thali

Sorry my posts haven't been as frequent or funny as usual. It's because I'm eating well, sleeping regularly, and exercising

Kidnapped and experimented on by aliens but I was in the control group so nothing happened

I wish octopus could learn how to read. They could be pen pals with middle schoolers.

Dearest Samantha, I do not know what a guinea pig is, but it sounds delicious. I hope you have fun devouring it, or playing with it, if that is your preference. Today I hacked a local computer to get more bubbles in my tank and took a photograph of an unsuspecting victim. Do let me know how your human activities are going. And if this "Karen" continues to antagonize your brother, I would suggest smacking her very hard. And do send more canned snacks. Best Wishes, Octopus #5, Monterey bay research aquarium

Sharon Tate by Jean Jacques Bugat for Vogue Magazine-1967

lol okay I googled “bedazzled flip phone” with no other parameters and this was literally the third row of results

the only apparently legit source I could find was this Polish auction website that says (per Google Translate) “In connection with the Great Orchestra of Christmas Charity, you could bid for a unique Nokia 6101 phone, studded with Swarovski crystals, from the unique The Sims 2 series.”

you cant employ me in a way that matters

i cant believe that the azealia, elon, and grimes weekend where she was trapped at their mansion while elon was on acid really happened and it isn't viewed as like one of the funniest and most insane pop culture moments. i feel like only tumblr talks about it

PARROT FOR SALE.. HIT ME UP!