Rip to you guys but my queerness is inherently virtuous. I'm non-binary in a special way that makes crops grow faster when I crank it.

You might think that Gerry Keay is super goth as an expression of rebellion against a strict upbringing and that's the stereotype about alternative lifestyles, but let's think about it harder. Given his mother was an actual witch who is described as bald and covered in visible sanskrit tattoos that she put on herself in order to achieve immortality, it's probably more a sign of him adhering to familial custom.

Gerry is basically the equivalent of those Catholic girls that leave the faith but still wear long skirts and dress modestly because, "Well it's what I'm used to, I guess."

hello thank u i laughed v hard at that tag and i said to myself “wow this would be a fun little animation project to do slowly over time as a break between my other art pieces!” as i proceeded to spend my entire friday evening on it

a…. sequel? to my last tma post

hello ive finally tried out the animation tools in clip studio paint and they are SO! MUCH! FUN! i may have to do more of these

Hey shout out to every custodial/sanitation worker taking out and cleaning up literal hot garbage so that the rest of us can go about our summer days like it doesn’t exist

Glad to see this resonated with someone, respect custodial staff or die<3

At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.

The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"

I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.

Our flight is delayed.

He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.

I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".

Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.

Uh oh.

Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.

The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.

He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.

HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.

I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.

"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."

"OR ELSE WHAT?"

"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"

"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"

"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"

"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"

*hangs up phone*

*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*

The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.

"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"

Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.

Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.

1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.

2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.

3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.

"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say

"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."

"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.

4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.

"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.

"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"

"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"

"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."

"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."

"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"

"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.

"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.

Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.

1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.

2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.

3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.

4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.

5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.

Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:

:)

Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!

Another inimitable epic from @gallusrostromegalus.

paleontologist: can you draw this extinct reptile we just described? 

paleoartist: that’s what i do!

paleontologist: it’s canadian make sure it looks canadian.

paleoartist: say no more

One of the other Botanical Illustrators I know submitted a pretty complex illustrated taxanomic diagram of extinct water plants for her Master’s ceritifcation and I was part of the crit group.

It was a really impressive document- there’s a lot of branches and sub-groups and I think she had a total of 22 illustrations to show the important features that distinguished each group, and each important group was defined by color- there was a blue group, where each species was a different shade of blue but they were all Blue, and a red group and a gold group and so on.  The overall effect was really pretty and did a great job of making this big hairy chart a lot more readable but…

They were all in the colors of a the hemospectrum.

In her defense: it worked GREAT, and it was a fun nod to people in on the joke, but it kind of backfired on her when our supervisng professor asked her “What inspired your choices for color-coding?”

“Its, uh.  Based on a fictional biological cladistics system.  From a webcomic.”  She said.

“Oh. That might need to be changed so you don’t run afoul of copright law.”

“I know the comic she’s talking about, It’d be pretty easy to claim this as ‘fair use’ because it’s based on the rainbow as it is, and if you really wanted to be sure you could just email the author. He’d probably think it was hysterical.”

IDK if Shelly ever got her email back from Hussie but she did get her master’s ceritifcation. 

So yes, if scientific illustrators are given an inch of leeway to do funny things with color, composition, or any design element, we will engage in shenanigans.

#the shadow on the ground showing its actually in the game is the best part

it is very much in game, here’s it being attacked by bees

WHY IS DRAWING HANDS SO FUCKING HARD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

you just gotta figure out how to do the mitten thing! (everybody does it differently, so whatever works for you)

make a little mitten shape, a bump for the big thumb muscle, a line for where you want to knuckles to be (and where the fingers end), and you can work out how the hand does hand things~

you can make them more simple or more real, however you want! hands are weird, so don’t worry if they keep looking wrong for a while, once you figure out what works for you, it’ll click. If you practice like 10 or-so basic hand shapes, you can make slight variations on all those, and 10 turns into 20 different hand poses~

Good luck, you can do it, practice until you find your groove, hands are stupid, don’t worry if they don’t look right!

