Pond being Pond.

Bonus, Pond also...being Pond:

There was a moment during episode 4, pretty much around this exact shot, where I started to wonder whether Jojo is maybe just a bit of a masochist for choosing to write a romantic story about two characters who constantly refuse to say or show what they’re actually feeling. 

It's hard enough pulling a romance off with one closed-off character, but oh my god. He absolutely does make it work though. I guess when your characters spend so much time putting up a mask, or even flat out lying to one another, then all of a sudden the truth can be found in the inconsistencies.

Nueng has a couple of really nice scenes with Chopper in this episode where they talk seemingly pretty openly about their lives. At one point, he directly says to Chopper that he trusts Ben (“Besides you, my cousin, he is another person I can trust”). Only, when Palm later asks Nueng the same question, he answers “I don’t know.” 

That direct contradiction is interesting, and it sort of makes me wonder whether Nueng even really trusts Chopper enough to be completely open with him about his feelings. It’s not even that Nueng is necessarily trying to lie to Chopper - just that maybe he’s putting up something of a front, because that’s just what he does. I don’t even think this contradiction implies that Nueng doesn’t like Ben, or is suspicious of Ben, necessarily. Just that he doesn’t trust him completely. Nueng has had plenty of moments of seeming emotional honesty with Ben, and they could all have been completely sincere, but Palm asks “Can he really be trusted?” and Nueng stares at him, is silent for a long, long moment, and answers with: “I’m not sure.”

So, for Ben, even if Nueng does genuinely hold good feelings towards him, there’s possibly always going to be this little voice of doubt in his head.

After expressing his doubts to Palm, Nueng goes onto talk about being able to trust in someone else’s feelings, which sort of echoes his earlier conversation with Ben where he talks about his feelings of loneliness and how unworthy he feels of loving or being loved. This feels like such a key part of who Nueng is and what drives some of the things he does. That could probably do with its own post though, because hhhh. Moving on.

There’s a moment in this episode where we actively see Nueng decide to put a mask up for Ben (and omg Phuwin’s acting... don’t get me started don’t even look at me-)

At the party, Ben and Nueng catch up once they’ve finished performing. Nueng has spent the entire time so far staring very sullenly at Palm and Maggie, and so when Ben first speaks to him, he sounds pretty cold and withdrawn still. 

It’s only when Ben jokes about carrying Nueng home that Nueng decides to rein it in a little bit. He closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, his entire demeanour has softened. He decides to give Ben what he’s looking for - he flirts, he makes some very vague promises. He... essentially treats Ben the way he’s been treating Palm this entire time, only with a lot less scolding. And a lot less intention, possibly - there’s little moments in that scene where Nueng looks so briefly unsure about how to appease Ben without actually promising too much. That never really happens with Palm. 

Ben leaves, and the second his back is turned, Nueng’s face drops once more, back to being sullen, still mad about Palm and Maggie. 

Nueng’s propensity to be closed off with the people around him extends to... honestly, everyone in Nueng’s life. Including Palm, although I’d argue that Nueng seems to trust Palm at least a more wholly than he does anyone else. Nueng even tells Palm that because they’re friends they shouldn’t lie to one another, and that he’s is easy to read (which... Nueng, oh Nueng, my sweet little summer sparrow, my precious idiot). He seems to trust that Palm, at least, is one of the infinitesimally small number of people in this world who absolutely holds no bad intentions towards him. He implies as much to Palm at the lake (”When I have you watching my back, it kind of feels good.”)

But even so, in that same scene, we see Nueng furiously dance around his jealousy over Palm and Maggie, whilst actively trying to get more information on what is actually going on between them. He acts so cooly detached and unemotional about it (much like Palm also does - AND I’LL GET TO HIM IN ANOTHER POST BC THIS IS TOO LONG I need to be stopped), but we see very clearly in the moments when Nueng is alone that that’s not the case at all.

But maybe that’s less of a trust thing and more of a ‘I think I have feelings for my hot bodyguard who I definitely would not be allowed to date and who might literally be dating someone else anyway’ thing.

(Part Two: Palm)

via ppnaravit_home

How do you smell, Pond? I want a sniff.

him face

Tongue! I see tongue!!!

@scandiflubdubs Sorry, I forgot to answer. 😅

Personally, I think that when Nueng says that he will come back next year to meet a hostel owner, it means he is agreeing to go abroad to study, like Palm encouraged him, and then come back. And the speech about how Palm doesn't need to prove himself means that even if Palm fails to be a successful man who can provide for and take care of Nueng financially, it wouldn't matter.

