I follow the "leave nothing but footprints take nothing but photos" rule of state/national parks yeah because conservation. But also because when I was 11 i read a short story about a girl who went to a museum and stole a bandage flake off a mummy on display with the mentality of "im just one person one piece won't be missed" then at night she was visited by the mummy and it plucked a single hair from her head and then the next night a different mummy took another hair and she realized that there were only so many pieces to her before there would be nothing left and that story was forever wedged in my brain. Anyways leave cool rocks where you find them or the mummies will get you
the fact that being a woman and not wearing makeup is considered subversive in many places... Girl I am literally just alive. This is my face
when it takes you a while to process what someone is saying and you realize they asked you a question
I cannot fucking believe I am drunk, past midnight, and tumblr is throwing fucking saturated fatty-acids at me
Listen here friendo I didn’t sit through a year of organic chemistry for you to come into my house and call a carboxylic acid a saturated fatty acid you respect that hexadecanoic acid
And I didnt get a degree in biochemistry to hear you say that carboxylic acids with aliphatic chains arent fatty acids. That hexadecanoic acid IS a saturated fatty acid!
i love that missing one post on here makes this entire website incomprehensible. my friend never saw the og blorbo post and didn't understand the blorbo meme for like a month. i didn't see the ps5 guy tiktok and had no fucking clue what was going on for a week. if you happened to miss the post about the star wars slug you're probably curled up in a ball sobbing right now
The comic version is better imo
Which new white boy with fluffy brown hair are the teen girls obsessed with these days I can’t keep up
These dudes keep emerging randomly from the swamps and I have mild face blindness I can’t keep track they literally all look the same to me I’m sorry I don’t know which factory makes them
*tears open scroll, squints* i believe it’s andrew garfield again, sire.
What? Again? He’s like 38.
His hair is still fluffy.
I am not surprised that anti-choice zealots would hypocritically obtain abortions, but I am thoroughly fucking shocked that they wouldn’t even attempt to hide their anti-choice views when doing so.
me: my wife? that old ball and chain?
my wife, a chain chomp from super mario: *blushes*
this is my wife everyone be nice to her
Your wife ruined my Mario 64 Bob-Bom Battlefield Speedrun I don't like your wife
well i hope you've been practicing since then because you're about to have to speedrun for your life
@flitterly
reading the calm down affirmations my therapist gave me
true story 100% real not lie (not fake all real)
i was on a boat in the middle of the ocean & a shark kink shamed me so i punched it & all the fish cheered me on & clapped
this is true i was one of the fish
im the shark kink
why is this comment on an apple crisp recipe me every single day at work
Please stop breeding :) faces, they might be cute but they have trouble breathing. Please consider the :-) breed or the :^) breed instead. They have the same temperament as the :) breed but with none of the breathing problems.
Every time I see this I get the inability to read past “please stop breeding :)” and recoil a little bit in the shock from that
Someone: “I want a cat/rabbit/other animal that will be super openly affectionate, go for walks, play fetch, not mind being handled rough, never be shy, and also I don’t want it to claw me or the furniture(so I’ll probably get it declawed) and I don’t want to ever clean a litter box or cage.”
Me: “Hey there’s this great new type of animal you might be interested in:”
Someone: “I want a dog but I don’t ever want to take it for walks or exercise it very much or let it outside and I want it to be fine with being left alone for longer periods of time and also never bark.”
Me:
Someone: “I want a cat or dog but I want to only feed it a vegan diet.”
Me:
Someone: “I want to have a pet but I basically never want to interact with it.”
Me:
Someone: “I want to get my kid a cute pet for Easter/Christmas!”
Me:
Get a pet that fits your needs. Don’t get a pet then try to force it to fit your lifestyle. Just because you saw a person walking a rabbit once doesn’t mean you can expect a rabbit to just be a dog. Just get a dog!
What pleases u in bed?