Avatar

gay little content

@charcoalsdestiny

Charcoal | 18 | they/he | queer | i like memes. thats about it. I'm dating @iridezzent !!! art tag is #coaldraws Minecraft sideblog- @enby-charcoal . aesthetics sideblog- @coalcryptid sims sideblog- @charcsims icon & banner by me! feel free to send asks!
Avatar
reblogged

two arts in one night shocking i know,, i saw this spider punk poster and just HAD to draw casey in it

said spider punk poster

Avatar

just a reminder that BetterHelp is selling your fucking data and that they themselves have said at industry meetings that they're a data-driven company more than a people-driven company

It feels like for a while in there that people were dropping them as a sponsor but now that the controversy has slightly dimmed there are so many ads for them again; do not give them your information, do not give them your money

I know insurance is a pain in the ass and mental health treatments cost too much out of pocket for most people. So do they, that's why they're making this little bait and switch operation. Helping people is, at best, a side product of their data harvesting, and at worst just a trick to lure people in.

Avatar
Avatar
utopians

genuinely especially with everything happening in britain rn with regards to trans healthcare we need to start shutting down the "your brain doesn't fully develop until 25!" pseudoscience bullshit asap

like it's so insanely common for people to reference it in jokes or posts as if it's a fact we need to start being buzzkills about it

Avatar

unsolicited parenting advice of the day tell your kids what to expect! If your two year old is anxious about when dad is going to get home from work, teach him to recognize what patterns indicate that dad is coming home soon! After lunch we will do an activity and then clean and THEN dad will get home. Listen when the calendar day starts with an S dad does not have to go to work!!

and if something goes wrong and today does NOT go according to the plan your little guy expects, tell him!! Hey, dad has to go to work after all today, but he will be home after lunch! Today dad has to get groceries after work, so he’ll be home later than normal. But he will return with more bananas! Focus on the positives too, give them things they can understand. Don’t just say “not today,” they understand the concept of grocery stores and unexpected trips. Just tell them the problem. You’d hate being in the dark about everything that happens to you also. Let them control their situation, even if it’s just their own emotions and expectations.

or even! Teach them to read an analogue clock! Let me tell you, church nursery in the 1.5-3.5 age group got so much less stressful and anxious for EVERYONE when I taught my kids how to read the clock. They don’t have to ask me anymore how much time is left and fish for answers I can’t give them. They know that their guardians will come for them when the long stripe on the clock touches the 2, and that if they aren’t there then then they’re LATE and they get to hold this over their parents head. Because they know their parents can be late. And they LOVE knowing when this has occurred. There is so much less anxiety.

anyway explain stuff to your kids, they want to know. This has been an unsolicited parenting advice PSA

Avatar
ffcrazy15

Whoa this is actually great advice. Totally forgot kids can’t read clocks until we teach them. No wonder they’re stressed out all the time I would be too if I didn’t have my phone to check the time. That’s useful OP thank you.

Avatar
Avatar
carpisuns

no, YOU have a microwave brain that slowly rotates blorbos. I have a washing machine brain that rotates AND soaks them and sometimes things get a little intense and it starts going THUNK THUNK THUNK and nearly breaks itself because of blorbo overload

Avatar
Avatar
tsatsuma69

bees?

to elaborate:

- her parents didn't belive she was hearing "monsters" in the walls. it was 60,000 bees

- she is 3 years old

- her parents gave her a spray bottle to "spray away the monsters". it was 60,000 bees

- they didn't belive her for 8 minths

- removal cost them $20,000 BECAUSE IT WAS 60,000 BEES!!!!!!

Avatar
Avatar
gendercensus

The 2024 Gender Census is now open!

The 11th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th June 2024.

It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

Thank you so much!

Image credit: Malachite and rhodochrosite.

Avatar

oh gods it was parents evening again tonight..

other parents: how did you do that?
Me:do what?
Other parents: your teenager is eating a salad..
Me:i never forced him eat, now he will pretty much eat anything…except chicken casserole which we both agree is gross
Other parents:we don’t get it.
Me: our only rules are bed at eleven on a school night and don’t hack any important government agencies.
Other parents: you don’t restrict screen time?
Me: you know 95% of kids will self regulate, given the chance?
Other parents: thats not true
Me: have you tried it?
other parents:…but, now he’s reading 1984
Me: he has had a university reading level since he was 12, what am i going to do censor his reading material?
other Parents: what if he reads something you don’t approve of..
Me: i fail to see your reasoning…
Me: you know he cooks too..it’s our mother/son time, we talk about his friends…
other Parents: he talks??

