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La'an Noonien Singh

@ltlaan / ltlaan.tumblr.com

[Under construction. Spoilers tagged 'SNW Spoilers' for a week.]
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leneemusing

prompts for emotionally stunted idiots

because my friends muses need therapy. will they get it? absolutely not. 

AVOIDING THE TERRIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN:  

  •   yeah i’m pissed off but i’d rather not talk about it.  that’s why you’re the one i came to. 
  •   i’m not looking for a friend.  i’m looking for someone just as angry as i am. 
  •   i’m not good at caring about people’s shit on purpose. 
  •   i’m not gonna ask if ‘you’re okay’ cause that’s fuckin’ annoying.  you wanna get the hell out of here and do something?  ”  
  •  “  i don’t wanna talk about it. you got a beer?  ”  
  •   upset?  why would i be upset?  ”
  • “  so you wanna go find something to break?  ”  
  • “  hey you want me to kill that guy for you?  ”
  •   i just need to get this shit done.  and i trust you to help me do that.    
  •   you’re hot.  and i’m bored.  ”  
  •   can we just have some meaningless sex we can both pretend didn’t happen tomorrow morning?  ”
  •   i can think of at least a dozen people that need killing.  or a light beating.  will that cheer you up?  ”
  • “  i’ve a got job and i think you’d be the perfect fit.  so you in?  ”
  • “  yeah i don’t do the whole crying thing.  give me something to stab and i’ll be good in a day or two.  ”
  • “  i banged it out and now i feel great.  next question.  ”
  • “  if i think about it,  i get angry.  and i don’t know where that anger stops.  so i’d rather not start at all.  ”

VARIOUS SENTENCES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO DEPTH U COWARDS: 

  • “  if you’re gonna stay here you can’t be sober so either take the fruity beer or the shitty wine or let me be vibe in peace. 
  •   how much insect essence do you think are in every square inch of chocolate? like just how many cockroach guts have i consumed with my hershey’s? ” 
  •   you should’ve seen the look on their face.  it’s been so long since i’ve made someone that fuckin’ angry it was great.  
  •   i have this neighbor who keeps playing driver’s license at 10 a.m. every morning and i’m starting to question if it’s a sixteen year old getting over a breakup or a 36 year old trying to reclaim their childhood. at this point the mystery is the only thing keeping me going. 
  • “  do i trust you?  absolutely not.  next question. 
  • “  if i don’t get a nap in the next hour i’ll probably murder someone.  ”
  • “  you’re getting that look in your eyes like you’re about to ask me what’s wrong so i’m gonna save us both the awkwardness of finding an excuse to leave and just go now. 
  •   i’m here to raid your fridge cause my date went really bad and all i’ve had is lukewarm water and breadsticks. 
  •   i’m making a fake tinder profile to see how gullible guys are, wanna help?  ”   
  • “  hey i got something for you look!    *holds up middle finger* 

U MIGHT GET PUNCHED: 

  • “  why are you really here?  ”
  • “  i’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on.  ”
  • “  you can’t solve every problem with your fists.  ”  
  • “  i’m not here to talk about me.  what the hell is going on with you?  ”
  • “  you think i don’t notice but i do.  i can tell something’s wrong.  ”   
  • “  i can see beneath your smile.  ”
  • “  why won’t you just tell me the truth?  ”
  • “  what are you hiding? and don’t you dare try to lie to me. ”
  • “  what the hell did you do?  ”
  • “  so are we gonna talk about it or are we gonna pretend nothing’s wrong here?  ”
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reblogged

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙸𝙽 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜

add  + REVERSE  to reverse the roles!

