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To the next horizon

@driftingjazzbard / driftingjazzbard.tumblr.com

My name is Erin. I'll sing you a song or spin you a story in exchange for a coin, a meal, a place to sleep. My name is Erin. Buy a drink at the bar and I'll sing you low and soft to fall in love with me, but only until the song's end. My name is Erin. With my stories and songs I earn the few things that allow me to chase the mysteries of this beautiful world of ours. (Independent OC Faceclaim Cana Alberona Mun is 18+, had this blog with this muse since 2015 Mouse over pic for Rules and About)
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halfkuma
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"Hm. I do have quite a few of these unlabelled VHS tapes.."

Pulling the box from the top shelf again, he pulls out one of them. The gnarliest looking one, it's label torn and the word "curse" scrawled in chicken scratch, going deep in to the cassette's plastic.

Against his better judgement, he puts it in.

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"I have to destroy this! I HAVE TO DESTROY THIS!"

Panicked and distressed, the eject button is relentlessly pressed until the tape is released from the VCR, the cassette being thrown at the wall in abject terror.

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"Who.. Who makes something like this?"

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"Bitch please, this is nothing. At least this had a narrator. Boobahs are way more...brain melting."

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vhsmeme

* dark matter starters

dark matter is a novel by blake crouch. tw: self-harm and suicidal ideation.
  • how does that feel? ’  
  • you should eat something. ’ 
  • is everything okay? 
  • you have cuts all over your face. 
  • we’ll go someplace safe.
  • you’re in no condition –
  • there’s a car following us. 
  • you’re burning up, __. 
  • i can’t sleep. 
  • we’re all real proud of you.
  • don’t touch me! ’  
  • i should take you to the ER.
  • you’ll be right here?
  • i hope you’ll be more comfortable here.
  • what does your gut tell you? 
  • let me take you to the hospital.
  • stay with me.
  • i told you. we’re a family. 
  • keep your voice down.
  • what about me? 
  • last night, you asked me how we fix this. ’ 
  • turn around. 
  • i don’t need you doing something heroic.
  • you’ve been following me? ’ 
  • by the way, this is going to stay locked. ’ 
  • they carried you in here a little while ago.
  • i’m scared too. 
  • just fucking do it.
  • can’t you see it’s me? can’t you tell?
  • you don’t look fine. 
  • bullshit. 
  • is something wrong, and you’re not telling me? ’ 
  • so how serious is it? 
  • what’s in the bag?
  • i just need you to listen for a minute.  
  • __, are you having any thoughts of hurting yourself? 
  • you don’t get to –  
  • i really miss you.
  • my phone’s dead, so i borrowed one off this woman on the train.  
  • because i didn’t sign up for this shit. 
  • i know. i just didn’t want to wake you.
  • i’m not suicidal.  
  • you live with your choices and learn. 
  • i feel like i’m caught in a nightmare and i can’t wake myself up.
  • go to hell.    
  • you don’t remember? 
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banditborn

"You drive a hard bargain." He joked, gently wrapping his arms around her to rest them on her hips as he was showered in nuzzles and kisses. The old wolf soaked it all up, giving a gentle growl. His lips came to ghost over her soft skin, leaving kisses here and there.

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He had almost forgotten what life was like without Erin around, helping out, patiently waiting and playing her music. At first he wasn't sure whether it was smart to keep a human around a bunch of wolves but she had more than proven to him that he could trust her, and his pack for that matter.

"Let's get some rest then, the wound shouldn't be much of an issue by tomorrow anymore." Not like he could handle another night of her being so incredibly loving and irresistible.

He really was tired...which she knew, but it was confirmed by his acquiescence to resting, even as she teased him. She did wonder sometimes if he slept at all when he went on these hunting missions. She knew he was skilled, knew he was used to it...but she still worried. That was just how it worked when you loved someone, after all. He worried for her too when she went on trips.

Less often now, and not for as long. She was still curious, still fascinated with the world, but...home. This was home. Bandit had a knack for that.

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"I hope it isn't, the boys will be happy to see you." Which manifested itself a bit loudly when it came to the younger wolves. "Love you." One last kiss, at least for tonight, and as promised she stroked his hair and sang the old wolf to sleep.

At least until the noise downstairs indicated the boys were up.

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@driftingjazzbard replied: "I honestly wasn't aware that made a difference to you. I just hadn't seen you in awhile, wanted to make sure you were well."