That “he talks??” bit gets me

Yeah, kids talk. If your kid doesn’t talk to you, it’s because of one of two reasons:

  1. You’ve created such a hostile/unwelcoming home environment that they don’t feel comfortable enough to talk
  2. You have signaled to them somehow, some way, that you don’t care about what they have to say. That what they have to say isn’t important.

Kids are not stupid, not at any age level. They pick up on shit and they remember and then when they grow to be teenagers, they know who they can talk to about stuff and who they can’t.

My 13 year old nephew is not particularly affectionate with his mother and he rarely talks to her about anything important, but there are times I can’t get that kid to stop hanging off me and he has those serious conversations with me, like when we discussed his friends coming out to him as bisexual.

It’s not even that hard to make a kid feel loved and welcome. I don’t even know what my nephew is talking about half the time with his games, but they’re important to him, so I let him talk and I make appropriate noises of shock and sympathy when they are needed.

He watches a lot of YT channels, so we’ve discussed the importance of regulating your media, because I don’t want motherfuckers like PewDiePie shaping his world view.

He reads anything from Stephen King to manga and he does that because I’ve been reading him books since he was a baby. I do it with all of my nieces and nephews; when they get school-aged and old enough to read on their own, our “us” time is going to the bookstore and letting them pick out a drink and a book.

Because reading is important to me and I want it to be important to them, too. Now, it’s not something I suggest, it’s something that my nephew asks for.

“I finished my book, Aunt [Dessie], when can we go to the bookstore again?”

And when I tell him a date, I make sure to keep it.

Saying, “You can talk to me about anything” and “you can rely on me” is all well and good, but words are just words. You have to mean it and you have to show them that you mean it.

Otherwise, when it gets to those important moments in their life, they’re gonna shut you out rather than let you in.

Seriously though, you guys. Like.

Here is a secret:

Children and adolescents are actually fucking desperate for adult attention and approval. They really are. Even the ones that have in fact kinda got fucked up so far and have learned that The Only Kind Of Attention They’ll Get Is Bad and so act like shitheads, or the ones that have learned to be inhibited (and it might not even be you who inhibited them, it mighta been their peers or some teacher somewhere, which sucks!) and learned that by showing need they’ll just end up humiliated, or whatever?

Yeah them too.

Kids want to make you happy.

They’re often TERRIBLE AT IT. They’re kids. Their brains don’t work right, their bodies are weird, they have terrible impulse control, horrible deferred satisfaction, they’re shitty at projecting future consequences, and especially if they HAVEN’T been taught they’re probably bad at showing you positive emotions!

They’re BAD AT IT. And they often don’t want anyone to know it. And they’re embarrassed about it.

But they desperately want to. So much.

So one of the most crucial things is:

a) make sure they know how to make you happy. Don’t assume they can figure it out! They probably can’t!

b) make sure that’s something that is literally possible for them to do.

c) make sure, when they do it, that you SHOW THEM YOU’RE HAPPY WITH IT.

It is absolutely ASTONISHING HOW FAST this can create a self-sustaining cycle with the SMALLEST of starts.

Avatar
Avatar
berlynn-wohl

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they're starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they're reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there's 10,000 other people that will continue...but if you participate in a fic "book club" server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don't rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit "post"

this is directly related to this post I made about how fanfic authors now are treated like content mills, and not like valued members of a creative community who thrive on interaction. for the past decade, we've watched the fandom ecosystem disrupted over and over, as NSFW fan artists seek safety by putting their work behind paywalls, and self-conscious fic readers squirrel away their feelings in invite-only communities

an easy way to do your part to fight against the evils perpetrated by social media is to leave a comment on a fanfic you love

Oh, PLEASE come and talk to me directly! I don't bite, even if some of my characters may occasionally nibble. And I Do Not Put Up With people being rude to one another, arguing in bad faith or flinging canned rhetoric.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.