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“if it’s out of context and Batman, it’s you.”

@helplesslynerdy / helplesslynerdy.tumblr.com

helplesslynerdy. old by tumblr standards. will be in school forever. she/her and neutral good. fanfic also on AO3.
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Do you think Clark Kent had to be formula fed.

And do you think, for a moment, Martha Kent realized she was in over her head.

An alien baby, a canister of formula from the closest shop that she’s not even sure he can eat.

She’s just holding him in front of her with the bottle in one hand and his neck propped up in the other. He’s screaming his head off and she knows he’s hungry but she can’t bring herself to give it to him. She doesn’t know what he is, what will kill him. She may have met this baby maybe a couple hours ago but she’s already decided to protect him with her life.

Jonathan’s out in the shed trying to find any of the old baby clothes and pacifiers they were gifted while they were trying at least half a decade ago; Martha’s pretty sure she threw them all away the second the doctor broke the news.

She realizes that if they do actually do this it’s not going to be easy, and it’s actually going to be quite terrifying. They will always be waiting for that phone call, that knock on the door. From this point forward strangers and outsiders who come sniffin’ for one reason or another will terrify them.

She wonders if they’ll tell him how they actually came to be his parents, or let him live in blissful ignorance.

She counts down to three in her head. And gives him the bottle.

He drinks it happily; perfectly fine.

She can’t remember when she started holding her breath.

A loose curl of his blacker than black hair falls onto his forehead and covers his bluer than blue eyes. She brushes it away and he grabs her fingers with a grip stronger than she thought it’d be. It makes her bark out a laugh.

Something with those pudgy cheeks and that gummy smile can’t be all that terrifying.

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peak damian and batfamily interaction is him using overly formal vocabulary and syntax AT ALL. TIMES. he will never not be proper. even a few years into living at the manor and with all the colorful dialogue styles there, he still talks like he’s 53 and some sort of medieval noble. this is especially funnier whenever he has any sort of normal familial interaction. like:

damian: todd i have come to make a request of you.

jason: what?

damian: i was hoping you’d acquiesce to my demands of having you read me your favorite book while i prepare for slumber.(liked he used to when damian was a baby)

jason: you want me. to read you a bedtime story??

damian: tt. of course not. you reading the book and me preparing for bed are entirely coincidental. i just desire to hear your interpretation of the authors message and the voices you use when narrating.

jason: ….sure, kiddo. go brush your teeth and i’ll be there.

damian: thank you. i shall see you in my chambers.

bonus points for entirely monotone delivery like see this shit just makes me go off it’s so funny

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from the stories dick tells people about his little brother, everyone expects him to be this loving, sweet little guy, with a little bit of a mischievous streak. dick tells them he's a little shy but when he warms up to you he's the best.

but then people meet this little ankle-biter gremlin who's targeting death threats towards anyone who will listen. and everyone's completely taken aback, like "THIS is damian???"

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My Neighbor Batman

The challenge was to draw characters in a different style

I drew these for Guess That Artist event in dpxdc server im in >w< I animated it too! But didn't show the animation in the event because I knew it would rat me out XDDD Actually gives me an idea of like ;w; baby dick and jason being taken in. T o T I also made the cape wrap around Jason protectively. And then that's a moped I hand/digitally painted in the bg.. not a car. its too small XD

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