Pillsbury Doughboy with arms raised joyfully in the air – "HE IS RISEN! HAPPY EASTER!"

Pillsbury Doughboy with arms raised joyfully in the air, but with his usual puffiness replaced by the mottled appearance of unleavened crackers – "HE IS NOT! HAPPY PASSOVER!"

Pillsbury Doughboy with one arm raised as though signaling – "HE IS OFF LIMITS UNTIL SUNDOWN! HAPPY RAMADAN!"

Pillsbury Doughboy with arms folded across his chest – "HE IS AN OFFERING TO THE ANCESTORS! GOOD WISHES FOR QINGMING!"

• The Easter Doughboy's text is a play on the leavening of baked products made by the Pillsbury company, as well as the belief of Christ's resurrection ("He is risen") celebrated at Easter;
• The Passover Doughboy's text is a reference to the practice of consuming unleavened cracker-like flatbreads (matzah or matzo) at the Jewish festival of Passover, when leavening is forbidden;
• The Ramadan Doughboy's text is a reference to the fasting month of Ramadan, when Muslims are forbidden from eating anything (including, presumably, a halal Pillsbury Doughboy) from dawn to sunset;
• The Qingming Doughboy's text is a reference to the practice of offering food to deceased ancestors at the Chinese Qingming festival (including, presumably, an edible Pillsbury Doughboy).

• Ramadan – early March to early April (dates may vary according to region).
• Easter – 31 March 2024.
• Qingming – 4 April 2024.
• Passover – 22 April 2024.

• Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real
• There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations
• Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that
• The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.
• There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)
• The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.
• Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.
• Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.