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Your Guess Is As Good As Mine

@gollumni / gollumni.tumblr.com

23yo he/they/she
mtg and dnd and whatever I like idk go suck an egg stinky
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I need to never drink alcohol cause one shot should not be getting me this fucked up

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HAVE YOU PLAYED TEN MILLION HP PLANET ?

By Liam Ginty

TEN MILLION HP PLANET IS ABOUT FIGHTING A PLANET THAT HAS TEN MILLION HIT POINTS! DESCRIBE YOUR ATTACKS IN EXTREMELY COOL WAYS! ROLL THOUSANDS OF DICE! THE GAME IS PROBABLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PLAY PHYSICALLY BUT THANKFULLY VIRTUAL TABLETOPS EXIST!

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reblogged

I want a low level adventure for investigating an old abandoned (why) temple/jail? Why they have been asked to go in is the adventure but as a plot hook for a future adventure they will find a locked up vampire (how) who they can leave, attempt to kill or let go. The key thing is he will offer something if they do the latter pertainent to a later adventure.

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Dungeon: The Bargain At Barrowfort

A grim history and rumours of haunting keep people away from the old fortress, Once the domain of a wicked count who was all too fond of brutality and torture as a means of keeping his power. Though it has been many years since a heroic rebellion ousted the count and his patrons from power, time has yet to banish the shadow that has come to dwell behind it's battlements.

Adventure Hooks:

Using the area's foreboding reputation to avoid detection, a band of outlaws has claimed the Barrowfort as their base, striking out at caravans and small settlements with weapons salvaged from it's old armouries. When the party eventually raids the crumbling fortress, the scent of ensuing death will awaken a long slumbering hunger; the Barrowfort's ghoulish final garrison, starved out by besieging rebels and driven to unspeakable acts that cursed them with undeath.

Local lore has it that the fortress was built on the burial mound of an ancient queen, who's tomb-curse doomed the original builders and all those who laid claim to the fort in subsequent generations. Due to a quirk of inheritance, an ailing relative of one of the PCs has left them a deed in their will, and the party best get to the root of the curse (and claim their sick new base) before it brings doom upon them.

In the dungeon's deepest vault resides the last victim of the Count's cruelty: Before his capture Ser Karagol was a ruby knight of Wee Jas, goddess of death, passion, and magic. Ser Karagol was a vampire, but he was also a dutiful and pious man, living his life according to a code that restrained his appetites and directed his long centuries of unlife to the goddess's service. The count hoped to force the vampire into sharing the "gift" of immortality, binding him with holy chains and starving him for months at a time in an attempt to break him down. Decades after being forgotten in the dungeons, Karagol is in a sorry state, slipping between lucidity and feral hunger as he struggles against his bindings. Deliberation and mercy in rehabbing the vamp can earn the party a powerful ally in both the knight and his church, but a slip of awareness might result in one of them becoming gravely hurt.

Repeated acts of cruelty and deprivation have stained the Barrowfort to it's very foundations, marking it for Yeenoghu: demon lord of insatiable hunger. Some time in the future, whether the party is holding a feast in their new hall, or when an ambitious occultist claims the ruins for their own, a portal will open and allow minions of the gnawing god to steal through.

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I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts at work and

I don’t know who I have to yell this at but I am not going to watch the Amy Winehouse movie. I swear if I have to hear some shmuck going “That’s my doctor, that’s my Amy!” again I will find the person who greenlit this ad campaign and shove forks in all of their orifices

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God people fucking suck sometimes.

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sapphling

people aren't allowed to be cis

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shyflops

after much consternation we have decided to allow some of you freaks to be cis. but only if you're reeeeeeeeeally sure about it

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People have got to get more comfortable with not interacting with stuff they don’t like

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I’m so fuckign eepy I need like five kissy on my forehead

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