Education, Respect, Order

greatkingofthewest​:

    The door was closed behind him, and while Luzifer could have wondered if it was safe to leave Gupta’s precious books unguarded, his thoughts were circling around a completely different topic. Right. His spontaneous decision had not left any time for them to ask Gupta for his consent on the matter. What if he was busy? What if he had no room, or no time to spare for a largely bedridden street mutt? Luzifer found it difficult to imagine Gupta turning them away, but even so - it wasn’t like he was really given a choice, was he? And wasn’t it insanely rude to just show up here and make himself at home? 

  The tremor that ran through Luzifer’s body had nothing to do with the cold. He glanced back at Paimon, but did not follow his request to sit down. “I know.” What was he, a child? To Paimon, it surely had to seem so. Scared and helpless and dependent on another’s guidance and protection. He had even requested another babysitter in the absence of his usual one, because he could not stand the thought of being by himself. Suddenly, Luzifer wished he had stayed behind at the hideout after all.

  “Here it is.” Gupta had returned. In his hands, he was holding a small box with pink stripes and black letters that spelt out a word Luzifer had never heard or read before. Still, he accepted the box. As Gupta stepped away from him, his dark green eyes were still scanning Luzifer’s features.

  “You find me a little surprised, I’ll be honest. Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”, he asked, now finally turning his attention toward Paimon, who was standing by the small kitchen. Before that one could answer, however, Luzifer raised his voice. His spine straightened, and he tried to speak with as much confidence as possible. It was a voice he had not used in forever. That he was still capable of using it surprised him.

  “You are right, I should be.” Luzifer nodded. “And I’m really sorry to bother you without notice, but I… I have a request to make.” He took a deep breath.

  “Paimon is going to be busy for a few days, and I’m not trusting myself to stay alone while he is gone. So please– if it’s not too much trouble”, he added quickly, and with some dismay, “…could I stay here? …with you? I promise I will try not to be a burden. You won’t even notice me. You have already done so much for me, I know, so if my health picks up again I will pay you back in whatever way I can, I swear.”

If he was honest, it was a great relief that Luzifer had taken the initiative here and asked. Paimon wasn’t used to having to ask much of Gupta or anyone. Especially when it wasn’t strictly business, he hesitated to ask at all. He didn’t tend to do much that required extensive outside assistance, anyhow. Luzifer taking the fall for this was much easier than having to form the words of weakness himself.

… Wasn’t that what Luzifer struggled with, though? The overwhelming weakness that caused him to rely on others for almost everything in his life. The chains of reliance chaffing him to the point where he would push himself to do something too heavy just to escape that feeling. He understood that drive for self reliance.

“Three days.” Paimon confirmed. Looking away from the bag of sugar he had set on the counter, he steeled himself a little. “If you would accept the request.”

He didn’t think he needed to say that he would be handsomely compensated.

greatkingofthewest​:

  The familiar whistling of wind chimes welcomed them inside. Luzifer’s gaze instantly fell upon the frame of a young woman standing by one of the bookshelves nearby. She had short hair, a pale complexion, and was wearing a green wool coat and a thick scarf that could not entirely hide the scar tissue creeping up the left side of her neck. As the two men entered, she flinched a little, almost dropping the book she had taken from the shelf but catching herself just in time. Luzifer marched past her as quickly as his cold legs would allow. He could feel the weight of her gaze against his sunken cheeks. After spending one day at the doctor’s office with Gupta and another dozing in the backroom on his couch, he had almost forgotten that the shop actually welcomed visitors from outside quite frequently. The sudden realisation made him nervous. Aside from Paimon, the doctor and Gupta himself, Luzifer had not spoken to single soul in what felt like a lifetime. Not that he had ever been a sociable person.

  “Merhaba, friends.” Gupta had stepped out from between another row of book shelves. It was obvious that he had not expected the two of them. “How may I help you to–” His movement slowed, his otherwise so stoic features betraying just a hint of surprise. Perhaps he had thought that Paimon would come by himself to pick up the medicine, not drag a sick man out of hiding just so he would not have to make the trip alone. His dark eyes scanned Luzifer’s features from head to toe, and although it was kind of uncomfortable, Luzifer noticed that it did not bother him as much as it should have. Gupta simply gave off the vibe of the least judgemental person on planet earth.

  “You are here for your delivery, right?”, the librarian asked, with a nod towards the both of them. “Come on in, I have got it in the back.” He gestured towards the door behind his shop counter. “You have a look around, Ines, I will be with you in a minute.”

Ah, another person. While Paimon was keenly aware that this was a place of business under his protection that did as well as a bookshop could really be expected to do, he had felt too at ease with their previous luck bringing Luzifer into an empty store. This was far more tedious to have anyone see that he did more here than make a simple appearance. No matter if it was a regular or not, knowledge was dangerous for the lot of them.

Keen to not increase Luzifer’s interactions, Paimon walked between him and the stranger to help usher his charge directly into the back of the store. He wasn’t sure how to approach this request and, to be completely honest, he had made it much more of a situational demand than a request by just showing up with him the next day.

Once they were safely in the back, Paimon gestured for Luzifer to go rest. “You’ll need to take This medicine regularly.” He said as he pulled a bag from his pack to set on Gupta’s counter with no further comment.

greatkingofthewest​:

  Winter was done holding back. If riding Paimon’s motorcycle had been uncomfortable before, it almost bordered on unbearable now. No matter how small Luzifer attempted to make himself, the icy wind whipping against his bare face had his eyes water and his tears freeze over before they had even turned to leave the neighbourhood. If not for the broad man shielding the back of his body from the cold, arms on either side of him gripping the handles of the bike, Luzifer would have likely fallen off his seat at some point or the other. At least Paimon had his balaklava to protect himself with. In compare, Luzifer felt incredibly exposed - not only to the elements, but also to the stern shop guards watching him with obvious suspicion while they stopped for Pai to buy god knows what.