  • ∆ FOLLOW ∆  -  sender grabs receiver’s hand to bring them somewhere
  • ∆ STOP ∆  -  sender grabs the receiver’s hand to stop them from going somewhere
  • ∆ FRIGHT ∆  -  sender grabs the receiver’s hand because they are scared
  • ∆ EXCITE ∆  -   sender grabs receiver’s hands out of excitement
  • ∆ OVER HERE ∆  -  sender grabs receiver’s hand to grab their attention
  • ∆ COMFORT ∆  -  sender places their hand atop the receiver’s to comfort them
  • ∆ HEAL ∆   -  sender treats a wound on the receiver’s hand
  • ∆ COLD ∆  -  sender warms receiver’s hands in their own
  • ∆ CATCH ∆  -  sender grabs receiver’s hand(s) to keep them from losing their balance/falling
  • ∆ LIFT ∆  -  sender grabs receiver’s hand to help them climb up\down from somewhere
  • ∆ SIZE ∆  -  sender starts measuring their hand in comparison to receiver’s
  • ∆ TRACE ∆  -  sender starts tracing the receiver’s hands in their own
  • ∆ OUTSIDE ∆  -  sender kisses the back of receiver’s hand/their knuckles
  • ∆ INSIDE ∆  -  sender kisses the palm of the receiver’s hand
  • ∆ TOGETHER ∆  -  sender entwines receiver’s hand in theirs as they are walking
  • ∆ SWING ∆  -  sender swings receiver’s hand in theirs as if they are a child
  • ∆ BRUSH ∆  -  sender accidentally brushes their hand against the receiver’s as they both reach for the same item
  • ∆ CLOSE ∆  -  sender places their hand with their fingers just barely touching receiver’s, too shy to fully hold their hand
  • ∆ CIRCLES ∆  -  sender gently rubs circles over the receiver’s hand with their thumb
  • ∆ MASSAGE ∆  -   sender works the stiffness out of the muscles of the receiver’s hand with a massage.
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reblogged
all things considered it’s not surprising that la’an’s upset.   truthfully?  una had taken that into consideration when she’d lied in the first place.  after everything that’s happened lately…  it’s sure as hell not something she takes lightly,  but in this situation she feels it was entirely justified.  worrying about her would’ve compromised the success of the mission,  especially with la’an already experiencing emotional distress due to the enemy they’d faced.  besides,  downplaying her own problems is something una’s done for as long as she can remember…  old habits die hard,  and all.
upon hearing the danger had passed una had finally let m’benga contact the bridge with her actual condition and,  unsurprisingly,  the reactions have been mixed.  
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it still aches when she breathes,  but that’s just a part of recovering from an exceptionally shitty day.  god,  the thought crosses her mind so casually  —  as if shitty refers to little more than a bad mood  —  and maybe that’s part of the problem in the first place.  gaze drifts to la’an,  lips turned down in a hint of a frown as she feels pangs of regret despite the certainty she’d felt regarding her actions,  but it’s only a moment before una looks back at the ceiling.   
“yeah,  lying’s not a great look right now i know,”   she admits,  an arm moving to subconsciously drape over the worst of her physical injuries  —  the injuries that are still healing   ❪  though she supposes the same could be said about her emotional state to some degree  ❫.   “i’m sorry.  you needed to be able to focus,  so i made a calculated judgement…  and i understand if you’re upset,”   if this is all la’an wants to talk about right now…?  eh,  una will give her a pass.  after all,  if she’s had a shitty day it’s impossible to imagine what la’an’s would be classified as.   

Do you understand?” she spits out before she’s able to stop herself. Childish. She knows it is. She feels like a child, unable to be in the present when her mind was so recently dragged into the past.

She can’t stop seeing the Commander in that corridor–can’t stop seeing her brother on the nursery planet. The moments in her memory keep overlapping, morphing into each other. Her brother in the corridor. The Commander giving her the book of codes. Her brother fighting her in the warp room. The Commander telling her it would be okay on the Puget Sound. She clenches her jaw.

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“You did not trust me.” She overenunciates each word, depriving them of any intonation. Perhaps she feels childish, but she will not whine. “I knew as well as you did that I was needed on the bridge, but you chose to lie to me–” She stops before saying again. “I would have followed your order. I would have left you.”

She says the words with some conviction--maybe she even believes them--but there is a tightness in her chest so physical that she pulls her shoulders back slightly to try to relieve it.

