Disregarding the lives and reality of people just because you would like a neater definition of the word “lesbian” is disrespectful at the very least, and actively harmful in the long run.
Would some trans men be dysphoric with a lesbian partner because it would invalidate their gender? Would some lesbians never date a trans man because he is a man and therefore not included in how they experience lesbianism? Yes, and neither of them deserves to be uncomfortable, and to go a bit further, neither of them are wrong.
But that does not mean this is the case for everyone and that has to be realized and accepted. Trans men/mascs in lesbian spaces is not a relic of the past (or as some people like to claim, an previously unforeseen phenomenon with no cultural or historical backing), it is people’s current lived realities!!!
Stone, and I cannot stress this enough, butch blues