Jesper, starting a fight he can't win: Lol.
Jesper, losing: What the fuck-
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Bestie this is so nice! 😭 Sorry I haven't been on in forever but thank you!
Jesper: I'm not good at picking up vibes. Have Kaz and Inej become a thing yet?
Wylan: They've been dating for a year?
Zoya: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. Am I an asshole? Do I care a lot? I don't fucking know and it's so frustrating!
monakanej reblogged
Modern AU when the Crows rescue Inej from a villain...
Inej: You really put aside everything and came all this way to rescue me? How did you even get here so fast?
Kaz: Several traffic violations.
Jesper: Three counts of resisting arrest!
Nina: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Matthias: Also that’s not our car.
Inej: Aw, that’s so nice of you all! So, where is Wylan?
The Crows: *look around*
Inej: You didn’t bring him with you?
Jesper: ...No, we did.
Inej: Then where-
Nina: *gasps* WE LOST WYLAN-
Inej: HOW DID YOU LOSE WYLAN?
Jesper: I don’t know, he was there during the police chase-
Inej: There was a POLICE CHASE?
Nina: We literally told you about resisting arrest.
Matthias: Maybe he fell off the motorcycle! I told you it couldn’t fit five people-
Nina: Oh yeah, he was sitting at the back!
Inej: When were you riding a motorcycle?
Jesper: That’s what we were using until we crashed into the bank and had to steal- WAIT HE’S AT THE BANK!
Matthias: Why would he be at the bank? He’s already rich.
Nina: What if Pekka got him? He could be holding him for ransom-
Inej: How did none of you notice he was missing until now?
Matthias: It’s not my fault, I was the one driving.
Nina: Oh yeah, it’s Jesper’s fault, he was the one Wylan was holding onto.
Jesper: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT-
#meanwhile kaz is silently waiting for them to remember wylan's in the car#wylan literally is bleeding out in the backseat and only kaz remembers oof#six of crows incorrect quotes#crooked kingdom#inej ghafa#jesper fahey#nina zenik#matthias helvar#six of crows#soc incorrect quotes#grishaverse#shadow and bone#shadow and bone incorrect quotes#grishaverse incorrect quotes
monakanej reblogged
i just understand that now i will never see patrick saying nikolai's iconic "i would choose you, zoya. as my general, as my friend, as my bride"
monakanej reblogged
literally its so fun being abnormal about christianity and also being christian because i just said "id kiss judas with tongue" in front of my pastor and she squinted at me and went "do you need to be removed from council or are you going to be normal?"
me: do you think jesus and peter ever explored each other's bodies?
her husband, the other pastor: oh almost definitely.
her:
this cannot become a big post guys don't reblog it
Nina: If I may interject-
Kaz: Oh, great, Nina was eavesdropping.
Inej: You need to apologize to Nina!
Kaz: Fine! Unfuck you, or whatever.
Kaz: Jesper, remember when you said you weren’t going to interfere with my love life?
Jesper: No, that doesn’t sound like me at all.
monakanej reblogged
good riddance
monakanej reblogged
Alternative six of crows titles
- The adventures of Dirtyhands, The Wraith and these other people
- My fair Ferolind
- At least i packed enought snacks
- How to survive life threathening situations : Making fun of a rich guy
- Trapped with four demjins and a
1215 year old - Finally made friends
- Coolest rescue ever
Alternative Crooked kingdom titles
- A guide to investments: Only needs Inej and sugar
- Goodbye Ferolind, hello The Wraith
- Queen of zombies
- I AM
NOTFINE! - Best year of my life (or is it?)
- Perks and downsides or wearing another face
- Worst rescue ever
monakanej reblogged
We deserved more scenes between Jesper and Nina after she found out that he’s Grisha. It’s canon that she bothers him a few times about training and going to Ravka, but it’s my personal headcanon that she’s low key aggravated that he has never trained at all, REFUSES to become classically trained, yet manages to be so good with his power.
Like this post epitomizes what I’m talking about:
Nina who is absolutely flummoxed, bewildered, and pissed that Jesper has never trained a day in his life and is just winging it and yet somehow isn’t dying from avoiding his powers?
She comes back to Ketterdam from Fjerda, expecting to find that Jesper has gotten a real tutor, and instead she finds him using his powers in the most insane ways.
“What do you MEAN you’ve started fabrikating objects you can’t see?! You can’t even bend a kitchen knife yet!”
She badgers Wylan about it, but he insists he’s tried to get Jesper a proper tutor, but every one that he invites over leaves cursing about Jesper’s unorthodox methods and inability to follow directions. Kaz personally finds it hilarious, and Jesper is far too pleased with himself for that.
monakanej reblogged
Malina & Zoyalai: Don't get together because drama
Tolya:
monakanej reblogged
I just love when a fanfic is so very soft that I have to stop reading every three rows and walk around my room for a bit with a hand on my heart while whispering "oh my god they glanced at eachother", because I get too overwhelmed with love and sweetness.