Joseph's Great and Tiny Tower Tumbl(e)

@teenylittleparadigmshift / teenylittleparadigmshift.tumblr.com

They bumped their head. Hey, did anyone else find that sing-song "It's Raining, It's Pouring" rhyme disturbing or...?
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To do still:

- some groceries (a couple half-chicken grillers on sale for about two bucks each, cherries because they're less than two bucks a pound and I'm still doing green smoothies for breakfasts) - actually plan/write down stuff for the week in a very easily visible place since I won't have the usual routines to follow - probably the coffee table if I can trust our feline progeny not to knock things onto it - I'm missing a thing. GARBAGE. Trash. I need to put the trash out. I suspect though that bumblebae will end up doing that while I make dinner. - not be a dweeb about bumblebae being gone for a week no sir-ma'am-otherwise OH. And coconut milk. I didn't think I'd made adobo that often since it was last on sale but somehow we're out. Thank you Trader Joe's for making it adorable when there's not a sale, since one can means a major part of a meal that feeds two people for dinner plus tomorrow's lunch.

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DONE TODAY:

- rule from yesterday that's becoming a really useful new standard to avoid dehydration: if the hose gets used for plants I need to drink from it too. Every time. - pulled the pine straw out of the car and used it and the paper bags and the found roofing tiles from earlier in the season to line and mat another stretch of the wheelbarrow path - used some pine straw to also mulch the strawberries now that I've pulled most of the ridge grass - I NEED to find a replacement to seed so the grasshoppers have somewhere to be, or else I need to just let the weeds grow back - thinned out the tall grass and ragweed in the pollinator meadow stretch - left any ragweed that was close to flowering and tried to only pull grass that was the oversized and sparse kind but zoned out a few times and got some of the important matted stuff too, shit, sorry bug friends - mixed the bee seeds packet freebie from the garden center into some dry dirt and seeded throughout that stretch and watered rain-style with the hose - sorry again to the bug friends I know they weren't expecting it but hopefully everyone came back later to finish collecting and eating - seeded a fall harvest round of every pea I have seeds left for, mostly around the milkweed and the comfrey/raspberry cane ridge (and stinging nettle still again, sonofabitch), marked with tear-offs from the seed packets stabbed through with sticks because by then it had been an hour plus in ninety plus degrees - seeded cucumber bush and green beans, also bush kinds, around the upper field in sun, then hit rain-style with the hose - seeded a mix of kale, spinach, (both different varieties thank you dollar/discount stores) and...what was it, something else - BROCCOLI RAAB, because it had a short growing season, through any shady places I could find, so mostly the same places I put the peas, which works out because they use a lot of nitrogen and the peas fix nitrogen back into the soil from the air - used a bucket and watering can to drain the pulled-comfrey-compost-tea bucket (oh god the smell, the site that recommended it was not kidding about that) and consequently nipped a generation of mosquitos in the bud (which I feel a little bad for even though I shouldn't) and used it to fertilize the new seeds, the elderberry bushes, and the tomatoes and carrots/"ancient grains" - hit the tomatoes, carrots, grains and squash with some hose-rain too - tried burying some leftover calendula seeds in the comfrey ridge - hopefully they'll germinate, grow into fall, and self-sow where they're at for pollinator but also wedding and general happiness purposes -I'm missing something and I don't know what - took a break, then tried to write out options for meals for the week the bumblebae's gone so I don't have to think too hard about it -- I think I can actually make a huge batch of rice tonight and freeze portions I can heat again to cut back on how many times I have to immediately wash the rice cooker or not be able to go through with a planned meal - planned a couple of friend times including one with @nouveauqueer that gives me an excuse to make broth and a large batch of a scratch sauce that you really need an excuse to make, which can all be canned for using again without having to do the work. Yaaaaay.

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Posting again on the heels of a regular finances checkup (double checking which day the SSDI comes in, paying a credit card bill, seeing what's left in the account to work with in between - $11 btw, until Wednesday when I'll have my monthly $889, for full transparency, $640 of which goes immediately to bumblebae's account for part of rent, last year's unexpected car loan, and the loan we'd taken out prior to that to consolidate debt and be GOOD FINANCIAL CITIZENS, $50 to internet, $40 to next month's repeat of the same credit card I just paid today, $100 to the other credit card that was used for medical expenses we didn't realize would continue the way they did, and that should leave $60 for my own medications (luckily only about $9) and any gas and groceries bumblebae isn't around to pay for. Why am I being so out there about my personal finances? Because this is what it looks like when you end up unexpectedly disabled through a work incident after doing high needs, low pay work, a year and a half of which was on a specifically-poverty-level "living stipend" to serve the country through a government program. And even still? I'm in a better place financially than folks who were working minimum wage and experienced the same thing, or folks on SSI versus SSDI, which is a lower amount than I get right now and not tied to work history. I'm in a better place than someone not sharing expenses with a partner who has to find a way to make that amount work on their own. So yeah, this wasn't intended to be that kind of sharing, but I guess what was supposed to be a quiet check-in with the link ended up angry and political and tired anyway. Whoops. But, I now have work gloves and three elderberry bushes that I didn't before, and got a great big summer squash out of the field with more coming, probably by next week. So I appreciate immensely everyone following along on this adventure.

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Note to self:

For a fall harvest this year, try again with the cucumbers, peas, spinach, bush beans if any of those are left; put even small stick fence around everything if money doesn't come in for dear netting; sow the pollinator mix among the mint. I'm forgetting something but I don't know what.

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One of a few from today! Check out the channel, sorry for all the motion, it might be rough if you easily get motion-sick. Some shoveling tips too. Cut out like a brownie!

You can support me in making more of these, getting, uh, a better way to film things, like a harness or something? And also gloves that fit, etc., via the GoFundMe. Either way, Iā€™m just going to keep putting up content for free, but anything helps.

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antdonut

Keeping this stretch meadow for pollinators. Ignore my allergy sniffling, itā€™s haying season. Also I might have gotten sweat on the lens or dust from when I dropped it at the DMV this morning, my bad.

I need to adjust which blog things post to on instagram....

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Sorry for the weird posting habits but!

Sometimes I have brain for tumblr as opposed to not, or sometimes I donā€™t have brain for anything but sitting on the couch and posting (but not browsing) is what I do to keep from being bored.Ā 

But I just wanted to put out there that I know this is a shift in the blog focus too, and that Iā€™m open to questions about the TBI but now also about the self-sufficiency and land stuff and also bees. Etc. Etc.

Jo(e) out.

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ANONYMOUS PDA MEME

šŸ’–: i have a romantic crush on you!
šŸ’œ: i want to make sure youā€™re happy
šŸ’™: i have a friend crush on you!
šŸ’š: im a little jealous of you
šŸ’›: i just think youā€™re cute!
šŸ’˜: i wouldnt say no to a platonic marriage
šŸ‘€: im too shy to talk to you
šŸ’—: i want to give you a hug!
šŸ’‹: i want to kiss you!
šŸ’Ŗ: id fight someone if they talked shit about you
šŸ”Š: im really glad i started following you!
šŸ’¬: we should talk more!
šŸ’­: i think about you a lot
šŸ‘: everything you say is great wtfā€¦
šŸŽ§: you have excellent music taste!
šŸ‘‘: your blog aesthetic is lovely!
šŸšØ: you intimidate me
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Whoops...Catches Up With You

So in mild enough weather I drive down with my fiance to his job, get some things done on the land a few minutes away, and take naps in the parking lot in between until itā€™s time to go home. Saves gas, saves brain - otherwise Iā€™m driving just over half an hour each way, multiple times, if I use the car or go home for those breaks. It wears the brain down pretty fast though you donā€™t notice it right away.

So Iā€™d been doing that lately but itā€™s been too hot to sleep in the car. And besides that, weā€™re in the full swing of the season and thereā€™s a lot to do and...I guess, uh, that the phone alarm doesnā€™t work if you canā€™t hear it. It was getting too hot to wear the headphones - usually the alarm interrupts the music Iā€™m working to - which means the phone gets set down somewhere instead if not in my pocket.

And you know how it is, you do one task and realize mid-way that something else needs to be done, or you finish pulling one set of weeds and you know you SHOULD stop but if you just got that once other set it would do so much good. Or you just lose track of time completely, which has been more of whatā€™s been happening, and before you know if youā€™re feeling really offĀ and having a harder time picking out one plant from another or actually getting the shears around the branches and you fumble to the car and find out itā€™s been three hours and itā€™s ninety degrees and you havenā€™t hydrated.

SO. I have to adjust the amount of time Iā€™m down there. Which sucks because I love BEING there, and it makes me feel like Iā€™m doing something with my time, and because it means I get to hang out at my fianceā€™s job and chill and make faces at him now and then. I get autonomy because I have the car, I can go run errands if I need to, etc. I can do things that arenā€™t all planned. Which is part of what gets me into the mess of brain-burn to begin with.

So itā€™s going to be a weird adjustment period, where I need to set myself up to only be on the land three days, maybe four, a week. Which means I need to rethink my systems to make sure that Iā€™m giving everything what it needs even when Iā€™m not there. Which does mean some financial investment, more, again, which canā€™t happen until we have the money for it, but you know what, itā€™s a little easier to justify investing when I know now how much itā€™s necessary.

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These videos started as a way to take notes for myself on the field in as quick and low-brain a way as possible. Then it turned into a way to share what I was doing. It should be noted that Iā€™m still learning. A lot. Iā€™m an amateur. But if you want to ā€œfarm alongā€ with me, youā€™re invited to the third an acre Iā€™ll be on for the next few years trying to grow enough to feed us and save some bees.

You can also see us short-form on Instagram, and if you want to help support what we do, check out our GoFundMe for getting our footing stable or our Wishlistr, our alternative to an Amazon wishlist what with our increasing awareness of Amazonā€™s gross abuse of their workers..

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I put this together like it was someone elseā€™s grant application and honestly? Iā€™m so proud of myself for being able to be this thorough. Itā€™s like a little bit of my brain remembered something I didnā€™t know it still remembered.Ā 

So Iā€™m poking my head back over while I maintain the balance of health to show this off just a little. Not the debt part. Thatā€™s a very real thing but not one Iā€™m bragging about. Iā€™m just feeling good about having been able to string together all these details, regardless of how long it took or how much it took out of me!Ā 

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It was VERY. VERY. LOUD today. Even the headphones didn't muffle it, I had to turn the Mountain Goats on to drown out the busy-ness background noise. But! After a few pages of chicken scratch process thoughts I got out a thing for a potential thing-to-keep-me-busy that will also be potentially helpful for me later. As for the job front...applied for a bunch of things that were theoretically within my limits/function level, heard back from a couple, waiting on an interview for one. But also had a serious discussion with the fiance in which he told me that he also really wants me to be able to focus on my writing (short stack of picture book manuscripts in the works), and that he'd absolutely support me not getting a job and doing that instead. I get nervous not financially contributing more than SSDI. But I've at least come to understated and accept that, yes, even when I'm not very functional some days, I still contribute a lot to the household that isn't financial and should also learn to be ok with that, too.

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Second summer (aka that random week or two of September when New England suddenly goes back to eighty-plus-degree daytime temp) means some days this is my view for hours at a time. But! If you also have problems overheating, at least I can offer a couple of tips that may help? (I'm not that kind of medical professional and these are just things that have worked for me after consulting with mine. But they might be something worth bringing to yours, too, or give you another option if you're really in a pinch and are trying anything and everything - been there, and hope this might alleviate some of that.) 1. Don't just drink water. Turns out I sweat more salt than average and drinking water was making it worse. Other things I've had instead that meant I could be at least minimally functional on hot days instead of sobbing, knotted up with heat cramps, laying in the air conditioning in between cool baths: - sports drinks (like Gatorade, Powerade, etc) - those new hydration/energy tablets to dissolve in water (like Nuun brand) - similar hydration mixes you can find near the protein powders in health aisles - water with a little salt (when I'm short on funds or find myself dehydrating unexpectedly, like this morning, this is my go-to -- adding honey can help the flavor) - coconut water I've also heard watermelon, aloe, or cucumber water/juice is really hydrating, but I haven't done those myself. I've also been very tempted to go for Pedialyte but never could get past the flavor being grape... If sports drinks are your thing - I have to do sugar free ones because of a family diabetes history - check your supermarkets, Target, and CVS right now for sales so you can stock up. At one point I was hitting sales every week where big bottles were around sixty cents a pop, and when you have to drink these daily that's hella helpful. I go back and forth between these and the Nuun tablets - on sale they're five dollars at Target for a tube of six - just for portability's sake (I was keeping a tube on me at all times). Then it was because there were better flavors...but I found I needed two a day some days, and you can't buy them with food stamps because they're considered a supplement, not a drink. Right now I'm just sticking with flavoring salt water because I'm really lazy and...really sick of choosing between flavors like Red and Blue, and coconut water is pricey. 2. Frozen washcloths and ice packs can be helpful, but they can cool you off even quicker in some spots versus others. The forehead didn't do me any favors, but spots that did: - under the arms (yep, right in your pits) - behind your knees - back of your neck 3. Lastly, this may only have been a placebo effect. But it's been most helpful for me to go in this order with shower/baths: Start with just cooler than room temp to avoid shocking myself. Work down to cold to help cool me off. After awhile with cold, when I'm no longer feeling sick or cramped, work back up to somewhere between warm and hot. When I do this it not only helps me get to a safer body temp, but once I'm feeling less awful, chasing it with something hotter makes everything else feel cool when I get out of the bath or shower. Don't go too hot though! You don't want to completely undo the effects of cooling off! So that's your update, from the bathtub. I'm gonna go chase this with some saltwater and honey and sit in front of the air conditioner... OH! AND ONE MOE THING- if you have a difficult time with judging things like temperature or safety, that's ok! Have someone help you, or find a thermometer - the sort for your mouth, something from the kitchen, I've even used our meat thermometer - to make sure your bath isn't going to burn you! I know it can be hard to take those extra steps, but it's better to be sure of your safety than accidentally boil yourself!

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New approach, not as PRETTY, but definitely practical. My biggest goal-setting problem is that I tend to set goals too high, and try to do too many things in a day. I'd say it's like I think I never had a head injury the way I set my to do lists sometimes, but I was like this before then too - and I dropped the ball on a lot, but it was because I was juggling ten as opposed to two. Or something like that. So, GOALS, POSSIBLE OBSTACLES, BACKUP PLAN, and REVISED GOAL - it's an AM process that might should keep me from setting myself up to fail, hopefully.

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I just graduated from speech therapy.

I'm a little in awe of myself and everything.

It isn't back to a hundred percent...But it's 14 percent better than where I started according to the standardized testing.

Now what? Now to find a part time job where speed doesn't count.

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