massacre

the Syrian dictator Assad, along with Putin, are about to completely massacre an entire city - Aleppo. the Syrian army has taken over 98% of the city. families are sitting together, praying, knowing any minute will be their last minute on earth. civilians are tweeting their last goodbyes, sending out last minute pleas for someone, anyone, to help.

imagine that. sitting with the people you love, holding each other, hearing nothing but their harsh breathing and the clash of bombs completely destroying your home, killing your neighbors, your friends, you. just imagine that. i cant, i really cannot.

the U.N. has already called Syria the worst humanitarian crisis in this century. experts are saying this massacre rivals that of WW2 (not to take away from the holocaust) in terms of how heinous and completely disgusting it is.

i’m not the best with words, with conveying me emotions. but please take a moment out of your time to acknowledge this, at least. this is the worst humanitarian crisis happening on Earth right now, according to the U.N. this is a breach of human rights, of all our rights. you should be concerned, in the least.

phil dabbing

dan: *acts tenderly and lovingly towards phil*

dan: *follows tender and loving action up by calling phil ‘bro’ or ‘dude’*

me:

when will the bro violence end

20/03/16

my entire life is me dropping things and whispering ‘fuck’

please help me

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

The idea that unicorns are only able tamed and captured by virgins originated as a medieval joke. The idea was that it took a mythical creature to catch a mythical creature.

There was once an English minstrel called Roland the Farter. He was awarded lands by the king on the condition that he turn up to the court every Christmas to perform his characteristic “whistle, leap and a fart”. His children could keep the lands after his death if they learnt and performed the same trick.

There is graffiti from the Norse invaders that reads (roughly) “ I slept with Ingiborg, the most beautiful woman in the world ”

A close friend of Alexander the Great named Dioxippus, once told one of his generals, named Coragus, to stop being so up himself, Coragus took offence and challenged him to a duel in front of all of his troops unaware that Dioxippus was a champion of Pankration, Ancient Greek Wrestling. Coragus turned up with all of his weapons and armour, Dioxippus turned up naked with a club, lathered in Olive Oil. The match was over in about 5 mins and Coragus got his arse well and truly kicked.

When an army of Swedes went off to war with the Norwegians, they left all the women to manage everything, however, in the village of Smaland, right on the Southern Border, they were attacked by an opposing force of Danes. The women, led by a woman named Blenda, responded to this by inviting the invaders in, feeding them, making them comfy and basically having a massive party to get them REALLY drunk. When all the invaders all passed out, the women slaughtered them all with anything they could find, and when the men came back, the King was so impressed that he basically granted them a bunch of new rights that were previously unavailable to them. From that point on, all daughters had the right to inherit property, money and land equally with their brothers, and were allowed to wear military-style garments around town and at their weddings.  They were also given the prestigious right to wear the Royal Coat of Arms on their clothing – a tradition that has lasted to this day.

The term in Chess “Checkmate” is thought to have come from the Persian term “Shah Mat” which means “The King is dead”.

Captain Benjamin Hornigold, the mentor to Edward “Blackbeard” Teach, once captured a ship just so he could steal all of the crew’s hats, because his crew had gotten drunk the night before and thrown all of theirs overboard.

Napoléon Bonaparte, the Corsican soldier who eventually became the Emperor of France following the French Revolution and Maximilien de Robespierre’s “Reign of Terror”, was terrified of cats.

It is always different and also always amazing

Anthropologists now think that the primary reason human beings first settled down en masse and took up agriculture may have been to facilitate beer-making. So basically, civilization exists because a bunch of our ancestors wanted to get their drink on.

Napoleon once got attacked by rabbits and had to flee in a carriage

Vikings bathed weekly and Saxons barely ever, so they worried the vikings would steal their women because they smelled better

In the 13th century, at the Fourth Lateran Council, Pope Innocent III had to ban the clergy from 1) participating in drinking games, and 2) from practicing necromancy and trying to control demons. Just before the First Crusade, there was a man named Peter the Hermit who basically preached that if the Muslim forces holding Jerusalem were defeated, it would instantly spark the Second Coming of Christ. Peter the Hermit ended up with a huge following of heavily-armed and very enthusiastic peasants. They were basically pillaging towns for goods, money, and supplies on their way to Jerusalem.. They finally get there, and they’re immediately slaughtered. At the Council of Nicea in 325, a man named Arius was on trial for spreading heresy. As he was defending himself, Saint Nicholas himself came down and smacked him in the face. Seriously, just image search “saint nicholas heretic,” there are memes. So many memes.