this way But so did I
Written September 2015 by Lynn Carl
Typewriter Daily #68
(a.g.m.) we keep flirting and it’s driving me insane (via apronfullofroses)
For the girls who needed to hear this, myself included (via fuckyouveryveryymuch)
Thad powell, Ode to a Roadkill Poet (via beggerprince72)