hey cuties ! i had a super busy weekend after coming back from Florida. i should be on this week to work on a few things.
friendly reminder that while my moxxi is 90% in character, she’s also 10% bitter existence rage and no bullshit tolerance levels. i hope you enjoy
Anonymous asked:
‘ i felt bad about what i did. it was a weird feeling. not used to it. didn’t love it. ’ (from malevolign i hit ask limit)
♥︎ meme | the good place. ( @malevolign )
Whiskey, straight, and if something existed below the bottom shelf, that’s where she found it. It’s a little too opaque for her liking as it pours into the glass like amber fog; the musty scent hits her nose as it sloshes. Still, she offers it to him -- a vague gesture of a mediocre peace offering between two dainty fingers shoving forward. Part of her still has half a mind to throw it in his face ( it very well could be acid, but it’s been years since she mixed up those labels ) and another part of realizes that he might just be growing as a person. A super awful, fucked up person, but still a person.
She almost sneezes. Probably not then.
“ Sugar, that’s called guilt. I know, a new range of emotions you aren’t used to feeling... Like most of them, but you’ll adapt or you’ll just get petulantly aggressive, shut down, and ruin something of someone’s that you hold dear in a direct attempt to suppress your own shitty personality. ” Ah, that’s the whiskey in the face. Her cheeks hurt from the smile that spreads. She points to the glass for a moment, the vague thought of when his newly hired guns would be clamoring back races through her mind. “ -- And that’s on the house. ”
ampleinnuendo reblogged
whos your favorite bisexual bartender??
ampleinnuendo reblogged
✰ — — — BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SENTENCE STARTERS
‘ do you think we’re gonna die here tonight? ’ ‘ it’s horrifying, chilling… just over all not good. ’ ‘ should we just get this over with? ’ ‘ he’s a fucking criminal. ’ ‘ sharing is caring? meh, go fuck yourself. ’ ‘ oh god, um… oh my god, i fucking hate this. ’ ‘ stop banging on the door, you dick. ’ ‘ what. the fuck. is wrong with you. ’ ‘ i gotta be honest, this doesn’t really compel me very much. ’ ‘ that was a joke that i made and then it formed your opinion on it. ’ ‘ flip that switch. do you think that’s the murder switch? ’ ‘ this is embarrassing. this is embarrassing for you, i think. ’ ‘ no one’s ghost-proof. ’ ‘ i’m ghost-proof. ’ ‘ you’re not ghost-proof. you’re just an idiot who refuses to see proof. ’ ‘ i’m ghost-proof, baby! ’ ‘ that sounded like will smith! ’ ‘ is will smith dead? has anyone checked the news?! ’ ‘ the problem is if there’s something that attacks us down here, i’m going to hit my head on the ceiling and my skull will smash. ’ ‘ alright, buddy. keep your wits about ya. ’ ‘ let’s get the fuck out of here. ’ ‘ i kind of just looked into places that would make me wanna die and i think this checks that box. ’ ‘ did i just blind you? good, good, good. it’ll give you the vision. ’ ‘ take a drink! ’ ‘ i’m gonna get you all tanked. ’ ‘ what do you expect? what insight are you trying to gather from here? ’ ‘ maybe the noise is a little snake. can you imagine a little snake wrapped around a little pickaxe with a little hat on? ’ ‘ i’m not trying to do that whole dismissive thing, but… i’m dismissing it. ’ ‘ alright. alright, man. you just gotta chill. ’ ‘ i thought ‘glory hole’ used to mean something very innocuous, though. ’ ‘ it’s where the men fucked the earth hoping to impregnate it with gold. ’ ‘ a bug flew up my nose. ’ ‘ i think i’ve swallowed about six tablespoons of bugs at this point. ’ ‘ it’s so silent aside from the bugs in my ears. ’ ‘ a bat flew right behind you just now. ’ ‘ that bat was straight-up going for your ass… it was an ass bat. ’ ‘ dude, i’m so nervous. ’ ‘ how can you be nervous with a beautiful sunset like that? ’ ‘ there’s some pretty shitty things that have happened to people around here. ’ ‘ can you even look at least a little bit worried? ’ ‘ yeah, i’m fucking nervous, man. i feel like i’m gonna vomit. ’ ‘ we’re all assholes here. ’ ‘ i don’t know why i phrased it ‘lucky for us.’ i think i was feeling brave when i wrote this. ’ ‘ yeah, this isn’t lucky for you at all. ’ ‘ i’m gonna try and avoid saying ‘demon’ as much as i can. ’ ‘ i’m not gonna let you goad me into this, i know what you’re trying to do. ’ ‘ shut up. we’re moving on. ’ ‘ you know what? i’m not trying to scare you, but… i got a bad feeling about this one. ’ ‘ why are you unbuttoning your pants? we’re in public right now. ’ ‘ oh… you’ve out-dumbed yourself. ’ ‘ you know, i thought this was gonna be funny, but now i’m actually happy that i have it. ’ ‘ i’m a whole other coin. just like a chill ass wheat-back penny. ’ ‘ i’m doing it for the betterment of the science. ’ ‘ any demons here? you got any demons out tonight? any horn-y boys or whatever they are. ’ ‘ you may not like this… i’m gonna try to agitate it. ’ ‘ you do what you gotta do and i’ll do what i gotta do. ’ ‘ i’m just gonna be as crude as possible here. ’ ‘ no, no, no. just right out of the gate. why build up? ’ ‘ if you don’t believe then there’s nothing for you to be afraid of, right? ’ ‘ you can be is big of a prick as you want, but i’m staying over here. ’ ‘ if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to kill me. ’ ‘ nope! don’t loop me into your shit! ’ ‘ stop looping me. i hate when you do this to me in demon places. ’ ‘ i’m not part of his little charade. ’ ‘ children will come here and tell tales about me. ’ ‘ shut the fuck up – i’m gonna murder you. ’ ‘ oh what a load of horse shit. ’ ‘ oh, skip the theatrics and just go into it. ’ ‘ if you want me off this bridge, you’re gonna have to throw me off. ’ ‘ you gotta admit, that is an effective technique. ’ ‘ no, it’s not an effective technique. it’s a way to get killed. ’ ‘ that’s not how you get them, shut up. ’ ‘ when’s the last time you ever walked into the dark woods? ’ ‘ this is so much scarier than hunting fucking sasquatch. ’ ‘ people usually feel overcome with emotion in here, like a violent emotion. ’ ‘ give me a heads up if you start to feel murderous. i would appreciate that. ’ ‘ by the way, these woods are also scary because of the people that might be in there. ’ ‘ i mean, people are greater threats than demons or ghouls. ’ ‘ i can’t fight, you can’t fight. ’ ‘ you’re like one of those carwash floaty things that are out front just wiggling around. ’ ‘ anyone doing up to no good out here? ’ ‘ one of these times we’re gonna die. ’ ‘ oh shit! there’s something over there. i don’t know what it is, but the bushes are moving. ’ ‘ i just heard a scream. ’ ‘ well, if we just make it seem like we’re in on it, like… we’re here for the cult stuff. ’ ‘ we’re here for the cult stuff. we saw the ad on craigslist. ’ ‘ it feels weird to even joke. i’m so fucking scared right now. ’ ‘ oh sure they’d be hiding in the bushes. they’re cultists. ’ ‘ i keep collecting spiderwebs on my face and now i’m just sort of immune to them. i’m just letting them accumulate. ’ ‘ well, you are just a giant stick walking around. ’ ‘ oh, this looks fun… an odd collection of branches. looks like a witch lair or something. ’ ‘ hello? you can’t be doing occult stuff like this. it’s a weeknight. ’ ‘ dude, wait. you’re fucking crazy. ’ ‘ you need to chill. you need to chill out. ’ ‘ hey man, it’s just a plant. ’ ‘ we kicked goatman off the bridge, it’s ours now. ’ ‘ goatman, are you out here in the woo– well, he’s out here in the woods ‘cause he’s not tending to his bridge. ’ ‘ clearly. that’s why finders keepers and all that. ’ ‘ hey, if there’s cultists out there… i gotta let you know, my pal has a water gun. ’ ‘ i don’t like this, i don’t like this one bit. ’ ‘ we are hearing noise from all sides at this point. it’s very blair witch. ’ ‘ yeah, let’s leave. ’ ‘ the name ‘steve’ doesn’t really strike fear into the heart. ’ ‘ i’ll go along with this. fun gimmick. ’ ‘ well demons, it’s been fun. ’ ‘ as we snuff these candles so too do we snuff you from this mortal world, you fucking wimp. ’ ‘ this bridge is officially mine. they’ll tell legends of me here. ’ ‘ oh god, i feel like i’ve gone to the dark side. ’ ‘ just gloat a little bit. this is a win for you. ’
ampleinnuendo reblogged
hit that ♥︎ for a starter, sugars !
