The Lizard Man

boys: jacking off

girls: jilling off

non binary : ferching a pail of water

yeah

I took this photo in a rest stop outside of Phoenix…

She’s gone so far. Where will she stop?

MOST BASS ARE JUST FISH BUT LEROY BROWN WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL

women learned about the concept of love languages and never stfu

I hope our baby’s love language is acts of service

normal brain: playing pokemon B/W as a nuzlocke or efficient playthrough proves N right because you turned your pokemon into tools for your own personal gain

galaxy brain: playing pokemon X/Y without using mega evolution proves Lysandre right, because you are presented with a scarcity scenario with the mega ring and you use your strength to selfishly decide that nobody should have or use one

universe brain: Resetting pokemon D/P/Pt proves Cyrus right because you have full control over the game’s universe and can freely remake it in your image on a whim.

Nothing proves Archie and Maxie right because they are morons.

garfield could probably understand the mechanics of driving a car but his legs are too short and stubby to reach the petals. this is also known as "Yoda's Quandry"

run over a bitch in his 2003 toyota prius he must

so i love peppermint candy and when i was in middle school theyd hold a candy cane sale in december, one quarter per candy cane! extremely excellent deal, except i was twelve and completely broke. so one year i scrounged for floor change for a couple of days before deciding i was desperate and stealing $20 from my mother’s nightstand 😔 it weighed on me for a full decade until a few months ago i decided to finally confess to my mom and she was like. yeah dude you came home with eighty candy canes. do you think i’m stupid

all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.

Isn’t Lady Gaga bisexual?

yes that is indeed why she's on the list of famous women who like women

why have multiple people reblogged this with some horse-assed "um actually most of these people are bi or pan" did I fucking stutter I said they like girls. what is your point. I'm going to kill you.

#op probably has this post muted but the icon is too real.

the icon is because of this post

POV: you make a good post and then encounter tumblr reading comprehension

btw to just clarify for anyone who sees this reblog of this post

op is basically saying something along the lines of "yea ik taylor swift is bi but like. why is she y'all's only lgbtq+ pop icon when there are all these other lgbtq+ people in the pop scene???"

i might have worded this badly but hopefully i got the main point across

hi op here I certainly did not fucking say Taylor Swift is bi

Op is saying that liking Taylor for being QUEER or Lgbtqia+ is not a bad thing, but to also know she is not the only one.

He did not call anyone in the original post lesbian bi or pan.

He did call two people NB

you have to be fucking with me there's no way

#Op you gonna have to make a graph

on it:

Thank you keemstar for providing the world with one of the funniest tweets of all time

penis tips and tricks

in order?

watch and learn, dumbshits *teleports thirty meters below my current position and suffocates on dirt and clay within seconds*

if ur wondering how the art degree is going 2 months post grad.

i found a job that pays $1.15 an hour :]

another one ..although im p sure this one was written fully by ai. also they have an ugly website

wjat

can they like release new vegetables 

yeah