I really hate the concept of “little t trauma”. Hate it.
“Big T Trauma”, the logic goes, is for things that are “actually bad enough’, like war veterans or rape survivors. Or people who survive natural disasters or terrorist attacks or car accidents.* “Little t trauma” is said to be for things like “interpersonal conflict”, infidelity, divorce, “financial worries or difficulty”, “legal trouble”, “death of a pet”, “bullying or harassment”, “loss of significant relationships”, or emotional abuse.*
*Examples taken from various articles on the subject I just looked up in preparation for this rant.
Plenty of people survive car accidents and sexual assault and war without lasting mental health issues.
The perceived severity of the traumatic event doesn’t actually matter. What matters is how your brain reacted to it.
You can have PTSD or other serious traumagenic disorders from bullying at school, or “just” emotional abuse, or neglect, or just from not having your needs met. If you’re marinating in stress long enough, it causes SO MANY problems.
Poverty is extremely traumatic! Your brain doesn’t necessarily understand the difference between “someone is routinely causing me serious physical harm” and “we run out of money for food by the third week of the month”. It just knows to interpret these things as threats to your continued survival. They cause you to produce stress hormones and other physiological responses. I’ve probably known people who have severe, ongoing issues due to just about everything on that list!
Your brain is trying to make sure you don’t die, and all the fucking logic in the world about “Well I wasn’t ACTUALLY in danger” or “Well she wouldn’t really have hit me” or “it was just kids being kids” doesn’t change that.
Every single trauma survivor I’ve ever known has thought that what happened to them Wasn’t Bad Enough to Count, because Other People Have it Worse. Every single one.
I think we’re so close to starting to realize that, as it turns out, a whole metric FUCKTON of people have experienced traumatic events and it’s affected a LOT more people than we initially believed. We’ve started to understand that it’s not just war vets who get PTSD.
But it’s like we’re desperate to come up with a reason that no, actually, it’s not that the systems we have in place routinely damage people severely - or that a lot of very common parenting techniques cause serious harm. We have to subdivide it further into little categories, and you should stop being so dramatic. OBVIOUSLY it that wasn’t bad enough.
To be clear, I understand that this terminology was PROBABLY well-intentioned. “Look, a whole host of experiences can be trauma! We should acknowledge that!” - or at least I hope it was. But it’s that implied “[but obviously it’s not as bad as the people who have REAL problems. Don’t you know some people had to deal with TERRORISM!?]” that makes it bullshit.
People who are really struggling with awful, serious things already have enough trouble being taken seriously and taking their own pain seriously.
This concludes your irregularly scheduled rant about how mental health is discussed.