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Oh, it's quite alright then. I am doing about as well as I can be, I also do apologize for being a touch short. It has been... A difficult few days.

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"I'm so sorry...is there anything I can do to help?" She wasn't sure what was going on with him, or if she could even understand it, but Milo was her friend too.

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You know? That sounds simply delightful. Let's do that.

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"Let's! And I can tell you how my nieces and nephews are doing as well. They've missed trips to see you terribly, and not only because you spoil them with pastries."

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@driftingjazzbard replied: "Ollie, darling! I missed you so much, how have you been?" (That question is for BOTH OF YOU)

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Busy mostly! Unfortunately as I said, time just got away from me and I kept forgetting to check back here! How about you Miss Erin? I trust you have been well?

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"It's been a ride, no question, but I imagine everyone can say the same in the world at the moment. I'm just glad to see you back."

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"...It's hard to say." He admits. "I was cloned from my brother, Rayos. As such I have memories of his life. It becomes hard to know where he ends, and I begin. Are these interests mine? Or just things my brother liked to do."

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"You should try something he's never done, then. Is there anything you want to do? Something you haven't tried?"

Her voice is gentle, like speaking to a spooked horse. "...Though it's no bad thing if you like things he liked as well. Siblings can have similar interests. That doesn't make them not your own. Most of my siblings are actors and musicians."

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"There is no 'think' involved. Neither of my brothers care for me. I'm simply an abomination that to them should never have come into existence."

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...

She gets up, and goes to sit beside the man.

"...Tell me about something you enjoy. Something that's not bloodshed. I'll tell you a story in exchange."

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"This is my story. He chose to chase pitiful things like love. I chose to chase conquest. I'm following a different path. One of blood and conquest, where I bring the world to its knees. That is my story."

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"Your story is defined by your feelings for your brother. This conquest is defined by your feelings for him. You don't want to rule, you want to break things because he loved them more than you think he loved you. You want to hurt him. You're not fooling anyone."

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"And do you think that's my motive? Love? How terribly human of you. I don't care for such things. My goals are much more... Material. My original spent his life chasing love, the love of his brother and that want destroyed him. I won't make the mistake of obsessing over things like love that don't matter."

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"Things like love are the only things that matter. Love, beauty, knowledge...they are the only things that are truly yours, because they come from within you. Everything ends. Someday even you will pass, somehow, and everything you've conquered, every man you've forced to kneel will be lost to you, your power will trickle away with your blood, and you'll be forced to confront that you have nothing left. You will look back on your path and see only ash and bone."

"I'm sorry your brother was so blind, but...don't you want your own life? Not defined by him. Your own path, your own story."

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"The cowardly snake prince? He's not my equal he is a mere mortal. But me? I am something eternal. I cannot be killed, I cannot be beaten. And I certainly wouldn't run from a fight as he had."

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"You are a child, screaming for attention, breaking things and getting upset when it earns you no love. You are sad and small and I feel sorry for you, because nothing you do will fill the emptiness in you. You speak words you think sound grandiose but they all ring so, so hollow, like you're performing in a play."

"My presence here confirms that all you want is someone to look at you. You didn't even know why I was important to them, did you? You just wanted to have something Xaos had without understanding any form of value."

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"Maybe I'd negotiate if I were among equals. But unfortunately, no such thing exists. Do you speak to the bugs before you stomp them out?"

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"I try not to kill things unnecessarily. They've got as much right to life as I do, and I give thanks for the meat I eat. You've got plenty of equals. Talk to Ryan, he's getting over your mindset. Other people aren't real, he's inherently better, rulership for the sake of it and nothing more. They crank out men like you by the dozen. As I said, it's easier than thinking."

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"I have no interest in negotiating. If a civilization is given the option to submit and choose not to take they will lay dead in the bed they have made. They should consider themselves lucky I even present submission as an option."

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"Of course you don't. Negotiating, discussing, understanding? These take thought and work. Breaking everything? Now there's something quick and easy. Just like any conqueror, you're no leader. You're just a spoiled child, breaking others' toys and then getting upset when that doesn't make you feel any better."

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"Except I have assimilated and taken over kingdoms. I just destroyed those who would not submit. My empire currently has taken over three kingdoms, I've merely destroyed two."

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"Conquerors who raze and burn for no other reason than a sense of power over others are as common as they come in human history I'm afraid. Cruelty and violence are the choices of the weak of mind and heart. Smashing a mirror rather than looking into it is the simplest thing in the world."

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halfkuma
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