To my friends,
Hello, everyone!
Before I say anything else, I would like to say that you have all been some of the brightest, biggest blessings in my life during 2020. Even though I don’t know the colors of your eyes or the sound of your laughter, I love you and will always be thankful for you. In one year, you became unforgettable lights in my life.
This is my goodbye for a long while, and, truthfully, I was wondering if I should have left quietly since I have left you all so long anyway. But some of you are truly dear friends to me, so I wanted to leave with a little more closure.
I plan to leave Tumblr for a while, and perhaps permanently. During my hiatus from here, I have made some sad choices and put too much pressure on myself. But I think I’ve made some very good ones, too, and I’m learning to be more self-assured and to love the people in my life more loyally. I constantly feel like I’m bad at friendships, as much as I love the people in them, so I’m deciding to step back from every social media for a while and really re-center myself and my face to face relationships.
I love you all, and thank you for all the love you have given me during 2020.
You are all more precious than the stars in the sky, and more beautiful than sunrises, and I thank you for being my friends.
All the love in the world,
Liz
@yunwoo @inkigayeo @toffee-hwa @jaesmintea @xiaocity @yeocult @s1ardusk @softhwas @sanflowerseeds @bluumin @twancingyunhoe @joongsdazzledshoes @barsformars @closer-stars @yunhowhoitiss @atthispointwhoevencares @lovely-kpop-writer @citronnade-coups @4chai @hansolmates @woozisnoots @hanniesbubble @myflowerxmh @leannehuang @yunception @kpophours @imoonstarstuff @nafnifnice @yangcaffeine @haotheheckk @daybreakx
CIRCUS CLOWNS!!
I had written these letters in preparation for my 500 followers celebration, but never got to post them. I know we don’t talk as much as we once did, and I know I am too quiet. But I will always love you fiercely, and I hope to keep watching you bloom into the amazing people you’re going to be. Here they are now
Anna ( @yunwoo ) — Thank you for matching me so well, for being an inspiration for me even though you’re younger. Thank you for the joy you bring me, and for all the times we have screamed together. Thank you for doing anything and everything you want, for sharing your gifts to the world. From coding, to design, to writing, to interacting with people on your blog—you’re giving the world a great gift by just being you. Thank you for that. And, in our friendship, thank you for being one of my closest friends during quarantine. I do not say that lightly, and I talked to you more than many people in my life. You brought me a lot of fun and friendship during a time when I should have lost it (I’m thinking early in quarantine, especially). I will actually remember spring of 2020 fondly because of that, and because of your friendship, I began to realize that Tumblr was more than just a place to be nice and share writing. I realized it could be real. So, of all these thank yous, I say perhaps most emphatically of all: Thank you for being real.
Vivi ( @inkigayeo ) — Thank you for being everything I am not. You are loud, and brilliant, and so, so undeniably kind. You shine so brightly and beautifully; it is something that I am fiercely thankful that I get to witness anytime I see you online. Thank you for seeing me. I think that a lot of people see me as one thing or another, and I sometimes fear they will love me less because of it. I honestly think you’ve seen a lot of sides of me, and still want me around. So thank you for that. And thank you for living so proudly. I say that because you are just yourself. No holds barred, no faking it. You pursue what you want, love loudly, and I love that about you. Thank you for sharing it, and yourself, with me.
Ana ( @toffee-hwa ) — Ana, I have so many thank yous crowding my mind right now, I don’t even know how to begin or make it cohesive. So, first of all, thank you for being in my life. Of all the friends I have made here, you are one of the most genuine, kind, heartfelt, hardworking, and all around spectacular. You mean so much to me, and it may sound a bit dramatic because we’ve never even spoken face to face, but I truly think the world of you. Thank you for sharing all the little things with me, from our little heights to our filters. Thank you for sharing the beautiful details about yourself, from Hera to new hair. Thank you for being here for me. I feel like when I get busy, I cut myself off. In this latest bout of it, you stayed in touch. That means the world to me. So, Ana, even if we never speak again tomorrow (which I hope isn’t the case): Thank you for your loyalty and heart. I am better and feel more loved for knowing it.
Dia ( @jaesmintea ) — Dia, I feel like I know you the least well of the circus clowns, and I’m sorry for that. But I love you to the moon and back regardless of that. I am so proud of you for all you’ve overcome, and so thankful that I get to be one of your friends. Thank you for sharing your art on Tumblr; I remember when we first met, I was in awe of what you create. Thank you for being such a warm, welcoming person. I think anyone could find a home in you, and that is something more precious than the stars in Seonghwa’s eyes that someone shared a post about. This is silly and small, but stay with me: Thank you for your music tastes. I found the song Happiness by Wingtip through you, and it has brought me so much joy over the past few months. That’s a bit of how I feel like I interact with you. I know we don’t speak as often, but I am still incredibly thankful for you, and have gotten so much joy from knowing you. Even if it’s just watching your shenanigans with Vivi. Dia, my sweet friend, you bring so much love and joy and beauty wherever you go. Thank you for that.
Siya ( @xioacity ) — Siya, I don’t think I’ve poured a sentimental heart out to you very often. I’m sorry if you feel left out (it’s not being left out of much haha). Anyway, that leads me to my first thank you to you: Thank you for being the down-for anything, always there for you friend. You’re such a constant in the gcs. That, to me, is very precious. You’re such a loyal, well-intentioned, hard-working person. Those are qualities that mean the world. Thank you for them, for letting me be your friend so I get to see them. Thank you for pushing yourself, too. The world doesn’t deserve you, Siya, but it gets you, and wow. Thank goodness for that! I do not say lightly, that I believe you can do anything, Siya. You are talented, and hardworking, and kind, and unstoppable. I am so proud of you, so thankful to know you, and I can’t wait to see where you go. Wherever you end up, I hope I get to see it and go: There’s my SIYA TALENTED. (I love you so much!)