is it too on the nose to have tyreen’s url be: vaultdivine
‘ okay, that’s really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. ’
♥︎ meme | the good place.
“ What ? No, absolutely not. ” A nervous chuckle falls from her lips, painted and pursed. Reflexively fingers draw back upon the trigger of a pistol – old habits, die hard, some other aggressive bullshit rings in the back of her mind and she shrugs demur shoulders at the notion. It’s not hers, she knows that as the other hand palms the modified barrel before placing it down carefully against the bar.
Moxxi rarely had a habit of giving it up this early. She clears her throat,
“ I don’t know why don’t you believe me that I absolutely did not ask the Vault Hunters to maybe or perhaps find modified ATLUS tech to bring back to me so I could, but I would not and I did not, make a weapons modification to destroy a really vile ex of me that’s having a contest with the prize of getting to have sex with him. ” She inhales, pushing the totally not stolen technology towards wiry in stature CEO. She affixes a trade smile to her face, hoping to woo back some dignity at the very least. “ – No, definitely did not do that and Sugar, frankly, I’m hurt that you wouldn’t believe me. ”
/aggressive whispers: do i want to make a tyreen tho
#listen. y'all here don't know me the way i know me#bri. tori. anabell all do tho ... my villain prowess? second to none#maybe they might roll their eyes ( real respect they probs doing it)#but tyreen tho... i could... /wheezes#it's me. i hate to say it but it's ME#ahahaa laskdfj she's the worst parts of my personality and i'm not even mad#( — &. l a s t c a l l ; tbd )
real talk: how does moxxi get better with each game
‘ birth is a curse and existence is a prison. ’
♥︎ meme | the good place.
Manicured nails dip quickly into the previously offered glass, yanking award liquid favor. She ignores the stinging splash against unseen cuts and he doesn’t seem to notice her actions. If he does, he may be too doused in his own thoughts or aggressive diatribe. Moxxi rightfully doesn’t care ( – get that boy a ginger ale and call it a night, will you ? ). Still, she pours him another, weaker this time, and slides back into old motions, cautious and carefully crafted persona.
“ Alright, handsome – mind sanding down that edge for me a bit ? Not that it ain’t cute, but you don’t want any of your followers catching you on tape with that kind of attitude, hm ? Plus, you’re scaring the other customers. ”
‘ i felt bad about what i did. it was a weird feeling. not used to it. didn’t love it. ’
♥︎ meme | the good place.
She’s going to regret her choices. It’s now that she can see her name in lights – not the sultry flickering pink incandescences but the kind with those washed out bulbs that read, ironically, ‘ PANDORAN MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD ’ as she puts a small glass before the girl, now almost a woman, with a bare minimum amount of ’ beverage ‘ in it.
“ And it’ll only last as long as you let it, Sugarplum. I mean, jacking a car from a local bandit clan only to return it with all the parts stripped an explosive device that could have resulted in four different clan feuds might not have been your best move, but … Let’s just say that I’m not…. Not proud. ”
‘ i used to think about how it’s weird they don’t make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs. ’
♥︎ meme | the good place.
