You are the adventurer who went on an epic quest and defeated the evil king, all to gain the sacred amulet and use its one wish to revive your sister. Now everyone expects you to accept her death and use the wish to undo the damage instead. You refuse.

Blood has stopped streaming from the wound bisecting your brow, but it still stings your eyes something fierce. You take your gauntlets off, grimacing as the grime and soot from battle tries to keep the metal welded to your skin. There’d been an explosion during the final fight with the king – no, the tyrant. Explosions, maybe. Your magic’s been erratic lately, the sudden growth of your mana pool far outpacing your control. You wipe your eyes with the back of your cleaner hand.

There’s pressure in your chest you’ve never felt before. You want to laugh. No, you want to scream. Your body is too tired to jump around like you did when you were a little girl, but you find yourself bouncing in place regardless. The thrill of battle and of escaping the castle as it collapsed is thrumming through your veins. You did it. You did it.

You are so happy, so devastatingly happy, that you can feel yourself shutting down. You need—you need rest. Food. Sleep.

Then you can save her. Then you can bring her back.

“Roksala,” Prince Eloyn says. You squint past the last rays of day to see him frowning at you. The ruins of the tyrant’s castle don’t appear to interest him. His eyes narrow. “Are you ignoring me?”

"So uh, Legoshi from Beastars, what can I get you today?"

Funny how that works

I am so pleased at how many notes are some version of “I don’t fear the science, I fear the corporations who control it” because that is EXACTLY the attitude you should have. GMOs can save us. Monsanto will kill us.

what people fear about GMO- ‘theyre gonna make frankencarrots that crave human flesh and cause diarrhea ’ what GMO actually is- ‘we made rice crop that is both drought resistant and flood resistant which will prevent about 20% of major famine disasters, also it now makes vitamin A because vitamin A deficiency in poverty stricken areas is a major killer of kids as most vitamin A rich foods dont grow there’ what people SHOULD be upset about- ‘i made all crops sterile so all farmers have to buy the seed from me in perpetuity and i will sue anyone who tries to go back to crops that produce their own seed’

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

Cainceled 

This post gets worse every reblog

yet im not Abel to scroll past

This post hit me like a rock to the head

This is the quality content that keeps me on Tumblr

so I've been watching my boyfriend play Explorers of Sky

I currently have 16 cups up for sale with all profit going to either a Palestinian family’s gofundme (focusing on families with young kids/members with disabilities) or using one of the listed charities on this tumblr post, such as the diabetic mutual aid. I will publish all receipts and Etsy statements in a public masterpost for anyone to view.

Currently I have 16 cups, am in the process of making more.

3 cups sold! Thank you to the people who bought them, that’s more money for Palestinian families.

I will be sending the first wave of mugs tomorrow and Saturday, then make a donation as soon as the money from Etsy comes in!

Happy Piccolo Day!!

HAPPY PICCOLO DAY

The child in a strict religious household has to hide their worship of a pagan god, all while the various “gifts” from their patron become harder to explain.

Connor was beginning to feel like Odin’s sense of humor was a bit twisted when the raven landed on the middle of the picnic table during the saying of grace.

Mom screamed, dad said some decidedly Un-Christian words (or maybe they were in the Bible, Connor hadn’t paid much attention in Bible Study) and Grandma looked ready to have a heart attack.

Connor could have sworn too, but for very different reasons than his father.

“Get out!” he cried, swiping at the bird, knocking over the ketchup and mustard bottles. “Shoo! Get lost!”

The raven cawed, the noise sounding suspiciously like laughter, and fluttered over his swiping hand.

“Gift!” it croaked. “Gift for worship! Reward for prayer!”

Connor wasn’t too worried about the others understanding it, the servants of the Gallows Lord only spoke to those who could understand them, or something like that. ‘Not here! Not now!’ he thought. “SHOO!”

Aaaaand dad had a two-by-four and was swiping at the bird. Great.

At last taking the hint, the raven flapped into the air, taking off, flying over Connor’s head. None noticed the small object the bird dropped directly into Connor’s lap.

Dad sighed and set aside his two-by four. “Fuc- uh, friggin’ rat with wings,” he said.

“Devil’s birds,” said Grandma, wringing her hands. “Devil’s birds. Cast from the Ark, saved by the Devil’s will.”

Connor fought the urge to sigh. She wasn’t all wrong, of course. The ravens of the Ark had been cast off by Noah, but had lived by the will of Odin. Huginn and Muninn served him even now. He wondered which one had visited their dinner table.

Mom gives a shuddering sigh. “Let’s- let’s just set back up and pray once more, alright? Constance, dear, help me.”

Connor stiffened a the sound of his deadname. His friends and teachers, the ones that mattered, called him by his true name. His parents…

His parents still believed they had a daughter. Even as he cut his hair short, refused to wear dresses, and had thrown out his makeup. ‘Tomboy’ they called him, affectionately.

Sure, mom.

He’d heard what they said about people like him. How they loved them, but they were wrong and needed to be corrected.