you are a fucking saint x2

I haven’t got a single speck of artistic skill in me but I will reblog for any artist that might find this useful

i still hate y’all bitches who say oc x canon shit is cringe like bitch you have ANY idea how flattered i would be if someone made an oc for my fantasy world? how utterly PSYCHED my ass would be they loved a character so much they fleshed out one themselves just 2 be with one of mine? fuck y’all haters

And whata fucking bout it? Who gives a fuck? Does it hurt you, does it break into your home and steal your meemaw’s ashes? Does it spit on your holy symbol? No? Then shut the fuck up

you twittypets abandoned us when karpstar betrayed us.... and now you come crawling back to tumblrclan now that muskstar is ruling over... this clan isnt fond of you twittypets.

shhhhh guys be quiet we need to be quiet or else the bears will hear us. as long as we all keep quiet (everyone liking this post) we will be fine just don't do anything to alert the bears okay?

ASSERT THE PEARS?? HUH??

SHHHH OH MY GOD STOP THE BEARS ARE LOOKING THIS WAY

?

everyone be quiet oh my fucking god ....

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:33 < jegus fuck!!

"What was that?"

...

"Must be my imagination."

HoNk :o)

you two Homestuck motherfuckers better shut the fuck up or I swear to GOD.

:33 < whoopsies okay i will be extra quiet!

Thank you nepeta from Homestuck. It looks like the bear has left, I think we can all quietly head back to the car...wait...where's the fucking car?

MY FUCKING CAR

Post cancelled, MOTHERFUCKING DYKEYAOI?? ARE U KIDDING ME?? That's the coolest fucking username ever. What's next? faggotyuri??

@faggotyuri :D

Hey what's going on in this thread

HOLY SHIT FAGGOTYURI

Everyone give it up for @Dykeyaoi and @Faggotyuri make sure to clap really really loud 📢

@dykeyaoi and @faggotyuri have pleased the bears, we are saved

Yes officer that's the bear that stole my fucking car get his ass

You're scaring me

it’s really important that you are a little bit in love with your friends btw. it’s crucial even

a lot of people seem confused by this post so i’ll clarify: this does not have to mean you’re romantically involved w your friends. you can love them very intensely but platonically. you can let the lines blur if you want. what matters is that you adore the ppl you choose to surround yourself with. the details of that aren’t so important as long as you and your friends are on the same page about it. hope this helps

you will probably not look like a skinny white anime girl when you transition you will likely look like someone's mom and you need to realize how swag this is

I saw a picture of my mom last week and did a double take because we both realized how similar we look. skinny white anime girls are not real women but your mom is. I promise you look like a real woman

Shoutouts to the funniest possible tags on this post

like the thing with senator armstrong that makes him so iconic and dare i say realistic even though he only has like one scene and spends it throwing cars at a cyborg ninja is that he correctly identified the symptoms - modern media and consumerist culture is geared towards providing an endless stream of bullshit that doesn’t matter in order to distract the masses and keep them complacent - but because he never actually struggled a day in his life he’s completely wrong about what it’s a symptom of, and therefore, what the solution is. everyone is fucking sick of late stage capitalism! it’s not meant to actually benefit anything other than the line that shows the profits going up and even this guy at the top of the food chain thinks its a load of shit. armstrong and raiden actually agree on that part. but raiden is the saddest wettest most pathetic poor little meow meow who suffered every possible crime against humanity as well as being forced to perpetuate those crimes himself so he correctly identifies that the media spectacle is meant to distract from the blood of the weak that oils the machines while armstrong thinks it’s meant to distract the strong from the fact that they could totally kill people with their bare hands and only pussies rely on the machine to squeeze the blood out of the weak. which makes him fucking insane! and at the same time an incredibly real portrayal of the way upper class white men feel alienated by the system built from the ground up to benefit them and radicalise into being batshit insane precisely because the system has always benefited them but they’re still unsatisfied so instead of continuing to adhere to the rules of this alienating society they think the world should just be a complete free for all in which they’ll surely still come out on top. and even though he absolutely and undeniably is a villain, when he’s screaming “fuck the internet fuck the 24/7 stream of internet celebrity bullshit fuck all of this” you still wanna scream it with him because we all hate it here

senator armstrong taking a page from the alt-right playbook of identifying the problems correctly and then putting the blame on the jews/immigrants/disabled/overall minorities, and then literally saying the “make america great again” back in 2013 really resonates with current times indeed

Why are agriculture classes the first time I've learned extremely basic info about nutrition and how digestion works. Why isn't this stuff in health textbooks or any easily accessible resource about healthy eating.

