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warped predilection

@fratboykate / fratboykate.tumblr.com

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Anonymous asked:

How many kids do Kate and Yelena have in BGAU?

I'm working on a longer one for early in the timeline but this came through and I figured I could do a quick and easy one for it. Here's 1.5k.

--

Kate’s on set when it happens.

They’re shooting a scene from her new miniseries. A character study, period piece, prestige all the way down. She’s seven months pregnant in this episode. The prosthetic bump is a thing of artistry: padded foam, silicone overlay, seamless at the hips, shaded perfectly to match her skin.

She hates it. It’s heavy. It itches. It makes her sweat in places she forgot existed.

But when Yelena sees her in it…really sees her…something shifts.

Yelena’s been on set a million times. She’s seen Kate in blood makeup, in harnesses, crawling through ash. She’s seen her bruised, broken, bulleted. Once even with a broken spine for a moody thriller no one remembers. None of it ever made her feel like this.

It’s not the bump. It’s the instinct.

#kate x yelena#bishova#bishlova#katelena#kate bishop#yelena belova#true story I wrote this as a baby upstairs is having a FUCKING MELTDOWN#the little fucker has been SCREECHING for like an hour#good thing they're too rich to live in an apartment or Yelena would've never gotten that yes lol#also the urge to be MEANNNNNNN at the end was really strong but I'm a different man now I kept the intrusive thoughts at bay#kybgau#kybgaup#answers#anonymous
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Anonymous asked:

Bro, the parents of this bunch of conservative prudes are the younger gen X, and even some of the elder millennials

are elder millenials even old enough to have teenagers? maybeeee i just don't understand how old elder millenials really are lol. i prefer to live in ignorant bliss because if any millennial is old enough to have a teen maybe my knees do have reason for complaining lol. i blame gen x for these absolute dogshit kids. hearing teachers talk about how they don't even have basic empathy or respect for anything im like WHO IS FUCKING RAISING YOU BARN ANIMALS

#all of this 'whoopings are abuse' bullshit#LOOK WHAT HAPPENED THE MOMENT YOU DECIDED SPANKING A KID WHEN THEY WERE BEING AWFUL WAS A SIN#every day I thank heavens I had Latino parents who knew what a belt was because I at least grew up to be a decent human being#apparently all that 'gentle parenting' is just raising unbearable assholes#rants#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

My back hurts from carrying this generation’s puritanical views and dragging them through the streets half alive.

the way i didn't think us millenials would be the only sane generation but it truly seems like we are. what do you mean zoomers are scared of sex and are conservative demons? what do you mean you grew up with the whole internet at your fingertips and you used it to become violent misogynists and trad wives? I'M SO CONFUSED. and then gen alpha is just...fully illiterate. LIKE........what did your parents do to you? what happened?

#I'm actually baffled and scared lol#rants#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

You: I love babies.

You: these kids are all awfully healthy and alive in these AUs. Sure would be a shame if one of the FB AU toddlers found Kate's coke and mistook it for crazy straws...

listen...wouldn't it be nice to spice it up a little with a funeral and lifelong emotional trauma? THATS ALL I'M SAYING

#kyfbau#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

Last time I checked FBau Bishova was divorced and Kate was doing drugs. And Stepmom au were also fighting heavily (happy ending pending). So we all good guys, everyone’s doing just fine in all the universes 😁

do you just want me to kill someone? y'all are lucky i haven't offed anyone in literal years. too many kids and wives floating around.......im sure someone can be spared.....

#like it's actually surprising that all those kids have made it this far#y'all should be thankful lol#kyfbau#kymau#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

as someone turning 34 this year, I feel your pain (both mentally and in my knees)

bro i sit down and my knees sound like goddamn machine guns going off TRA TRA TRA TRA like......ive never played a sport or done manual labor in my life what could you two POSSIBLY be complaining about?! dramatic for no goddamn reason

#rants#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

2007 anon AGAIN and my back is also fucked up somehow 😔 and istg I don't have puritanical views or however u write ts😭

YOU'RE NOT EVEN 18 HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE i would love for my 18 year old back again because 35 year old back is FUCKING USELESS fix it now its basically till brand new try to get it covered under warranty or something

#rants#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

Papi trust that if we’re on your tumblr that we’re not puritanical or conservative 🙏

Also wtf do you mean you’ve never babysat? My first job was babysitting at the ripe age of 12 years old?!

i have literally never babysat in my life. im an only child. never even had to look after siblings. i genuinely can't remember the last time i even held a baby/legit interacted with a child that wasn't like...smiling at a rando cute toddler on the street who smiled at me. id say i probably haven't made any sort of physical contact with a child in...over a decade??? probably. at least. if not more. none of my friends have kids. i don't really have family/the ones that do live abroad and i work from home so i don't have "coworker's kids" to interact with. there is no scenario in which id be around a child lol. WHICH IS A SHAME BECAUSE I LOVE BABIES

#rants#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

I hope FB Kate and Yelena are doing okay. I miss them but I’m also like super stoked to read BG. However the one I really miss is the one where Yelena is a lawyer and a stepmom to Kates daughter and how her ex is just a massive douche the entire time.

we miss stepmom in this house too. i got prompts for them last night just have to get around to it.

#kymau#anonymous#answers
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Anonymous asked:

Sadly my 24 year old knees do in fact crack papi. My back is also fucking dying

Besides, 24-35 isn’t that bad. That’s only 4 years more than the age gap between Kate and Yelena

the fuck did you do to your body that your knees are cracking at 24? you leave that to us thirty somethings

#rants#anonymous#answers
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