  Needless to say, when the familiar building of the library finally came into view, Luzifer felt the weight of a gigantic ice block falling from his shoulders. Despite the generous amount of clothes Paimon had given him, he was shivering. Climbing off the bike proved difficult but possible, especially with a waiting arm there to steady him. Luzifer did not grasp Paimon’s hand, although his stiff fingers might have been warmer for it. The image of a fragile maiden being helped down from a horse by her noble companion irked him.

  His eyes fell upon the house. The last two times he had been here, he had either been delirious and feverish, or too nervous to have a proper look around. Two windows by the side of the building had been barred with wooden planks and metal shutters spray painted with bright neon letters. Luzifer faintly remembered Gupta telling him that some vandals had broken into the shop years ago. If not for Paimon’s intervention, they likely would have left nothing but a big mess of toppled shelves and torn pages throughout the entire library. Luzifer wished he could claim to be confused about this sort of behaviour, but alas, he was not. People were simply terrible. Especially the suffering ones. They couldn’t stand to see anybody better off than them, even if only in their warped perception of the situation. The put down others in order to feel bigger. And didn’t he know the sort?

  Anyway. It was too cold outside to dwell on such things, and the intact window by the front of the shop was giving off a welcome glow. Luzifer quickly made to follow Paimon inside.

Paimon idly realized upon opening the door to the warmth flooding out, that he had not even cracked that self help book before ending up back here in shame. At least Luzifer’s medicine would be here so that he could get better while Paimon made the world a worse place to be in. He hoped that Gupta would gracefully not mention any of it but he doubted he would be given that benefit.

“We are back.” He announced firmly as he stomped the remaining wetness from his boots on the matt, stepping aside to get Luzifer’s frozen self further inside.

greatkingofthewest​:

  A radio would have been nice. The thought popped into his head out of nowhere, a remnant of memories too distant and obscured to properly place them in any time or space. But radios had been a thing, Luzifer was very sure of it. Music playing in the distance, at the mall or in the car, disembodied voices blabbering on about pointless things like the weather before being cut off by yet another obnoxious jingle advertising a sale at some random department store. Of course, nowadays there weren’t any malls or department stores to speak of, really. Not in this part of the world, anyway. Even the weather seemed to be less interesting than it used to be, and the thought of somebody still out there making money by composing and selling music was laughable. So what on earth would a radio channel even broadcast? And what kind of music would there be? Somehow, Luzifer found it difficult to remember any song he had ever heard before he had taken up residence near the booming night club. Not that monotonous booming really counted as music.

  The topic occupied his mind so much that Luzifer barely noticed Paimon standing by the door already until he spoke up. “Hm?” He blinked.

  Ready? Ready for wha-- ah. Right.

  He pushed himself up to stand, the small bag he had stolen from the other’s closet slung over his shoulder much like Paimon’s rifle. Well then. Maybe Gupta could tell him more about what happened in the outside world. Maybe he even knew a song or two.

Where had he purchased that bag, he wondered briefly as he opened the door for Luzifer to pass through. Small, cloth, cross body strap... Ah, he hadn’t purchased it at all. That had held computer chips at some point, wrapped in layers of rags. A man had carried it. A man that met a short end due to them, he remembered. Not by his own hand, for once, but by someone he was briefly employed by to ferry the precious technological junk across an unforgiving country. They hadn’t cared about the bag once he was done so he just ended up never taking it off until he got home. Odd that he still had it.

Then again, through another’s eyes, he may look like a hoarder. Did Luzifer think that when he saw how much Paimon had accumulated here? At least, as much as he had seen.

Locking the door behind them, he locked that thought away as well. It was time to get Luzifer to Gupta’s. It would be warm there. It would be good for him to interact with someone like the stubborn and warm librarian, wouldn’t it? Much better than spending endless hours with a man that couldn’t stop himself from making mistake after mistake. Someone he could look at without thinking about his former life--

Paimon clenched his jaw as they traversed the traps along the way down the stairs. Luzifer was getting better at remembering the many patterns that dictated a safe passage and losing an ankle. Good. Or was it, a voice mocked quietly in his ear. No matter what Luzifer said, he surely didn’t want to stay here. Not once he could stand on his own two feet. There would be no reason to. Paimon was a raw nerve, a formless mass of need wrapped in leather and steel.

The breath that left him was slow and controlled as he locked up the final door and turned to get them to his bike. It was going to be a cold and icy ride today. Hopefully Luzifer would be warm enough up front. It was safer there, even if the wind would reach him a little more. Better than getting shot.

They made it to Gupta’s with only a single, quick stop along the way where he had Luzifer wait on the bike surrounded by the shop’s guards that were incredibly no nonsense. It was a surprisingly safe place due to the extremely expensive nature of the goods to be bartered for through the small window. Pulling up right to the door, Paimon offered his hand for Luzifer to steady himself.

Me every time I write

I’m glad to see that this resonated with so many people

“In every way that counted, I was dead. Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and weeping and howling like an animal, but that was another person deep inside, another person who had no access to the lips and face and mouth and head, so on the surface I just shrugged and smile and kept moving. If I could have physically passed away, just let it all go, like that, without doing anything, stepped out of life as easily as walking through a door I would have done. But I was going to sleep at night and waking in the morning, disappointed to be there and resigned to existence.” - Neil Gaiman, Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders