@amyroswell / amyroswell.tumblr.com
based on this textpost from @neon-junkie
a/n: I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now, but I finally got around to writing it, hope you don’t think it sucks. Also, I don’t know how to write lap dances for the life of me, so sorry in advance.
Warnings: implied smut, swearing, kinky talk, drinking, lap dance, Tech and Crosshair being little shits, crappy writing, I think that’s it?
Adult Swim making an unholy amount of sense.
Truer now than in 2013.
…A Group which barely missed becoming Historic…
As I recall it his goals were actually super understandable.
His road had way too much traffic to the point he couldn’t leave his apartment (plus I believe that bridge was single lane)
All the traffic and accidents pissed him off so he started hauling phones around in a wagon. The slow speed and high concentration told the algorithms that traffic was horrible and everyone’s maps routed them away to better more appropriate routes.
If you live around there you know it’s fine, but everyone passing through stays on the main roads now.
“you should be at the club” i should be by the sea. i should be in the mountains. i should be awestruck and rendered speechless by the majesty of the natural world. if you even care
SO a few years ago, long before Gandalf Big Naturals was even a thing, I saw this meme and it changed my brain chemistry. Since then I have googled it several times, but never been able to find a trace of it. Alas, it has come to this, and I have been forced to re-create it myself for your viewing pleasure.
wizard losing a bid
Aging eugenides… I tried so many variations for book 3 but they all looked too kingly. I decided to just keep his book 2 look and incorporate the haircut and a little scruff, because what teenage boy doesn’t try to show off whatever beard he has?
as someone who got 2 concussions this year and inhaled toxic substances at the workplace i can confidently inform you all that all characters in the star wars prequels are absolved of stupidity. they're all dumb as a box of rocks but its not their fault that no one made them wear helmets in wartime. the introduction of SPOSHA (space OSHA) would reduce incidences of darth vader creation by at least one i just know it
"anakin shouldn't have done that" he was huffing space gasoline at age 7 literally what did you expect. "obi-wan shouldn't have done that" he literally goes through a window face first in episode 2. "padme shouldn't have done that" she's had a career since she was 10
OVER 20? i thought that shit was at 14 god's honest truth. which is bad enough but WORSE? holy shit. you could fucking fly a jet plane through the holes in his brain, legend has it if you get a brain scan on that man the scarring on his frontal lobe spells out 'HELP.' fucking 20+? that live fast die young ass motherfucker. born with a job, broke both legs by 6, death NASCAR career by 9, logged his first kill at 11, married at 19, 20+ workplace electrocutions by 22. installs his first authoritarian government by 22. overachieving but in all the wrong fields only. i mean 20+? that man hasn't walked in a straight line in years. holy fuck man. 20+? yeeeeeeeeeeesh. holy shit. fuck
i've crunched the numbers and analyzed the situations man and i tell you i ran this in the most favorable of conditions. assuming this boy turned 19 literally 5 minutes before AOTC picks up and Space Years can be substituted by our years, and by '20+' we mean 21, this dude gets electrocuted every 7.4 weeks. dude...... like bro. like man.
when a centaur dies, the horse half obviously goes to hell, but the human half ascends to heaven, detached and missing its lower horse body, forced to go about the rest of its afterlife mourning the loss of something vile and profane, which is in a sense its own kind of hell