I dont want to talk in excessive depth about it because i'm not an expert, but it's like...the agriculture textbooks go into detail about what the nutrients do for the body and how they are broken down, in the animal agriculture class talking primarily about how to feed your animals, the plant agriculture class talking about why certain crops are grown and how the agriculture system has to meet human needs.

The animal agriculture class was the first time I experienced each macronutrient (fats, proteins, carbohydrates) being discussed in depth from the point of view of being needs that MUST be met, rather than things it's "okay" to eat "in moderation."

My college health class actually used the word "macronutrient," but it still mostly described fats and carbohydrates in terms of their calorie content and didn't go into the same amount of depth about them.

My animal agriculture class on the other hand, was the first time I'd been taught in a class that the amount of nutrition absorbed from eating food varies depending on genetics, environmental factors, what the digestive system is accustomed to processing and what it was conditioned to process during development, and mechanical aspects of the digestion process like how much it is broken down by chewing (!!). Of course it was discussing these things from the point of view of like, cows, but it was really striking to me that I'd never been taught about human digestion from this point of view, where digestion is a complex process that can be affected by various biological and environmental factors.

At the beginning of the class we did a lab where we went over feedstuff analysis, and this was the first time I'd learned about where the numbers in nutrition labels come from, the kind of tests that are done to break food down to its components.

The class discussed how the digestibility of food was analyzed by testing the food, feeding animals the food, collecting the feces, and doing the same tests on the fecal matter to determine how much of the starting nutritional content was literally just going out the other end.

This raised a lot of questions for me: I don't think Pop-Tarts are analyzed by confining a human volunteer to a small room and feeding them only Pop-Tarts, then doing lab tests on their poop. Does that mean we know even less about feeding humans than we do animals? At any rate, nutrition labels would have to be rough estimates to begin with, and then accounting for the variability in the way bodies process food, it's even less descriptive.

Now i'm in plant agriculture, and I'm learning about the different types of proteins and fats and what plants and/or animals they come from. There are different types of protein with different sources. There are...nine? I think? different amino acids that have to be consumed in the diet, and different foods contain different ones?? The reason combinations of grains and legumes are so common as staple diets throughout the world, is that this is closest to being nutritionally complete for humans???

And also protein supplements are mostly useless unless you're an Olympian or something, because the body doesn't have a way to store protein for later. If you eat protein and your body doesn't have an immediate use for it, it just gets taken apart in your liver and you pee it out. Sports greatly increase your need for energy far more than they increase your need for protein, but everyone thinks you should eat a ton of protein as an athlete and that carbohydrates are unhealthy.

I learned from the same chapter WHY fiber is important to help digestion (having texture to the stuff in your gut stimulates peristalsis which is the muscular movements that push things along).

I feel really weird and resentful about health textbooks and classes now, because it feels like they didn't want us to have the facts on how our bodies work, and instead just taught us to see certain foods as "good" or "bad," as though it was more important to be afraid of "unhealthy" food than to understand why food is needed. Health classes barely teach why food is needed.

Like, vegetables are seen as the quintessential "healthy" food, but what is traditionally seen as "vegetables" are mainly important because they provide micronutrients, fiber, and water (the water content in food is actually a big deal). There's a reason they aren't staple foods. You need carbohydrates and fats to live. Period.

I say "what is traditionally seen as vegetables" because it's an incoherent category nutritionally. Beans, sweet potatoes, and spinach are doing very different things for your body. Are beans even a vegetable? Clearly "comes from a plant" isn't the main criteria since grains, nuts, and fruits aren't considered vegetables.

So like, the "myplate" graphic (and the "food pyramid" that came before it)? Total bullshit basically.

