welcome to my twisted meme

Sometimes God is too good to us

im a fondant anti. make your cakes edible

muppet version of knives out where daniel craig is the token human and changes nothing about his performance

this is absolutely sending me

taking any college course on societal issues in the united states is just like: *realizes its bc of reagan* *traces the cause back to reagan* *discovers the original policy came out of the reagan administration* *finds factual inaccuracies ignored by the reagan administration that are then used to push policy* *finds statistics that show the severity of the aids crisis as well as the beginning of mass incarceration of poc were caused by reagan* *hates reagan*

Thank god for titties and pasta

booty shorts that say ‘insufferable’ on the ass 

we owe literally no one more on this planet than the woman behind fantasy name generator

her name is emily and and she runs it all by herself

everyone say thanks emily!!!

you: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be outcorned

me: *eats 101 ears of corn in ten minutes* just another day in the corn fields

what?

I don’t know. i woke up at 6am, wrote this, and went back to sleep

hope youre okay

Hangin with my Gnomies!

#woah loving the blasphemous vibes from thos hats

hey pun what the FUCK does that mean

Blasphemous vibes

Pun I thought you mean blasphemous in the biblical sense and nearly flipped my goddamn lid trying to decipher what about gnome hats was an affront against god

something: *is none of my god DAMN business* me: 🔍👀📝

hat idea for ants

Today on “memes that would be incomprehensible two weeks ago”

formative experience I just recalled: waiting outside the vet’s office when I was 8 or 9 and seeing a guy with a falcon walk in, saying to me as he passed, “What’s the matter, kid? You afraid of birds?”

it made me afraid of birds

GIRL I-