Ummm...

Store Guy: I'm going to have to ask you to tell the kids to leave their scooters outside, sir.

Me: I don't really think it's appropriate for me to discipline them.

Store Guy: Well, that's a discussion for you and your family, but I still have to ask you to tell them, or you'll have to leave.

Me: I really think it's a matter for you.

Store Guy: Look, tell them or put down your shopping and leave.

Me: Okay, I guess. Hey, kids: leave your scooters at the entrance way!

Kids: *weeping*

Kids' Mother: Who the hell do you think you are?

Me: This gentleman informed me that if I did not discipline the kids he would ask me to leave.

Store Guy: I did.

Me: He wasn't in the mood to discuss it.

Store Guy: I was not.

Me: So I couldn't tell him they weren't my kids.

Kids' Mother: *bursts out laughing*

Store Guy: What?

Me: I did try. Can I go now?

Store Guy: Um. Yes. *goes to move away*

Kids' Mother: [To Store Guy] Oh, hey there, cowboy, you ain't remotely finished with this conversation.

Me: *hides behind the chocolate counter*