“ Sweet pea, those are called skirts. ” Laughter comes out like a hum and she clears a glass away from him. Water, again, nothing remotely intoxicating and yet… He’s a bit of a social sponge for those around him, like an incredibly awkward chameleon. “ Unless you’re talking about still having separate pant legs but one whole sheath to cover them… Like a pant skort. A Paskort. ” Her brow furrows as she drops the dirtied glass into the basin sink. “ Ew, never mind. I hate that I thought that. ”
ampleinnuendo reblogged
✰ — — — THE GOOD PLACE SENTENCE STARTERS
‘ hi, guys! i’m broken. ’ ‘ send nude pics of your heart to me. ’ ‘ man, repressing your feelings is great. ’ ‘ i just want to sit and stare at nothing and silently scream for the rest of time. ’ ‘ birth is a curse and existence is a prison. ’ ‘ it’s ancient history? it was happening until twenty seconds ago. ’ ‘ one of the perks of living alone is that i get to just walk around naked. ’ ‘ i’ll miss you too, you sexy skyscraper. ’ ‘ you were already at almost-maximum hotness, but now you look like a sexy, tan rapunzel. ugh, the dream. ’ ‘ well, hooking up with someone with the exact same name, it is kind of a fun, narcissistic fantasy… i could be into it. ’ ‘ so far, i’m the best student. i’m gonna be the velociraptor. ’ ‘ i feel like ‘friends’ in season eight, out of ideas and forcing joey and rachel together, even though it made no sense. ’ ‘ i once got lost on an escalator, so i’m not exactly christopher columbus. ’ ‘ we’ve been through this thousands of times. i mean, can you… just chill out? is that possible? ’ ‘ you deserve to be happy because you are an impressive, thoughtful, and special person… not to mention, you have a rockin’ bod. ’ ‘ any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. that’s how we got beyonce. ’ ‘ because of reasons. there are reasons! they exist and i don’t want to explain them right now. ’ ‘ i’m a canyon… full of poo-poo. ’ ‘ they are a couple and i am a third part of that couple. ’ ‘ it’s suddenly very important that i get drunk. ’ ‘ you got dreams in life? that’s lit. ’ ‘ be nicer to yourself. ’ ‘ how can i say no? …can i say no? ’ ‘ i don’t have a house. i live in a boundless void. ’ ‘ i have no idea what’s going on, but everyone is talking and i should too. ’ ‘ be nicer to yourself. ’ ‘ i’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kid’s menu. what a stupid age i am! ’ ‘ is this a game? i go first. i call blue! ’ ‘ aw, man. i wanted to push that button. not cool, dude. ’ ‘ we know everything. i don’t understand much of it, but you know, i know it. ’ ‘ that was my first time as a fashion ‘don’t’ and i did not care for it. ’ ‘ i’m just a girl, towering over a boy, asking him to admit he loves me. ’ ‘ hey there hot stuff, can i get you a cup of coffee? ’ ‘ do you have any feelings like that for me again now? ’ ‘ no, no, no, dude, dude, dude, you don’t have to explain yourself. we are on the same page. ’ ‘ i am revved up to learn, man. my brain is horny! ’ ‘ i used to think about how it’s weird they don’t make pants that are just one big pant leg for both your legs. ’ ‘ i felt bad about what i did. it was a weird feeling. not used to it. didn’t love it. ’ ‘ yeah, i love you. ugh, that’s embarrassing. i feel so itchy. ’ ‘ go fork yourself, you mean giraffe. ’ ‘ who needs a soulmate anyway? my soulmate will be… books. ’ ‘ what do we do? panic? freak? i usually panic, but i am happy to freak! ’ ‘ we’re gonna have assignments and quizzes and papers… it’s gonna be so much fun! ’ ‘ i’m in a perfect utopia and i have a stomachache. ’ ‘ i need to step outside for some air. and… i will not be back. for many days. ’ ‘ the point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. ’ ‘ yeah, dude. i’m not a monster… anymore. ’ ‘ i’m good. just hang out with her and name constellations after each other or whatever