cruel world - z.h
“did what i had to do, cause you’re so past me now”
kind of ? based on cruel world by lana del rey from her ultraviolence album
you and zach were only fourteen nearly fifteen when your relationship started. a few months before you were just the new girl in school who was confused on why so many girls swooned over him, you were unaware of his social media status. even when he asked you out on a date you were unaware, it was only until the middle of your first date you asked for his instagram and saw how many followers he had compared to your just over four hundred.
the more longer your relationship with zach went for, the more stages you guys pushed through. sometimes you even went with tour with him for a day or two, everything was good. the two of you were just two kids in love and no one could break that, despite everyone around them knowing about them. his fans didn’t know about them, everyone who knew zach through social media, all his fans that met him during the social media tours he did had no idea of his girlfriend. she was his little secret for over a year and she went with it, she liked the thrill of it and really at that point she would of done anything to be with him.
and maybe that’s what made innocent y/n become the person she is today, the reckless but driven girl standing three years later. because no one gave her the time of day before zach, to say he was her first love is an understatement. she shared her body and her mind with him, he was her first everything. there isn’t anyone in this world that knows y/n better than zach. but like usual, all good things must come to an end. because just before zach turned sixteen, around april just after your own birthday you had come to a realisation, he was finally becoming something big and you were slowly falling behind. it was difficult catching up with him, difficult for the both of you to maintain the relationship you guys built.
so y/n came to the conclusion, she had to break up with zach. she could tell it was tiring him out and all she wants is for him to focus on this, focus on the band because this was all he dreamt and worked hard for. he loved you and you loved him and maybe nothing was going to change that even years later but she had to do what she had to do, for him and for her. she could still remember the day she broke up with him like it was yesterday. it was the morning, four hours before she had to fly back home to texas. she was staying at their la house and the days coming to this day even he could tell something was wrong, he was laying in bed, she was packing her suitcase, sitting on the floor, her back facing towards him.
“do you want to tell me what’s going on now?” he asks, scared to know what her answer was going to be because as in denial as he is even he knew what was coming.
“you already know zach, you know me more than anyone” she replied back, sounding tired, sounding… distant like she wasn’t even in the same room.
“don’t do this” he begs, suddenly standing from the bed and sitting next to her on the floor. “please don’t do this, i love you, i love you so much.” he stares at her, wanting her to turn her head and look at him, but tears started to form in her eyes, her hands started to shake as she tried to collect her tears. “y/n please”
“i don’t want to do this” she snaps as she turns her head towards him, “i fucking love you idiot, this is why i’m doing this. i’m doing this because i love you okay?! so don’t make me say the words, don’t make me fucking say it.” her voice was bitter, angry even which made him get angry. this was starting into a fight, a fight she didn’t sign up for.
“because breaking up with me is showing you love me?! since when?! since fucking when was that because please tell me. if you loved me, you wouldn’t be doing this y/n!” he snapped back, standing up and pacing around the room as she zipped her suitcase and stood up, standing the suitcase up as well ready for the both of them to leave.
“if you loved me, i wouldn’t be feeling like a dirty secret that’s swept under the rug and only taken out when you need. it was fun at the beginning zach, but over a year is too long.” you replied, your voice wasn’t raised. it was calm, more because of the fact you didn’t want a fight to happen. you didn’t want things to end that way.
“do you want me to tell them? about us? about you? i will, if that’s what it takes” he was getting desperate because over a year was eternity for him, as young as he was it truly felt that y/n was the one.
“no, no that’s not what i want and you’re not going to do it either way. you have one thing to focus on right now zach, and it’s not me, it’s this. i watched you work hard for this, this is your dream and i’m not going to stand in between that.” you finally explained, feeling the salt taste of tears going to your lips, your vision of him was blurred because god the guy you truly wanted for the rest of your life, you were letting him go.
all of a sudden you felt a pair of wet lips against yours, his arm wrapped around your waist to pull you closer, his other hand on the side of your neck. desperation, passion, want and love was placed in this last kiss, you didn’t know how long it was but it felt that it went away too quick. “and what if you’re the girl of my dreams?” he softly asks, “then we’ll meet again… i guess.” you answer.
and again, you don’t know how long you two stood there for, desperately holding onto each other like no tomorrow because there was no tomorrow, there wasn't even going to be a next month. at the end you ended up leaving that house with the biggest hole in your heart, the hole that zachary dean herron used to fill.
A/N ; aH THANKS FOR READING MY FIRST IMAGINE ON HERE, IM SO SORRY IF ITS MESSY OR IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. but if you wanna see the part two of cruel world and get to see the “reckless but driven girl” that you become and that zach finally sees then request !! or maybe if i have enough motivation i’ll do it myself lmao but, i hope you liked it!
