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Small Fat & Mighty

@marchingjaybird / marchingjaybird.tumblr.com

one of the old garbage aunties of Tumblr. kind of a helpful bag lady really.
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deheerkonijn

little spoon!Leg for @loveandslander

I love the concept of elf-sleep and true-sleep. What if elves just fuckin………conk out for 18 hours and wake up forgetting what year it is when they true-sleep

hot take all elves ugly-sleep

Because we know that Legolas went days without sleep feelin’ spry as ever, I see this and I raise you 48 hours when they true-sleep

@what-your-elf-eyes-see Not only am I into this, I’m obsessed with this. What if the reason why elves don’t really like to true-sleep is because they’re basically comatose and it makes them super vulnerable?

It takes him a minute to get started back up again, he’ll get there.

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The Good Omens Cross-Stitch Pattern: Now Available!

The Good Omens Cross-Stitch is now available! 60 DMC colors, 286H x 429W. Colors, sizing information, and instructions are listed on the last page of the pattern. Details under the cut.

The original art is by our very own @tio-trile, linked, as deserved, on the official Good Omens Twitter! 

This pattern is available for free! If you would like to donate, though, I do have a ko-fi

If you have any issues with downloading the pattern, try it in an incognito window, and if that doesn’t work, please let me know. 

Happy stitching! xx Darcy 

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tio-trile

This is incredible 😮😮😮!!!!

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING

It’s a baby Jacana. They use those ridiculous stick-figur toes to evenly distribute their weight as  they walk around on waterlillies and stuff. Like snowshoes, but for swamps.

Here’s an adult:

Another really interesting thing about Jacanas is that it’s the dad who does all the child rearing while mom goes off to lay more eggs. Amd their really good dads too! Plus look at how they Cary their babies around!:

All aboard the dadbus

It awesome and wholesome, but the baby legs make dad look like some alien arthropod monstrosity wearing a feather suit.

Source: 500px.com
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heather franzen

One year ago, I finished my Scaredy Cat story! It got a daily deviation on Deviantart, which completely made my day. I was so happy. It also got several notes when I posted it on Tumblr. Then this person posts the entire thing last spring and as of today it has 304,000 notes. Seriously?? I cannot even comprehend that large of a number. I have never had 300,000 of anything before! HAPPY HALLOWEEN! It makes me happy knowing that so many people enjoy my story :)

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There is a specific and terrifying difference between “never were” monsters and “are not anymore” monsters

“The thing that was not a deer” implies a creature which mimics a deer but imperfectly and the details which are wrong are what makes it terrifying

“The thing that was not a deer anymore” on the other hand implies a thing that USED to be a deer before it was somehow mutated, possessed, parasitically controlled or reanimated improperly and what makes THAT terrifying is the details that are still right and recognizable poking out of all the wrong and horrible malformations.

hey I totally fucked up and forgot the 3rd type, which is “Is Not Anymore And Maybe Never Was” monsters “The thing which was no longer a deer and maybe never was” implies a creature that, at first glance, completely appears to be a deer, but over time degrades very slowly until you realize (probably too late) that it is not a deer anymore, and had you seen it in this state first, you wouldn’t have recognized it as a deer at all, and there’s a decent chance that it was never actually a deer to begin with but only a very good mimic, and what makes this one scary is the slow change from everything being right to everything being wrong, happening slowly enough that you don’t even notice it until its too late, as well as the fact that something now so clearly not a deer could have fooled you to begin with.

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endreal

No idea if this commentary adds anything or not but since monsters are generally couched in terms of danger and threat, and therefore fear, in my mind these posts broke themselves down kinda like this:

The “was not a deer” monster speaks to fear born of deception, dangers that approach under the guise of familiarity, with varying levels of success to infiltrate the familiar before lashing out

The “not a deer anymore” monster speaks to fear born of coercion. Whatever it is was once familiar and perhaps even comforting but through the action of another agent the familiar has become grotesque and dangerous.

The “…and maybe never was a deer” monster speaks to fear born of self-doubt. Most people spend most of the time in a sense of vague assurance that they’re doing the right thing, or at least a right thing, in the situation they find themselves in. This fear lies in the danger of *thinking* you understood, only to be eviscerated by the cruelty of “no…you were never correct, and this is your consequence.”

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tlbodine

Yes this. Good analysis. 

Actually, in light of this I’d like to propose yet one more type of monster to this list. The monster is a deer. But you realize you were very, very wrong about what deer are like.

The deer itself has not changed, you were just wrong about deer from the very start.

This was horrifying to read while high and now I have an unhealthy fear of deer in general so thanks for that.

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