"Okay, I will go do my thing, and I believe that you will be successful with your own thing. I will come back to you soon, and while I believe that you are very capable, if you indeed fail, don't worry. You are and will always be great in my eyes."

Something like that.

I don't think there is any significant information that lost in translation in that scene.

Thank you for answering my question. I really thought or more of a hope that the rumour was true 5555.

Since this bummed me again against the reality that Nueng might really leave for a year abroad. I just thought they have been through a lot in the short span they know each other and another separation won’t break them but still… I just want them to enjoy their time together. I thought they want to be together. Nueng did say that he wants a life where there’s Palm in it.

Thanks @recentadultburnout 💜

@scandiflubdubs 55555555555 It really depends on each person's personal interpretation.

The subtitle didn't miss anything matter, really. So if your interpretation of that scene is that Nueng chose to stay, then that is valid too. Nueng didn't state anything outright anyway.

I do like my own interpretation (kinda glad that they don't have a separation issue or anything like that), so I might interpret it that way because of my own bias.🤣

I think how Nueng doesn't have to miss out on anything he told Palm he wanted for the sake of being with Palm might help calm Palm down.

Plus, both of them are young—not even 20 yet—so a year is just a short time compared to what they can have together after.😆

I am a Japanese dorama fans so I know how well they use this trope in jdorama. Nothung will stop you achieve your own excellence, not even romance. Love seems always can wait in jdorama. They will pursue their dream ä, moved abroad for number of years and then back. Expecting there will be some thing left from the past relationship.

I dont mind being independent and living for yourself, but many times I just feel, in my old age 5555, love is worth it too. To fight for it, not just career and work.

So I know they’re young and a year would not matter much especially now that they know their feeling is strong enough to withstand all the obstacles, including from their own sabotage. I just feel they need to slow down and building their relationship more. Palm needs a lot of work as well to tear down the money pride as well. Always feel like he shouldnt depend on Nueng financially in that matter. Nobody said he should but in relationship it is okay to share as well. It is not taking advantage to share. But he needs to unlearn what he is taught by life in his 18 years of life.

Thank you so much for the explanation and your own opinion as well.

@scandiflubdubs Sorry, I forgot to answer. 😅

Personally, I think that when Nueng says that he will come back next year to meet a hostel owner, it means he is agreeing to go abroad to study, like Palm encouraged him, and then come back. And the speech about how Palm doesn't need to prove himself means that even if Palm fails to be a successful man who can provide for and take care of Nueng financially, it wouldn't matter.

"Okay, I will go do my thing, and I believe that you will be successful with your own thing. I will come back to you soon, and while I believe that you are very capable, if you indeed fail, don't worry. You are and will always be great in my eyes."

Something like that.

I don't think there is any significant information that lost in translation in that scene.

Thank you for answering my question. I really thought or more of a hope that the rumour was true 5555.

Since this bummed me again against the reality that Nueng might really leave for a year abroad. I just thought they have been through a lot in the short span they know each other and another separation won’t break them but still… I just want them to enjoy their time together. I thought they want to be together. Nueng did say that he wants a life where there’s Palm in it.

Thanks @recentadultburnout 💜

I love u Safe House S1

nuengdiao’s top 5 dramatic gay moments:

I’m genuinely so fascinated by Never Let Me Go REFUSING to just conveniently hand wave away the incredible power imbalance between Nueng and Palm. In fact, the show only continues to reinforce the point over and over.

If episode four started at a point where Palm and Nueng are acting maybe a little more comfortably with one another, then the end of episode four reminds us that it’s not real, and episode five reiterates that point in almost every single scene. So many shows would have been high-key pretending an imbalance never even existed by now, or like it doesn’t need to exist between the characters in the world of the show. NLMG, on the other hand, is drilling it into our brains that it can’t just conveniently disappear. Even if they want it to.

And as far as the show is concerned, Palm and Nueng not wanting the imbalance to exist between them is not enough to make it magically disappear. Even their attempts to pretend it doesn’t exist have been doomed to fail, by the very nature of where they are and who they are. Nueng tried to naively lure Palm into treating him more casually, and Palm a little less but still naively got more comfortable - but of course it didn’t work. It’s not rooted in their realities (as every single person around them will always pop up to remind them). They’re both trapped in it.

I feel as though Nueng being made to witness the way Chanon speaks to Palm about his job probably informed a lot of how Nueng behaved for the first half of episode five. It served as a reminder that no one had directly given him, but that Palm has been hearing constantly, that Palm’s loyalty is (supposedly) something that has been purchased for a price, rather than offered freely.

