While feeding my fish I made a comment to my mom how one is getting a lil chubby and she suggested that maybe the fish was pregnant, but I had to break the news to her that both fish in the tank were boys and she goes “well maybe they’re gay, Natalie, did you think about that?” and I swear her tone was so perfectly condescending and Knowing™ that for a split second I actually felt bad for judging my fish’s relationship before I was like

same energy

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

2.5 million notes I hate myself

Not risking it xd

Gblxkrkw not risking it

Fuck y'all

i think we all know where her brain went here.

tony stark + evolution (part two)

non lesbians stop making useless / stupid / moron lesbian jokes challenge

for anyone wondering, “useless lesbian” jokes were originally made by lesbians as a sort of self depreciating joke, based on the fact that many of us don’t recognize when girls are flirting with us due to never learning about it + due to heteronormity.

when non-lesbians (especially men) make useless lesbians jokes is. gross. especially since many of them go really far (ex. lesbians are stupid / morons / clueless / too dumb to function). it’s really just. gross to go to someone’s blog + to see a bunch of “my lesbian followers are dumb + stupid + useless” or “lesbians are morons”.

if you’re a non lesbian, it would be super sexy if you’d stop taking our jokes made about our experiences + turning them into “every lesbian is stupid + dumb + useless! please give me notes!” lmao.

LOL

Same energy 😂

WHOS COMING OUT IN ENDGAME PLACE YOUR BETS

Every Exorcism movie

Priest: Unholy demon, release this soul in the name of Jesus Chr–

Demon:

Priest:

This will never stop cracking me up

Y'all better be going to bed at a reasonable time, don’t make me tuck you in and kiss you goodnight

don’t threaten me with a good time

Last warning before I sing you a lullaby, fucker

An episode of Haught doing a dance number….yes please

moms

Wish my relationship w god was like this

You want to be stripped of your autonomy and be reduced to a mere puppet of a higher power that you cannot fully understand nor comprehend?

Naw I just wanna be tenderly carried around in gods toothy maw

these are pictures of good moms!!!! they are gently carrying the babies in their toothy maws to take care of them. :) Nd the babies are not being hurt!! i will not let these large and good cat moms be slandered

Please watch Brooklyn Nine Nine

when there’s trouble you know who to call!!!

i was hanging out and cuddling with my girlfriend (we had just started calling ourselves girlfriends like an hour earlier) and i asked if i could kiss them.

the first time we tried, we totally missed and it became a hug.