its most likely about me...

people saying ima hoe...

ima slut...

i slept around...

i fucked in the park...

well when people do that it leads me to...

injure myself...

or when i fail on something...

it leads me to be "emo"

its just sometimes i want to be alone sometimes..

i  have alot to deal with but im not trying to just get attention...

i hate opening up...

i only 100% trust a few people...

and i just...

cant handel all of this...

so when bitches talk shit...

they really dont know what it can lead  too..

small world

me and mati know ricardo...

ricardo know anthony...

anthony know sydney..

sydney knows my sister...

my sister know me and mati...

me and mati know anthony...

knows ricardo...

ricardo knows us...

now we just need to meet sydney...

yup!!

phtotgraphy<3

I lay on my bed...

I turn up the music to tune out the drama...

then...

i close my eyes...

and go to my own little world...

i hold my breath...

And I feel like im floating off on a cloud...

were nobody can find me...

were nobody can judge me...

were nobody can see me....

were i can be...me...

so many people have siad i can trust them and i can go to them for anything...but these are really the only people that i really can trust and go to them with anything...and they dont judge me...oh and raymond...and my loser lmao...i <3 my loser!!!

finally somebody understands!!!

finallly someone understands what im saying when i say magan fox is soo not hot!!!

sugarcreamcandy posted up something nameinf PERFECT examples of how megan fox is not hot!!! and she has great point....she says she has a sour face....yes she does...she has no body what so ever!!! also mentioned in her post...and she is a coke head!!! i agree with sugarcreamcandy 100% on her post about megan fox!!!

the life we have...

the life we have...

there are lies...

there is pain...

and we have no control of what people do....

there is death...

there are people that damn right dont care...

people might tell you that they love you...

and care...

but that just leads us back to the lies....

but thats not the only thing in life...

there is also love but its rare...

the is care but its hard to find...

there is life but it wont last forever...

the life we have...

the life we have...

there are lies...

there is pain...

and we have no control of what people do....

there is death...

there are people that damn right dont care...

people might tell you that they love you...

and care...

but that just leads us back to the lies....

but thats not the only thing in life...

there is also love but its rare...

the is care but its hard to find...

there is life but it wont last forever...

never ending

the horizzon is as far as you can see...

when the ocean ends....

the sky begins...

but even when the sky and ocean meet...

we all no the the earth goes on...

when you think about it...

life is like the earth...

it goes on...

if one thing bad happens...

its not the end of the world...

if the best thing ever happens to you...

life still goes on...

she actually understands me

nothingn has changed

i wake up and i think things have changed....

but i know that he will not change for me...

i know that if anything changes...

i wont be his anymore...

if anything changes...

it will be a family of three...

and not four...

im not all for this drama...

but somehow...

i'm always the center of drama...

i have done things...i have hurt myself...

but my dad didnt care...

i think mabe one day...if a mirical happens...

he will change...but i guess im going to have to give up on that dream...

me and my bestfriend!!!

i  got a feeling that people dont realize....

what they have right infront of them...

the dont respect the right people...

they are prouud of the wrong people...

people are so blinded by "love"...

im starting to think it doesnt even exist....at all...

one of the people that is sposed to love me the most...

have hurt me the most...

hidding thing...not showing me love...not being there for me when i need him the most...

only being proud when he chose to...

left me so many times...in the cold...

thought he was sposed to love me know matter what...

but when it feels like i dont have a father anymore...

it feels like every good thing i have done...has gone to waste...

i feel like he wants nothing to do with me...

that he doesnt even want me anymore...

i dont think he want me as his own daughter anymore...

that everytime he said i was his little girl...

it was all a lie...

he is proud of his pot head kids...

but cant be proud of his honnor roll student...

i think that its wrong that he has called me a tramp...

i think its wrong that...he is my dad...

and i have only really seen him proud of me...

when my mom tells him to say hes proud of me...

or when im playing softball...

but if i do something right...

he tells me to do it better...

i dont think that this is a good dad...

i found out something...

i big something about my father...

but if  i say something to him about it...

he wont care...

he didnt care when i told him my sister treated me like dirt...

he didnt care when i told him that my brother...

said that im going to be one of those emo kids that blows up the school...

he didnt care when i told him my brother was smoking weed infront of me...

he didnt care when i told him my brother left my nephew with me for 13 hours and didnt even look me in the eyes and say thank you....

even though i was the ONLY kid out of his three kids that was there in the hospital by his side when he strocked out after surgery...

ya he says im the only kid that has not screwed up...

but he is waiting for the day i screw up...

i just know it...

he doesnt get that...im not like my brother or sister...

and hang out with my friends and get stoned...

but i sometimes think...

i might as well fuck up NOW...

and let him stop waiting...