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sunprompts

SIMPLE ACTIONS

hello, I'm a new RP prompts blog! my first post is just some simple actions; plenty of room for you to decide what the reasoning or emotion behind the action is. feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post 💛 nice to meet you all!
  • [COLLAR] - sender reaches out to smooth down / fix receiver's collar.
  • [RUFFLE] - sender ruffles receiver's hair.
  • [BRACE] - sender braces receiver under the elbow.
  • [FOREHEAD] - sender feels receiver's forehead.
  • [HANDS] - sender takes receiver's hands.
  • [NECKLACE] - sender fastens a necklace around receiver's neck.
  • [SHOULDER] - sender lays a hand on receiver's shoulder.
  • [SIT] - sender guides receiver to sit down on a chair / bed / wall / etc.
  • [LAY] - sender guides receiver by the shoulders to lay back.
  • [TUG] - sender tugs receiver's hand in an attempt to get them to follow.
  • [WAIST] - sender rests a hand against receiver's waist.
  • [SUPPORT] - sender pulls receiver's arm over their shoulder for support.
  • [DRINK] - sender sets something to drink down in front of receiver.
  • [FOOD] - sender sets something to eat down in front of receiver.
  • [BACK] - sender rubs a hand up and down receiver's back.
  • [COAT] - sender zips / buttons up receiver's coat for them.
  • [CHEEK] - sender brushes a thumb over receiver's cheek.
  • [NUZZLE] - sender nuzzles into receiver's neck.
  • [HUG] - sender tugs receiver in for a hug.
  • [CHIN] - sender tucks receiver in under their chin.
  • [LIFT] - sender lifts receiver off the ground (or attempts to).
  • [CARRY] - sender carries receiver to another location.
  • [HALT] - sender gently pulls receiver to a halt.
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@commanderuna​ “ you’ve been so quiet. what’s on your mind? ”  

La’an is so tense she can feel every bone, every muscle in her body. Forgiving and forgiveness are both things she struggles with, and with the Commander, there is the need for both. Perhaps it is unfair, but the need is too strong to suppress.

But there are other things too. An attachment that she cannot bear to acknowledge. The feeling of family that digs into her like claws. The poison of idolization.

What is on her mind? Too much to put into words, and even if she could, she would not wish to.

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“You told me you were not severely injured,” she says, not making eye contact.

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I am extremely emotional about La’an and Una, La’an and Pike, and La’an and Spock right now. 

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La’an draws a slow breath. Spock is observant in a way that most aren’t, and it makes her wary of him. During missions she appreciates it, but on a personal level? It can be a problem.

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“I requested a double shift.” She hasn’t been sleeping, so what was the point of just sitting in her quarters awake? But now she's stuck for an hour with nothing to do but sit by her station for an hour with her arms crossed, not allowed to do anything lest she disobeys orders. “But the captain insisted I take a break between them.”

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rpclefairy

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒

  • “ am i not good enough? ”  
  • “ you’ve been so quiet. what’s on your mind? ”  
  • “ why did you help me? ”  
  • “ who do you fight for? ”  
  • “ why do you hate me? ”  
  • “ have you come to laugh at me in my miserable state? ”  
  • “ you’re not dating anyone, are you? ”  
  • “ i’ve got your back, okay? ”  
  • “ where do you think you’re going? ”  
  • “ how long have i been asleep? ”  
  • “ are you going to kill me? ”  
  • “ why can’t i come with you? ”  
  • “ we all have secrets, don’t we? ”  
  • “ did you want to be alone? ”  
  • “ why should i trust you? ”  
  • “ wait. did you hear that? ”  
  • “ promise me? ”  
  • “ why are you talking like we’ll never see each other again? ”  
  • “ do you remember anything at all? ”  
  • “ what? no witty remark? nothing clever to say? ”  
  • “ you wanna know what your problem is? ”  
  • “ may i have this dance? ”  
  • “ can i ask… what happened? ”  
  • “ how many people have you killed? how many? ”  
  • “ do you ever hear yourself? ”  
  • “ would you run away with me? ”  
  • “ could you be happy here with me? ”  
  • “ you can’t or you won’t? ”  
  • “ you slept with them, didn’t you? ”  
  • “ well, how do i look? ”  
  • “ after all you’ve done how can i possibly trust you? ”  
  • “ why can’t you let me in? what are you so afraid of? ”  
  • “ what did they do to you? ”  
  • “ so why’s it so important anyway? ”  
  • “ where have you been? ”  
  • “ why are you looking at me like that? ”  
  • “ why did you come? ”  
  • “ what are you doing out here by yourself? ”  
  • “ is… that my shirt you’re wearing? ”  
  • “ you… don’t like me very much, do you? ”  
  • “ why does it always have to be a fight with you? ”
  • “ why can’t you look me in the eye? ”  
  • “ can you forgive me? ”  
  • “ what if i never see you again? ”  
  • “ you were going to leave without saying goodbye? ”  
  • “ how about a little midnight snack? ”  
  • “ are you… smelling me? ”  
  • “ how did you get this scar? ”  
  • “ what do you want in exchange for it? ”  
  • “ what did you want to tell me? ”  
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reblogged

