there is a website to find out how many goats you are worth

I am worth 6 goats.

Almost? Fucking almost? Second place is the first loser, y'all!

But seriously, this is a lie. I’m worth, like, 5 goats, max.

Your goat worth is:8. 

Not only will his dad give you 8 goats, he’ll throw in his brother too!

Shane Madej attacking Ryan’s desk while drunk on his instastories on June 1st, 2018.

funny story

when I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to club penguin except it was called Nicktropolis. and if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “what is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. so I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then i would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “what is your eye color?” (which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). i would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own account’s. and if it I didn’t want it, i could sell it for money

I love robbery and fraud

School 

if catholicism/christianity is fake… mary really was in that for the long haul. she pulled the longest con in existence & even got her kid in on it

mary’s friend gabriel who knocked her up: you told joseph i was a what now?

mary, taking a sip of her coffee: an angel, gabe. try to keep up.

joseph: what the hell, you’re pregnant?

mary, about to invent christianity: oh? you haven’t heard?

If boy didn’t leave with a pastry I swear to G

GUYS HE GOT HIS COOKIE, EVERYTHING IS OKAY

(Story)

I’M INTERRUPTING YOUR FEED WITH A V IMPORTANT UPDATE

My content gets shittier every day.

this cured my depressive episode

fuck rick and morty

piss in a porty

die before fourty

oppressed for being horny 

idk why people hate hamilton this fuckin slaps

Moss Graffiti: A How To Guide

are you fucking for real

Imagine being the criminal who returns weekly to make sure his fucking plant art is doing alright

Later

I found it! I fucking found it! In my fucking dash! Nothing can stop me now! *EVIL GIGGLES*

OMG SAME RIGHT I SAW IT A YEAR AGO AND WAS UPSET I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN

Sheer power. Sheer performance

is this @crankgameplays?

Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one

Mood to the max!

Tubular af

groovy, i hate it

If she breathes, she’s a square

skeletons are known for their salty commentary on the living

i!! love!! miraculous!!

if you’re ever sad look at this

or this

instead of being mad at someone watch stitch cuddle with a pillow

shhhh don’t cry look at stitch !!!

NO SADNESS !!! NO NO !! STITCH !!

stitch doesn’t want u to be sad !!

pls don’t be sad

PLS 

stitch loves you stay safe 

until we yeet again…