new plushie just dropped

A Tender Moment With Lucifer

Insecurity continued to torment Lucifer even after you came into his life, a consequence of his divorce with Lilith. He hoped that the feeling would go away with time, but it continued to chip away at his self-worth, threatening to seep into your relationship and poison the foundation the two of you had built on love and trust. So what did Lucifer do? Nothing—except cling onto you at every opportunity, especially when you were planning to head out.

“Don’t go,” Lucifer whined into your back, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

You closed your eyes and sighed, a smile growing on your face as you felt a gust of wind hit your back. “Luci,” You playfully warned him, but he ignored you, unraveling his wings and wrapping them around you so you wouldn’t leave with your friends, who you were on your way to meet up with at some restaurant.

“I just…really need you right now, alright?” Lucifer admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Please stay.”

That is how you found yourself on top of Lucifer, his hands squeezing your waist as you placed kiss after kiss on his lips. How many did you give him? One, two, three, four—you lost count a long time ago, your mind clouded with desire the moment he twitched in anticipation underneath you. But when Lucifer uttered ‘I want to feel you,’ you decided to stay, your phone vibrating with every missed call and unread message as you showed him how much you loved him.

Halfway into the act, you figured out why Lucifer was being so clingy, his voice betraying him when you moved your hips against his a certain way. “Oh, fuck, sweetheart,” He tossed his head back with a groan. “Don’t ever leave me—mmfh—couldn’t imagine eternity without you.” Your hips came at a standstill, making Lucifer whine in disappointment.

“I’m not going to—what?” You stuttered, realization dawning on his face as you blinked, obviously concerned. “Luci, baby, is that why you wanted me to stay?”

Lucifer instantly shook his head, tripping over his words as he tried to find a way out, so you grabbed his cheeks and made him look at you. “Only way I’d leave is if you told me to, y’know,” You said, proceeding to litter his face with kisses, making him laugh. “Besides that, you’re stuck with me forever!” It would take a lot more than that to help Lucifer feel more secure with your relationship, you knew that, but the way he stared back at you with a big goofy, lopsided grin made it all worth it to you.

"This is my weird son. He can't climb for shit, but he is handsome and strong."

#cats be like#is anybody adopt that#and don't wait for an answer

Everything that isn't food is a cat from the perspective of a cat. Cats can look upon the true form of eldritch monstrosities and keep their sanity. They'd just see another cat. A fucking weird-looking cat, but a cat nonetheless.

An always-reblog. 😄

(🎃x🐉)

sorry I needed to do this his tsum is so cute to not be squeezed when sleeping

to all my brown skin girls……. don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t pull off a certain colour bc it doesn’t “compliment your skin tone”. it’s all a fuckin lie. you are BEAUTIFUL and you should rock any damn colour you want

they’re so Lilo and Stitch coded 😭

Sebek: "OOOO...! What, what a dignified appearance..! Completely unlike the other tsums..!"

Sebek: "A Tsum resembling that of my lord... No, it would be rude to simply call you a Tsum. Out of respect, I shall address you as WAKATSUM-SAMA."

HE FLASHES AN ELEGANT POSE BECAUSE HE LIKES BEING CALLED WAKATSUM-SAMA 😭😭😭😭

SEBEK SINGS PRAISE AND THANKS IT FOR LETTING IT BE CALLED WAKATSUM-SAMA

I don’t care about it at all (I have carried its weight around like a rock on my chest since the very day it happened)

I headcanon that Husk used to turn up in weird places after a night of drinking.

Please go watch Sex Explained on Netflix. Not only is it a great resource for the basic sex education that is sorely lacking in the U.S., but some of ya’ll need to take a deep breath and remember the difference between fantasy vs reality. This purity culture thing that we’re going through right now is directly harmful to responsible, healthy sexual expression. BTW this woman, Lisa Diamond, is a noted psychologist and has been pushing for greater understanding of womens sexuality as a whole.

!!!!!!!!!!!

HCY Incorrect Quotes #9:

Eve *pointing to Reader*: “Actually I’d rather fuck her than you, too. I’d rather she and Lucifer went to town on me than even see your dick ever again.”

Adam:

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

I WISHED THAT HE’D TEXT ME AND HE DID WTF IS THIS SORCERY

✖Grunge✖

wish he would like me back 🥲

We live in the cursed timeline

No, we lived in the blessed timeline, because the creator of a harmless webcomic character that got turned into a meme sued the shit out of neo-nazis for appropriating his art and using it to recruit kids to their fucked up ideology.

ASMO BIRTHDAY ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

So you’ve got this bitch-ass fitted sheet that you would normally pile into a ball and shove into a closet so you won’t have to deal with it, yeah? Well. Quit acting like a piece of linen is better than you are. You can make a fitted sheet bend to your will. And here’s how…

First, put your sheet on the floor. Stand above it for a few seconds so it knows who’s boss.

Then, put your hand in the lower left corner so that it’s inside out. Do the same to the lower right corner.

Now, your lower left and right corners of the fitted sheet should be inside out. (Shoutout to Amy Poehler, love your work).

Then, take the lower left corner (that’s still inside out) and tuck it into the upper left corner. It should look like the picture above once you’re done. Then, do the same with your right corners.

It should look something like that. Right now, she’s your friend at the end of a good night out. Doesn’t look really bad, but you know she deserves better. 

Pull at the corners until you get something like this shape, as it makes it easier to fold. You’ve given your friend some plain white bread and a glass of water. She’s looking much more presentable now.

Now, pull in at the elastic until you make a rectangle. You’ll want to tuck and smooth the excess fabric away from the elastic seams and towards the closed edge of the fitted sheet.

Once you’ve got a (semi) neat rectangle, fold the the top of the sheet down about a third of the way through. I like to fold the upper part of the sheet down first, because it’s not as straight of an edge as the bottom. You can find your own meaning within that description.

Now, fold the lower portion of the sheet on top of the part you’ve already folded down.

Fold the left side of the sheet into the middle, and then fold the right side of the sheet on top of what you just folded. 

Congratulations. You just made a fitted sheet your bitch.

No but really, this has been the most complete and informative description of how to fold a fitted sheet I’ve ever seen. Very few that I’ve seen show the “bread and water” step.

obsessed with this stupid shirt i found at goodwill the other day