it is nerds do. i’m fine on my own. ’ ‘ i’m in this. we’re a team. ’ ‘ she makes the bass drop… in my heart. ’ ‘ is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? because it’s only kind of working. ’ ‘ ugh, of course your hugs are amazing. ’ ‘ okay, that’s really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that. ’ ‘ yeah, mm-hmm, everything is fine, it’s okay, yeah. i’m fine. so, it’s all fine. ’ ‘ look away! everybody look away. i’m going to keep watching, but you guys look away. ’ ‘ ugh, talking about your feelings is the worst. ’ ‘ i’ve been keeping a secret from you… about you. the thing is, it’s not even harming you and if i tell you i feel like it might harm you. so, uh, ethically speaking, i don’t think i have to tell you. ’ ‘ has anyone ever told you what a drag you are? ’ ‘ ‘bearer of bad news’? uh, i think you mean ‘bad news bear’. ’ ‘ honestly, the best move is to get another dude and just go to town. rebound guy. ’ ‘ but i am happy for them! i am! i am! am i? i am! i am not. i am not. i am not that. i am not happy for them. ’ ‘ i totally get it. i mean, he’s a ding dong, but also a straight hottie. ’ ‘ you want to hear his side? oh, no, no, no. that’ll only slow things down. ’ ‘ no! right? no, it felt like a no when i was doing it. ’ ‘ here’s the thing, i’m nice to you and you’re mean to me. there’s something wrong about that, but i can’t put my finger on it. ’ ‘ how am i doing? oh, well, you know… stomach’s in knots, i’m stress-grinding my teeth, and it feels like i’m being suffocated. ’ ‘ just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun. ’ ‘ just shove your feelings way deep down, plaster on a smile, and pretend your having fun… just like i do when someone starts talking about their kids. ’ ‘ how do i put this delicately… it’s all stupid garbage! ’ ‘ i’m sorry i dragged you into this. ’ ‘ i’m sorry that i never did laundry… and that i waited until you were about to do yours and secretly tossed mine into the basket to trick you into doing it. ’ ‘ that’s a very, very bad idea. don’t be yourself! ’ ‘ great. yet again, it’s everyone against me because everyone except me is an idiot. why am i the only person who clearly sees what’s going on here? ’
Lectra City is bright, a vivacious shade of neon and putrid hue. At it’s high, it had been the perfect place for a new bar, a new settlement into the bullshit business foray of a woman equal in infamy on Pandora as anywhere else in the galaxy -- garnering more coin than bandit bounties ever did yield. That and it allowed her to keep tabs on Kenneth ( Killavolt for his garbage pail fangirls ) and his bullshit.
Her fingers sweep across a dusty bar, eyes flicking to weary patrons who wore their exhaustion from the recent COV incursion readily on their shoulders. Yet what they also wear is the cautious eyes and careful glances, body language shifting towards the prideful stride and plop of cyber villainy incarnate... Without the peppy personality astride.
She stiffens for a moment at the sight of him, shoulders dropping and jaw clicking. Moxxi’s alliance with the Crimson Raiders had been rather under the radar, tucked beneath a proverbial hoop skirt and left to wither in vague radio broadcasts. Her fighting days were done, though support is often needed ( like amazing lingerie, truly, she understood that ) -- but harboring her loyalties now ? Evisceration seems like an awful way to go.
“ Now, aren’t you a bold one. ” It’s not a question and she clanks a glass down before him. She’s served worse, she thinks -- Jack, for one, Aurelia and Nisha. Names pop up and fizzle out like warm champagne and he’s nothing to her in those moments but cracking pixels. She smiles, readily and purrs in false confidence, “ -- woulda pegged you as double money, double pleasure. Didn’t think you rode solo from all those EchoNet vids. ” // @pcrasite