fuck it magritte worm candle painting
currently considering becoming a bother and a nuisance. maybe even a menace or rascal idk i haven’t made up my mind yet
*sees slugs on the sidewalk after it rained*
me:
The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
oh shit
"How to find the right glasses for your face shape", oh, bullshit. You pick ones you think a hot scientist in a bad horror movie would wear and then you just go do whatever.
[A very round brown seal sticks its small pink tongue out at the camera.]
I thought he was holding a penny
The absolutely magnificent and poignant work of artist Chris Austin.
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The absolutely magnificent and poignant work of artist Chris Austin.
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If we’ve ever talked, even just once, know that I consider you my enemy ❤️❤️❤️
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Showed my Geologist dad a picture of the obsidian knife you had and he nearly said this exact thing word for word. I can't believe my own father would fall prey to this. Clearly you know thine enemy
I work too closely with geologists not to have a contingency plan for eliminating them.
You have no contingency for geologists who know how to fight
All geologists know how to fight. They’re all buff and incredibly sexy from hiking and picking up big heavy rocks. That’s why my strategy to defeat them lies in trickery and deception and using their own fatal flaws against them. The obsidian knife is merely a lure to get them close to me... “check out cool rock” range is out of knife-range but within baseball bat range.
I haven’t published all my strategies, either. None of them involve actual combat on equal footing.
In anime:
In real life:
me, thinking of making a blobfish post:
Living in 3019.
[Yes, they’ve considered summer, and there are auto-open panels when it gets too hot.]
this is vital and important information
look at these absolute angels oh my Fuck
LOVE IS STORED ON THE FROG
- Classwork. Her name is Doris.
just me n the girls