What's the difference between a flute and a dildo? I can't think of anything, they are both just overpriced devices that when working properly make an annoying high pitch sound

One causes pleasureThe other is sold at Spencer’s

Your take on each instrument and how their users feel about sex?

piccolo: i only fuck trumpets and other piccolos but i fuck them hardflute: i’m saving it until marriage :)oboe: ace afclarinet: i’ll suck anything if you ask kindly enoughsaxophone: more like SEXY PHONE AM I RIGHT AYYYYYYYYYYYY suck my dick nowbassoon: is that what my genitals are forhorn: i’m amazing at sex but my standards are stratospheric so good luck getting in my pantstrumpet: narcissexuality is a valid orientationtrombone: i give oral as a greetingeuphonium: people think i’m a virgin but i’m secretly juggling dicks as i walk into rehearsaltuba: either a very salty virgin or a lesbian stripperpercussion: bang me am i rightpiano: just hold my hand please i am so aloneharp: i’m fuckin, but not fuckin any of you. i have a personal harem that i make use of whenever i feel distressingly arousedorgan: i love nobody enough to engage in sexual intercourse with them, except our lord and father jesus christ. but he’s a bit out of my leagueviolin: I CAN’T FUCK YOU I’M TOO BUSY PRACTISING. GO DOWN ON ME WHILE I’M PRACTISING MENDELSSOHN IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BUT I’D RATHER NOTviola: i’m not that bothered about sex. i might hook up occasionally, and leave purple hickeys on them, scratch their back until they look like a corpse, let them choke me and spank me and leave my buttocks red as rudolph’s nose, and go down on them until they release their beautiful gushing fluids into my throat canal hnng yes master, but nah i’m not that interested in sexcello: i sleep on a velvet bed with rose petals sprinkled across it and candles lit around itbass: i have many sex but only to fit in with societyconductor: ONLY ONE STICK IN MY LIFE AND IT’S NOT GOING IN ANYONE’S ANYTHING

orchestra stereotypes - go!

piccolo: i don’t always play, but when i do, rip ur earsflutes: can we please do something else than imitating birdsoboes: quack quack was that me warming up my reed or an actual melody who knowsclarinets: we have one melody in this entire piece and you can’t hear it over the trumpets so why would we not warm up with rhapsody in bluesaxophones: thank you lord for inventing maurice ravel. oh and while ur here lord can you stop the rest of the orchestra bullying mebassoons: deep poothorns: just when ur admiring us for our infinite hotness and gorgeous tone quality we’ll start playing mahler cuivré with 8 of us in unison watch out BAAAAAAtrumpets: *slides into violin 1 section* which one of u lovely ladies wants a night with me ay the trumpet isn’t the only thing i can double tongue alalalalalalala *puts two fingers up to mouth and starts imitating cunnilingus*trombones: the bottle i’m clutching onto is definitely water and not vodka i promise. gotta stay hydrated. no you can’t have any why d-tuba: *tips fedora* m’ladytimpani: i went through 4 years of music school just for this shit 1 5 1 5 1 5 1 5 1 oh tricky bit coming up there’s a triplet but don’t worry there’s 92 bars of rest for me to prepare for itother percussion: 1 gay guy, 1 straight girl who’s his best friend, the rest just fuckboysharp: you may not be able to hear me in the orchestra but you won’t be laughing anymore when i forcefully transport you into a dream sequence just watchpiano: why am i here. i chose this instrument to get away from other musicians wtf i can make all the notes by myself i don’t need youorgan: now i can really make all the notes by myself you want a trumpet here’s a trumpet you want a clarinet here’s a clarinet badabingbadaboom just give me a church and i’m invincibleconcertmaster: bow down 2 meother violin 1s: we promise we’re just as good as the concertmaster see here’s us warming up with the sibelius concerto look loOK LOOKviolin 2s: i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it didn’t even matterviolas: you think you have it bad violin 2s we have to come into every rehearsal just for pizzicato ostinaticelli: 70% boring basslines 30% passionate melodies 100% fuck mebasses: plonk plonk plonkconductor: let’s have some fun this beat is sick everyone pay attention to me and my stick