NEC SPE. NEC METU.

happy april 30th!

*head in hands* i love this scene so much

— anne carson

I can feel myself slowly becoming obsessed with captain flint and it scares me

deleting my dating apps because i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (i am brutally beating a man to death to maintain my extremely fragile status as captain of my pirate ship and you're my new lying ass fake cook with his silly little fake name witnessing the scene like you're both scared and horny)

if i speak.

The continuous narrative of existence is a lie. There is no continuous narrative, there are lit-up moments, and the rest is dark.  –Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping

just because a white person is lgbt does not mean that marginalization makes them incapable of being racist

“I’d want to be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies.”

Reposting this AGAIN because apparently it didn’t show up in the tags the first time 😐

SHŌGUN - Chapter Seven: A Stick of Time

Btw when someone says "don't talk to me like that, I don't know you" the normal thing to do is apologize for the perceived overfamiliarity and correct the behavior. Just in case anyone was wondering

If someone said that to me I would unironically dig an underground bunker by hand and only ever leave to pick up doordash orders and nobody would ever see me again ever holy shit

Alternatively I would just jump off a bridge immediately god damn even just reading that makes my soul want to fucking die

hey dude this is a really weird thing to say to a stranger!

Buddy you don't get it I would fucking perish

Hey dude i know rejection sensitive dysphoria is a thing but if you react this strongly to people setting simple boundaries you need to figure out how to work through that

Oh I deal with it. By being incredibly careful about anything I say to anyone in person ever

Although I once asked my cousin if I could join her dnd group (I have noclue how it works) and she went "Uh... No" and basically was like "you'd fuck it up" (she was very nice about it but damn I felt like the dumbest bitch alive ever)

And I haven't recovered since! So yeah that's why I'm a freak online because real life is impossible lmao! Hope this explains it!

That's not dealing with it but good luck I guess

Fyi, this is not only a bad way to deal with it bc it's straight up leaning into your own disordered thinking, but it's also EVEN MORE inconsiderate than the original offense of being overly familiar.

Y'all may not realize the things you do are manipulative, but responding to a fair boundary (that isn't even stated in a rude way) with "If anyone ever set this reasonable boundary with me I would run away into the woods" is manipulation. You are making it more difficult for people to feel safe telling you when you've made them uncomfortable or crossed a boundary, which means they'll likely respond by either cutting you off or allowing you to walk over their boundaries for fear of setting you off.

That's manipulative. You might genuinely be mortified, but that is something you NEED to work on, because the alternative is forcing everyone to walk on eggshells around you at the risk that politely setting any boundaries will set you off.

If you'd be fucked up if someone said that to you, that's understandable. I would be. So apologize politely, then deal with your own shit on your own time.

Here are some easy scripts for when you have overstepped that boundary:

"Oh, sorry! My bad, I'll back off."

"I'm sorry- I'll keep that in mind for the future."

"Whoops! Sorry about that, I'll keep an eye on my tone."

"Ah, sorry! I didn't mean to overstep or be so familiar. I won't do it again- have a good one!"

These:

-Deflect with a casual tone. You overstepped a boundary, you didn't murder their cat. Unless you did something super egregious, they probably don't hate you, they just want you to back off a little.

-Apologize for the behavior without making it too emotional. You don't need to castigate yourself- that makes things feel worse for everybody. Just say you're sorry.

-Indicate that you will not do the action again and provide a way to move on. Overstepping a boundary is NORMAL. It isn't great, but it happens to literally everybody at some point. Just say you're sorry and move on. Unless they express otherwise, future communications are probably still an option- just in a way that respects the other person's boundaries.

Scripts are great for social anxiety and RSD. Everybody screws up eventually, so don't make it worse for yourself and let the anxiety win. RSD loves to trick you into devaluing yourself and other people, so practicing healthy social interactions is a good way to learn how to live with it.

you say change religions, now i spend sundays with you

(youtube)

“The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt, but patrochilles

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