If you work at a sex shop is porn still NSFW?
list of things to do when you’re sad:
- eat chocolate
- listen to music
- order pizza
- buy new clothes
- watch movies
- masturbate
me: can i go to the bathroom?
teacher: i don’t know. can you?
she’s got me. i haven’t evolved a standard animal digestive system. i continue to photosynthesize my energy
my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard
blue whales are the largest animal ever recorded, like you literally need to be in a helicopter to actually see one in from a perspective with zero distortion. idk i just feel pretty lucky to be alive on earth at the same time as them and they don’t even want to kill me. they just wanna use their toothbrush mouthes to filter the ocean of smol ocean bugs. they have communities and they sing to each other to communicate. work is slow im sorry happy friday whales r so cool
i want a cute boyfriend and $500,000
Bullets are the only thing that do their job after they have been fired.
Anxiety: look out me: for what Anxiety: look out
sure, I don’t get a “healthy” amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do but can they do THIS *stands up, blacks out for a second*
I have a bath bomb from lush but no tub so I guess I’ll just have to eat it
um that’s u’re* not ur
i can’t fucken believe that one of the main arguments against wind farms is that they’re an eyesore
do you know what’s an even bigger eyesore?
not having fuckin trees or coral reefs or glaciers or any number of incredible natural beauties because fossil fuels and pollution and global fuckin warming killed it all dead
“Why’d you let the planet die?”
“Aesthetic.”
Making fun of a fat person at a gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair.
black lives are more important than white feelings