nursc​:

do you really think you’re the first person to lie to me? sit back and tell me when it hurts. it still felt cruel to treat her without any pain medication; she would abide by her patients wishes, always… but that didn’t mean she could abide by their lies. geesh, you’re lucky you got me and not m’benga, i’m a wiz with the regenerator, i’ll have you good as new. must’ve been some accident… 

“There was a man who might have been crushed if I didn’t get him out from under the debris immediately,” she states evenly. 

She clenches her jaw. She’d wanted to stay on the surface, but no matter how many times she reassured M’Benga that she could handle the pain, that she just needed to bandage it up so she didn’t bleed on anyone, he gently refused her. The gentleness itself felt like a bit of an insult. 

At least that isn’t something she has to worry about from Chapel.

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“I’m not lying to you. I can withstand a cut.” She swallows thickly. Being treated seems to be making the lightheadedness worse, although she’s sure it will pass. However, she admits, in a quieter voice. “It does hurt.”

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it’s above everyone’s security clearance, he wasn’t sure how many people really knew about it; april was an admiral and had to spend hours convincing others to get access; it seemed the secret was destined to disappear into the cracks until the memory of discovery was eventually forgotten. pike shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with his own train of thought, taking another sip to balance himself before shifting back his attention to la’an. you are right. about everything. you were also right a lot today, you made your opinions known and charged ahead when i was more cautious. it’s important to have contrasting personalities in a starship, it’s the difference between life and death. 
don’t misunderstand me, the orders i give are final, but until i make them, i need you to argue with me at every return. and save everyone here from him. between discovery’s shadow and the looming future, he felt… unsettled. “ you know, i don’t think any crew ever disagreed with me more than discovery’s.  
“ they were the finest in the fleet, incomparable. 

La'an set her jaw, something inside her clenched tight. Loss was something she understood, and she could sense loss in him every time they spoke. It put her on edge. Like he could see through her. Like she could see through him a little, even if she didn't know all the details. Sometimes understanding didn't come from details.

"I doubt I'll have trouble arguing, sir. I've been called belligerent, more than once." Among other things. "I do have one question, though..."

She paused. Maybe it was a pointless. Maybe she should withdraw it before she even spoke. But it nagged at her. She'd joined Starfleet for a few very specific reasons, and one of those reasons came into conflict with what little she knew about this situation.

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"If the record is fabricated, I presume that means their families don't know... what they did. Or what happened to them. And they never will, will they?"

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@owedfavors​​ // “ of course i remembered. ”

La’an smiles slightly, briefly. Vulnerability feels dangerous with most people, but she’s an exception. This is the person who saved her, not only from dying in the vacuum of space, but also from allowing her to destroy herself.

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“No one else knows... what day it is, do they? I’ve been concerned the captain might wish me to celebrate.”

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nursc​:

good. of course. if it was something simple, the transporters would have caught it and she would have been notified, which means there is a mystery afoot. m’benga, that softie, always giving her the fun cases alrighty, come on. sit down on one of the beds, i’ll be right with you. 
grabbing a few of the more sophisticated portable hand-held devices — no reason to break out the complicated machineries just yet, she started asking questions.  pretty gnarly cut, how are you feeling? 
wheeling everyone over, she starts with the scissors. i’m going to need to cut around it. 

“I feel fine,” La’an says flatly. There is pain, of course. She feels slightly lightheaded from the blood loss, and there is a burning sensation emanating from the injury itself.

She’s been hurt a hell of a lot worse, though. There’s no reason to sit and complain.

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“Go ahead. Do whatever you need to do.”

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