Where I Send My Fictional Boyfriends To Die

Can we have like a darkly romantic fanfic moment where you teach me to waltz but the implied power dynamics lend a sinister aura to the whole ordeal

If you ask a they/them with dyed hair what their favorite thing to read is... Are you really going to act surprised when I say fairy porn?

~My application letter to every book store ever...

Would you like to take advantage of my unfullfilled need for authority figure approval

this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it

clicker training but its just a single piano key that makes you sad

couple’s t-shirt idea

I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

i never understood why baiting someone into getting emotional enough to screw up was considered such an effective strategy and also one of the most underhanded things you could do in any kind of competitive or combative scenario when i was younger, but now i'm an adult entirely responsible for my own actions i get it. every day i face situations that turn my internal landscape into an active hostage negotiation at gunpoint.

*opens the oven after preheating to 400*

This is Margaret when she opens that email

Ao3 subscriptions are so fucking wild to me. Every time I write my silly fanfictions and post them 124 people get an email just to let them know that this idiot is posting their fanfictions again. I send 124 people an email every time I write smut. Imagine sending 124 physical letters out just to be like “hello everyone, I put some guys we made up in our heads through the horrors again.” Absolutely absurd. I am kissing all of you on the lips.

Cozy croaker.

Pebble content no one asked for