Me: (several paragraphs detailing my newfound fear of having a child who does not share my allergies and having my own kitchen become a hostile environment for me)
Boytoy: Bread. Room.
New fear unlocked: having a kid that isn’t allergic to wheat (like me). So then instead of it being like the house I grew up in which was mostly wheat free + whatever few wheat-containing items my stepdad had kept away from the general household food, I would be outnumbered and it would be a normal household where I would have to cook with wheat containing items and safeguard my wheat free things and be hyper vigilant about cross contamination instead of just keeping the wheat things sequestered.
Like I hate the idea of having to live like I’m at my friend’s house instead of my own kitchen where cross contamination isn’t a concern and I only cook things I can eat
Day 114 of trying to seduce the guy I’ve been seeing: Wore a dress that tik tok said guys like. All it did was make his cat more scared of me.
“I’m glad the other people in my orchestra that also work at my facility got our concert in the newsletter but I hope my boss doesn’t notice I’m in the picture”
(My instrument takes up literally half the frame)
“Crap”
(To preface, this is a conversation with a mixed asian girl)
“I hate the sound of asian men being happy”
“(Choking noises) Ok that’s an interesting perspective, uh, WHY? Also WHY would you say that out loud? Especially here, where there are 3-5 Asian men in earshot?”
“I dunno, daddy issues? The sound of an asian man laughing just fills me with hatred?”
“(Having a stroke) I mean I know your least favorite men happen to have been asian, but you don’t even know that guy why can’t he be happy?”
“I dunno it’s just the sound.”
“Dude you could have an asian son some day. I worry about him.”
“(Dawning realization of horror) Oh my God. If I have a son I will have an asian son.”
“Yeah That’s how having children works. You’re asian, so your children will be asian. And you could have a son.”
“I- I need to lie down.”
“Yeah so I got this quilt at freshman orientation because I didn’t know we had to stay overnight. My feet were cold and I have no idea where the blanket is now.”
“It’s on your couch.”
“… yeah. Wait yeah you’re right it is. … I’m sorry you’ve been to my house twice and have never even been on my couch HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THAT”
Had the boytoy meet some of my friends at a pool party one of them threw (the only other time I introducted someone to them, it went badly so I was terrified).
In hindsight, everybody meeting each other while half naked probably wasn't the most laid back option.
My mom, when I was 16: I mean, there is nothing wrong with you wearing a bikini. But there is a huge difference between a 16 year old wearing a string bikini and an adult wearing a string bikini. And I appreciate that you are being modest at your age and fully support this decision.
My mom, now that I’m 23: You invited a man you like to your friends’ pool party? Do you have a swimsuit? Is it sexy? Do we need to go swimsuit shopping? (Grabs keys before I even respond) We’ll go swimsuit shopping right now.
Was it anti feminist to assume a group of 7 girls huddled around a flat tire needed help or was it a feminism win that I changed it instead of some random guy?
Boytoy: (making aggressive eye contact)
Me, wore a low cut top on purpose: … my tits are down here???
boopboopboopbadoop reblogged
“If Aang hadn’t run away Katara would be the avatar” “If Aang hadn’t been frozen in ice Yue would’ve been the avatar” wrong. Aang dies with the rest of the air nomads and the Fire Nation does everything to invade the northern and southern water tribes but has no luck until some 16 years later when Fire Lord Azulon gets jumped by some random swamp girl covered in mud and vines and she proceeds to absolutely whallop him. She is never heard from again by any government entity but the people of the earth kingdom tell stories about the wandering hag who will yell at spirits while eating bugs for years to come. She is then reincarnated as The Boulder
@deathsmallcaps tbh that tracks
boopboopboopbadoop reblogged
“God I’m so nervous to go to this guy’s house for the first time I feel like I’m gonna puke I will sit quietly and be a good guest to make a good impression”
(10 minutes later)
“So changing your dishwasher tablet and additives and stuff isn’t gonna help with the film until you (sticks hand deep in dishwasher and yanks filter out) clean this. (aggressively scrubbing filter) I had the same problem until my friend Mary yanked the filter out of my dishwasher and showed me all the nasty buildup.”
“THAT COMES OUT?! Oh my God there’s HAIR in there. How did that GET in there?!”
I love this and I love you. Proud of you!!!
@deathsmallcaps I just cleaned mine and as it turns out mine somehow had even more hair in it so I cannot judge
“God I’m so nervous to go to this guy’s house for the first time I feel like I’m gonna puke I will sit quietly and be a good guest to make a good impression”
(10 minutes later)
“So changing your dishwasher tablet and additives and stuff isn’t gonna help with the film until you (sticks hand deep in dishwasher and yanks filter out) clean this. (aggressively scrubbing filter) I had the same problem until my friend Mary yanked the filter out of my dishwasher and showed me all the nasty buildup.”
“THAT COMES OUT?! Oh my God there’s HAIR in there. How did that GET in there?!”
The professor I teach labs for and I have a great thing going, which is that we never talk. He likes me because he hears from me maybe once or twice a semester (unless I’m proctoring/grading his exams). I don’t need help, I don’t need to be reminded to grade/how to grade, I don’t need the experiments explained to me. I like him because he just lets me do what I want and doesn’t bother me.
I have one particular section that is testing my patience this semester. Two students are in danger of failing due to various issues. I am so used to private teaching for Karens I forgot this professor is the absolute king of “The students are pissing you off? The students are pissing ME off by pulling such bullshit that I actually have to talk to you. Fail them.”
There is a girl (3rd year almost 4th year grad student) in one of the labs on my floor and she thinks she is God’s gift to chemistry. Like she overhears one of us talking about a synthetic challenge to someone else in our lab and butts in with the most ridiculous advice (like “have you tried using [literally the most common and popular reagent]” of course that was the FIRST THING I TRIED)
So today she asks us what base we’d use for a certain reaction and we respond with [very common base, NaH] and she tells us that would chew up her molecule and starts sharing this awful challenge she’s been having. So I tell her some of the soft bases I use for similar transformations when I can’t use NaH and offer that if her lab doesn’t have any of them in inventory, I have all of them and we’d be happy to lend her up to a gram.
L at this point is smart and asks why exactly her molecule would not survive NaH and she lists two functional groups that 100% would survive with 0 issues.
So we agree it would be convenient for her to try NaH and if that doesn’t work, she has 3 other options I gave her.
15 minutes later, she texts us asking some questions about NaH that are a little sus. Like things that anybody who has ever used it would not need to ask. That you can GOOGLE. And it comes out that she’s never used this EXTREMELY COMMON AND POPULAR base.
Now obviously we did not laugh to her face and gave her our best protocols enthusiastically (her reaction did work🥳)
But she is so high and mighty all the time and condescending when she overhears our conversations, oF COURSE WE’RE LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY BEHIND HER BACK
I don't know why some of the students assume the other two TAs in the room and I have a rivalry or something.
We're women in STEM (the same field of chemistry at that). We share all our technical knowledge, department secrets, and hair accessories AND will drop kick any student who says anything about the other gals
“Oh my God stargazing that’s so romantic”
Girl how romantic is marching around a telescope chanting “SPACE BEES SPACE BEES”