Connor didn’t have the courage to tell them. Even with Odin as a patron. Some things were scarier than fighting giants and Draugr. Connor wondered if they could ever find the strength for that.

Honestly, they’d probably condemn him for being trans more than the pagan worship.

Instead, he bowed his head and did as he was told… for now.

-

That night, alone in his room, Connor poured over the gift the Raven had left him. A rune, a new one. Thurisaz. The Rune of the Thorn. Thor’s Rune.

Different Runes held different meanings. Different powers. Odin didn’t hold his hand. He expected him to unravel what they could do on his own.

Fine by him, Connor liked a challenge.

And apparently Odin liked a show, judging by the raven sitting on their windowsill, the light of the moon casting them in shadow.

“I’m not letting you in,” grumbled Connor.

The raven merely cocked its head and croaked, “Nevermore!”

Connor sighed. “Really?”

He swore the raven was grinning at him. “Nevermore!”

Connor glared at it. “I know you granted inspiration to Poe, now stop crowing about it!”

“Nevermore!”

Connor went back to studying the rune, tracing their hand over it as the raven watched, expectantly.

Thurisaz. Conflict. Protection. Opposition.

The Rune of Thor.

Thor… Protector of Humanity.

Thor the… the thunderer.

Connor blinked, grinned, and closed his eyes, clasping the rune in his hands. It slowly began to heat up as Connor allowed their power to flow through them. The power Odin had guided them too. Odin, who had accepted Connor. Odin, who had never judged him. Odin, who cared not who you were as long as you lived your life with valor.

The heat abruptly vanished and Connor pulled their hands apart. The rune had vanished, but the heat remained in his hands. Experimentally, he brought them together.

There was a blast of lightning that pitched him across the room, into the wall, and then sliding to the floor.

“Connie?! Is that you! Are you okay!?”

“Don’t worry honey, we’re coming!”

“Baby! Are you okay?!”

Connor looked up to the raven who still sat at his window and glared at him. “Tell Odin to go fuck himself.”

The raven laughed again, and fluttered off. Likely to do exactly that. As it did, Connor stared at the scorch marks that now decorated the far wall.

Fuck, how were they gonna explain this one?

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

I know this is a jokey post (rip OPs notes) but a fursona is typically an animal REPRESENTATION of YOURSELF, not an external animal that is strongly meaningful to you and your life/journey.

I've seen daemon and familiar proposed, but to keep in line with the cursedness of the original post, may I suggest: spiritual tamagotchi

do you have any idea how refreshing it is to see a correction/suggestion to this post that actually understands the assignment

I just found out the offspring of a goat and sheep is called a GEEP and they’re the cutest lil shits ever I want 200 of them

A baby

VS an adult

Coool as fuck they have two sets of horns

Goats are associated with Satan and lambs are associated with God.

We have created the official half demon/angel and I’m very pleased

purgoatory

@dalekaiken

having to admit you fuck with a freak must be so hard kabru. a pat on the back

cat riding sheep

lookin at the first few moments thinkin “what’s wrong with that foreleg? is it folded under the cat at a funny angle? is the cat missing half that leg? wait. no. it’s just buried up to the elbow in wool”

Fun fact. Lanolin, the oil in wool which makes it water resistant, has a scent similar to one produced by nursing mother cats which induces nursing behaviour in kittens. A lot of cats will exhibit this behaviour with wool blankets for the same reason.

The adorable behavior she is showing at the end, deep treading and pressing the flat.of her head against the sheep, rooting her nose around in the sheep’s wool, ears turned sweetly back, is STRONG kitten nursing behavior. This cat is a full adult and doing unusually Baby things. I’d say that checks out. She’s treating the sheep like Mom. Adults, even those with residual nursing behaviors, don’t often go THIS baby. I wouldn’t be surprised if the cat were actually suckling. She’s incredibly happy.

The sheep seems to be very much enjoying it as well. I loooove this.

Do rescues or vets use lanolin to help cats calm down? It seems like that might help with calming cats or helping fosters bond with new people.

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

Also if the reason you don't know is developmental , intelectual or learning disabilities making you struggle even if you've been taught a bunch of times , you are so cool and awesome too :^) [smiley face ]

seriously big shoutout to twewy and neo for being about characters who pushed others away learning to trust again.

all the playable characters are social outcasts bonding with other social outcasts that go beyond the tropes they end up subverting. none are too overly edgy (at most you can argue neku and shoka but neku’s actively poked fun at and shoka bounces off the rest of the wicked twisters so well (rindo is just socially awkward which i feel)). there’s also like. no real chosen one bullshit. rindo is arguably the closest but he was just being fucked with bc the angels felt like targeting the most detached person in the game for funsies while trying to fill some kind of moral obligation.

there really needs to be more rpg parties and characters in general that consist of people who are nothing remarkable and never get to be in a chosen one scenario but learn they can find their people.

me serving cuntlery

please guys this is the cleverest joke ive ever made

Visions s2 really went: here are four new Jedi ladies and they're beautiful and old and gentle and badass and perfect.