I feel like the first part of this episode was the two of them trying to settle back into a more typical relationship. Palm had a brutal reminder of his place by Nueng at the end of episode four. Nueng in turn had his own reminder by Palm and Chanon at the beginning of episode five. They’re both more aware than ever of how they should treat one another.

It’s just that in attempting to act the way they should, they ended up also failing - because ultimately, their feelings for one another don’t actually fit into the structure that has been defined for them. They’re both trapped by their own positions, and those feelings only complicate that. It’s only when they’re by themselves that they’re offered any real freedom from any of it.

(And even then, again, as this show keeps reminding us, that freedom is so so limited.)

This man has never felt embarrassed in his life it's honestly a skill.

I think after seeing him in Safe House, nothing he does after really surprise me anymore. But, keep it coming. I love that he is being real as himself. I saw some tweet few days a go on how he was having hard time last summer. His twitter became very somber, and everybody came to the rescue. Since he was not his usual goofy self. Everyone offered him solace, food, time, it was heart warming. I hope he is in better place, and enjoying his life. I love watching him being silly.

I've written that Nuengdiao has grown into the (mafia) boss his parents wanted him to be, but I haven't fully appreciated how much Nueng AND Palm have grown around and because of each other.

And it cumulates around the drinking scenes:

The drinking scene at the dance resulted in a kiss in the next episode, then they had to run away. The next drinking scene resulted in them becoming boyfriends, then Mam' debtors showed up. The final drinking scene resulted in shared "I love yous," then Nueng left.

Hira and Kiyoi from My Beautiful Man 2 reminded me of something I noticed in Never Let Me Go - positioning of dominance.

Nueng and Palm are mostly seen as equal in scenes even with their tiny height difference. However, there are times when Nueng clearly is in the position of power.

Nueng tries to eliminate this power dynamic by bending down or demanding that Palm rise

But with others, he maintains that power imbalance

Yet once again, this power that Nueng has is natural to his and Palm's relationship because at its core, it's a relationship between a rich kid and his bodyguard. It exists regardless if Nueng wants it to or not, mostly with Palm.

Palm, even though he loves Nueng, still views him as a man to be revered. Palm inherently looks up to Nueng, figuratively and literally, and must maintain that order. There is only one time that Palm has allowed himself to hold power of Nueng, and that was when he was upset.

But when it comes down to it, Palm will always lower himself for Nueng. When he has a chance to exhibit power over Nueng when Nueng is out of his element or lost in his emotions...

He lowers himself and helps Nueng. Each and every time. Even in his grief, Palm tells Nueng to shower first. Palm worries about Nueng, even in the aftermath of his mother dying in front of him.

But Nueng has learned to do the same.

He understands that to truly help Palm, he can't command Palm's compliance. He must lower himself. He must show Palm that he cherishes Palm just as Palm admires him. He must take care of Palm in all the ways Palm has taken care of him.

*back to the drinking scenes*

Nueng doesn't want Palm to drink, but he won't demand that he doesn't. He won't order Palm to stay sober. Instead, he lowers himself and tells him he'll be there, not as a burden, but as a comfort. He is learning how to shape his power into a tool of love rather than dominance.

Palm, a boy who always lowers himself to show his love, told Nueng "no" without hesitation. He didn't leave it up for debate. He took the drink from Nueng, reminded him of the consequences, and told him he couldn't drink because he worries for Nueng. Palm is learning to shape his love into a tool of power instead of submission.

Both boys are learning and growing from each other and their mistakes. Both boys are learning they can't continue to treat each other the ways their parents treated them. Nueng's parents taught him that love was authoritative, while Palm's parents taught him that love was a weakness. These boys are learning that to love each other, they must see love as a gift of strength within themselves, not as a weapon to be used against someone.

Because the last time they tried to maintain the ways they exhibit love and power, it hurt them both.

Their love has made them stronger.

Even though the boys are separated, the lesson they have learned from each other will still resonate, and because of that, Palm will, hopefully, find the strength to say "No" just like he did on the beach when he saw Nueng close to hurting himself.

Because they are no longer a rich boy and his bodyguard. They are friends. They are family. They are soulmates. They are equal. They are powerful.

it's the leg crossing in the last one for me tbh.

just watched some of the episode few days ago, and I have to admit I missed many of their interactions since some ep can last 6 hours. So please please please make more GIF of their Safe House moments.