It's really frustrating how writings on healthy eating assume you are probably already eating too much or are at risk of overeating. I learned very young about the harms of being "overweight" and eating too much of a certain nutrient. But I just realized from my reading in the plant agriculture class that I had never read a resource that teaches in the same detail about the harms of undernutrition.

It's so easy to fail to get the nutrients you need, holy shit. Particularly protein, because it isn't one thing, it's a bunch of different types of molecule pieces that are found in varying amounts in different foods. People who eat animal products or soy don't have to worry about it very much, since they are essentially complete in terms of protein, but if you are a vegan who doesn't/can't eat soy as a staple, you HAVE to be careful to eat a variety of foods that complement each other in terms of what they're lacking. There's something called the PDCAAS that rates each food by the amino acids they contain, but generally the best idea is to eat a bunch of grains and legumes.

I'm not saying that people can be "scared straight" out of developing eating disorders. But I am saying that young people can benefit from being exposed to scary information when they have the power to possibly encounter situations where that information is applicable. And the horrifying realization of what starvation is and does is such an information.

My plant agriculture text explained that carbohydrates and fats are the basic sources of energy under normal circumstances, and that it takes around 1,600 kcal per day to run your internal organs. Protein is only used for energy in unusual circumstances. When fat reserves are exhausted and there isn't any food, the body starts breaking down proteins for calories—and the first ones to go are the ones that are already all throughout the bloodstream, found in YOUR ANTIBODIES. That's right, when you run out of fat to burn off, your body starts EATING ITS OWN IMMUNE SYSTEM.

The plant agriculture book also says that digestion and energy needs vary from person to person, like literally when different people eat the same meal their blood sugar rises different amounts, and that how the body decides to store energy or use energy stores is determined by complicated feedback loops controlled by hormones. Meanwhile the average person thinks that it's a matter of "eat too much = get fat and unhealthy, eat less = lose weight and be healthier" and even the college health class I took used more or less this model.

Like people are walking around with this completely wrong idea of how their bodies work and making AWFUL decisions based upon it because the resources they have to educate them think it's more important to...make people afraid of food? I don't think it's even common knowledge that the body burns most of the calories you consume just from existing. I want to chew concrete.

Why don't we teach everyone in school why staple foods are staple foods?! Not even getting into people who are so deep into eating disorders they think carrots have too much sugar, it's so normal to do things like "cut out bread" or "cut out carbs" (????!??!) and to perceive hunger as an innately untrustworthy thing, when genuine success at dieting like this is a great way to Corn On The Kill Yourself.

I'm just kind of reeling right now at how much research and monitoring it would take to safely diet in the ways people constantly attempt to diet with NO research NO supervision NO medical testing, 100% believing that they are doing something good for their health.

If people aren't taught what a macronutrient is and why you will die without it, they will think celery sticks are a "healthy" substitute for a chocolate chip cookie, and then not understand why they feel like shit.

Also... this is slightly different, but it's connected to the problem of "people not understanding what food does to the body". In the animal agriculture class, it was surprising to me how in livestock animals, things like muscle and fat composition are strongly genetically determined. All the modern breeds of cattle, pigs, chickens, etc. used in corporate farming have been bred to be very lean and have very little fat while having huge amounts of muscle tissue, because that's what the modern consumer wants in meat.

With pigs, a lot of older heritage pig breeds were bred to store most of what they ate as fat, because pigs were used to change food waste into lard that could be added to cooking for flavor and calories. And most of these breeds either went extinct or dwindled severely to be replaced by "meat" breed pigs that don't put on very much fat at all.

With humans, "everyone knows" that the amount of fat and muscle in your body comes from what you eat and how much you exercise. But a feedlot-finished beef cow that spends the last several months of its life doing nothing but gorging itself on carbohydrates will stay lean and put on muscle because it's genetically predisposed to.

It violates common sense and yet a multi-billion-dollar industry revolves around cramming animals into a small area without much room to do anything, feeding the animals whatever crap has the most calories in it, and ending up with a lean, muscular carcass.

I think being a shapeshifter would fix me

being a shapeshifter would fix me and make me worse

I'd be having a grand ol' time. Everyone else? Not so much.