Slashers & Pizza
I’m hungover(ish) so here’s my headcanons for how the slashers take their pizza! Find your pizza twin here~
Michael likes a plain cheese pizza. He’s pretty straightforward and he’s not that adventurous when it comes to food. He’s used to surviving on boring bowls of lumpy grey porridge or tough slices of fatty meat and watery potatoes at Smith’s Grove so pizza is something of a luxury for him.
Any kind of pizza, any way. His sense of taste is a little wonky these days so spices or chilli oil slathered over it are always good. He’s a beast of a man and he can roll up and entire pizza and chomp it down in a few bites. Then he might move onto yours.
He’s just happy to be here! Drayton never gets pizza delivered and even if he tried it would be pretty tricky, especially in the middle of nowhere in Texas in the 1970s. So whenever one of the brothers brings home pizza from a run-down old diner closer to the city, Leatherface is just happy to try anything. He’s not the biggest fan of spicy foods so he tends to pick off any chillies.
Bo is a physical man and he could eat three pizzas and still have room for a sundae. He prefers meat feast pizzas, usually deep-pan if he can get them. Sometimes he’ll wander out on his own from Ambrose and stop off for food somewhere. It might seem greedy to the waitresses to eat a large pizza then get two more to go, but Bo would feel guilty having pizza without getting something for his brothers.
Vincent is into fusion food. He likes the new Asian-style pizzas with seafood on them. He’s experimental with food and there’s not much he doesn’t like. He eats slowly and thoughtfully. It’s always annoyed Bo. Mostly, Vincent chews slower than others because the deformed side of his face is tight and restricts his jaw’s movement.
Barbecue pizza! Lester loves salty sweet things. Lots of cheese, sticky Texas-style barbecue sauce, bacon… It reminds him of when his mother and father would work together in the summer, his father on the grill and his mother mixing sauces from her gramma’s special secret recipe. Lester always got to lick the bowl, not because Trudy gave it to him but because Vincent wasn’t always that hungry.
Freddy likes meaty pizzas. He has a particular taste for things that he can impale with his claws and his pizzas often end up slightly mutilated. He doesn’t care too much about the crust because he never really eats it.
Brahms has only had pizza once or twice in his life. It was always good; only the best for Mummy’s special boy. Mushrooms and truffle oil, rich tomato sauce, artisanal cheese… He has a taste for the finer things. And he doesn’t share.
The girls love pizza and movie night. Sometimes they have a girls’ night and sometimes the boyfriends are allowed to stay a few extra hours to cuddle up by the fire and watch some old horror flick. Once or twice when their order has arrived, one pizza is left unclaimed. They open the box to find a pizza piled high with everything from the menu. They assume it’s a mistake and leave it in the kitchen for the boys to take home and they never notice it going missing. The next time they order, they ask why there was an extra pizza on their order. The brusque pizza place owner quickly informs them that one of the girls called back after the order was placed to add it. It must be a joke.
Hawaiian pizza. Because of course.
Harry is an ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ kinda guy. He prefers the classics. Pepperoni with plenty cheese that he can lazily chomp on after a long day down the mines. All he needs is a pretty girl to curl up against his side and he’ll feel like the king of the world.
Pinhead doesn’t eat pizza for pleasure. Pizza is the opposite of pain and suffering. Unless the cheese is too hot.
Veggie pizzas! Carrie likes to build her own with different vegetable toppings. She always circles back to mushroom and sweetcorn though. Sadly she only eats a few slices before she stops herself. She doesn’t want to get fat or the other kids will bully her for it.
