I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m
1. letting pedestrians know.
2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or
2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up
3. It makes it a habit
Yes! All excellent points!
Reblogs are welcomed for that sweet, sweet increased data pool (aka getting more than 20 responses 😅)
and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
shame is a reaction to crossing a perceived social boundary. is the boundary you believe you've crossed real? is it just?
if it's not, what do you need from your shame? if it is, how can you move forward while honoring that boundary in the future?
Similarly, the purpose of guilt is twofold: one, to make you realize that you have wronged someone so you can do something to try and make it up to them, or at least apologize for that wrong. Two, to keep you from doing that wrong again. So, if you’re feeling guilty, is it about some thing that you can fix/make/apologize for? Is it about some thing you can do differently in the future? If not, it may be time to let go of your guilt.
Oh, yeah, and sometimes that person you wronged…is YOU. The same considerations apply—can you make it better now that you’ve realized your wrong action? Can you do something differently in the future? Then let your guilt help you achieve that. If not, let it go.
and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
shame is a reaction to crossing a perceived social boundary. is the boundary you believe you've crossed real? is it just?
if it's not, what do you need from your shame? if it is, how can you move forward while honoring that boundary in the future?
Similarly, the purpose of guilt is twofold: one, to make you realize that you have wronged someone so you can do something to try and make it up to them, or at least apologize for that wrong. Two, to keep you from doing that wrong again. So, if you’re feeling guilty, is it about some thing that you can fix/make/apologize for? Is it about some thing you can do differently in the future? If not, it may be time to let go of your guilt.
My queers, we really need to put the "no men" thing away. Men are not inherently bad. There are queer men. There are questioning men. There's men that are just plain cool. Denying these men a space at our table is not helping - except the TERFs. I just came off the back of reading a transphobe gleeful rant about the need to have pride without men - They of course mean me. This kind of stuff is damaging to me and I really need us all to take a step back and maybe kill this "men dni, men not allowed" stuff. What you mean is "no men who are going to do mean stuff to me." And frankly those men won't give a shit about that kind of boundary.
But I promise you there's a fleet of good honest men who will see that and be sad they're not allowed in your version of queer spaces.
PATRIARCHY is what you hate. Dni Patriarchs.
The TERFs have gotten ahold of this post and are doing a lot to try and dehumanize me or send me death threats because of this. Some of those blogs were children or very close to it. I can't tell you how that horrifies me to see people caught up in a hate movement that obliterates self-examination so young. Those are precious days being stolen from those people. Being trans I know what it's like to lose that time and never get it back.
However it's important to recognise that there's clearly something in this message of tolerance that they don't want to get out, and foolishly by repeatedly reblogging versions of my post, they're actually raising the profile of the original message.
I'm quite weary of getting death threats, let's show them our compassion and unity will always overcome their isolation and hatred.
Reblog this post or any version of it that doesn't have the hateful messages attatched, spread the message further. If they didn't want to be a part of getting this message to see a wider audience then they shouldn't have started fucking with me.
Please reblog and fight fascism with me today!
The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes
and we need that! keeps us humble.
Then I'm just like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AN ADULT
It goes the other way, too, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A CHILD?!!
I'm 16, that's like, barely a child
I'm in my 30s. You are baby
I'm older than both of you in a trenchcoat.
honestly one of the best things we can do for ourselves is realize that people of different ages than us can still be the same kind of person as us. it's humbling and it gives everyone involved a sense of continuity, and it busts those stupid generational stereotypes media is so fond of.
I got the wonderful opportunity to see Labyrinth on the big screen last week (thank you Fathom Events) and I think this time around really helped me nail down one of the things that makes this movie so special to me: the ending message.
A story with a somewhat childish sixteen-year-old girl who immerses herself in magic and fantasy worlds who goes through a journey and a transformation and comes out the other side more mature could very easily have ended with the message of "Now that the adventure in the fantasy world is over, our heroine has grown and matured enough to leave magic and fantasy behind and become an Adult."
But Labyrinth doesn't do that.
Labyrinth says: "You might grow up a little. You might put away your costumes and your music box and your crown. You might give your teddy bear to your little brother. But that doesn't mean you have to leave it all behind. Every so often in your life, for no reason at all, you might need a little magic back in your life. And your friends in the fantasy world will always be there for you."
"Should you need them."
(Thank you to @realityphobia for requesting this fic!)
“Is journalism a popular career for superheroes?” Ma wondered.
Clark’s super-speed came to a halt, on his knees in the freshly-composted field. “What?”
“Not every superhero can be a princess or a billionaire,” she said. “They’ve got to have day jobs, most of them.” She was sitting on a fence post made out of a thick log, nursing an enormous cup of coffee.
“Not all of them,” Pa said, dropping seeds into soil much slower than his son. “Some of them are aliens.”
Ma and Clark looked at each other.
“Alien aliens,” he clarified.
“Aliens still need groceries,” Ma said.
“Do they?” Pa asked.
“We do,” Clark confirmed.
“I didn’t mean you,” Pa said, but Clark made a noncommittal noise that passively indicated that his father did not get to decide when Clark did and did not count as an alien.
“Those Lanterns get paid, don’t they?” Pa asked.
“You sound very sure of yourself,” Clark said.
“It’s a job,” Pa said. “They’re space cops, answering to an alien government. I heard about it on YouTube.”
“You need to stop watching those videos,” Ma warned.
“The Lantern Corps doesn’t pay,” Clark said.
“Maybe not in Earth money,” Pa said.
“How’re they gonna spend it if it’s not Earth money?” Ma demanded.
“Let’s not have this conversation again,” Clark interrupted, before anyone could say anything about space capitalism.
“Just doesn’t seem right to have unpaid interns as space cops, is all,” Pa said. He turned his seed packet upside-down, but nothing else came out. Clark disappeared with a wake of wind and reappeared with another packet.
“It’s a volunteer position,” Clark said, handing the seeds off to his father, “just like Superman.”
“Superman doesn’t have a boss,” Pa said.
“I don’t think the Lanterns have bosses, necessarily.”
“They oughta unionize,” Pa said. Clark rubbed the bridge of his nose, leaving dirt smudged there.
“There’s gotta be a lot of private detectives in your line of work,” Ma said. “Right? I think that’s what I’d do, if I was being a superhero anyway.” She seemed a little wistful about it.
“I… there’s a couple,” Clark admitted, since it felt vague enough to be safe.
“Any Earth cops?” Pa wondered.
“Oh, that doesn’t seem ethical,” Ma said. “Cops dressing up and getting evidence without a warrant.”
“Ma, none of us have warrants,” Clark said.
“That’s different,” she said. “There aren’t cops, are there?”
“You know I can’t tell you about people’s identities,” Clark said.
Ma gasped. “There are!”
“I never said that.”
“You’d have said if there weren’t!”
“He’s not that kind of cop,” Clark said, giving up on secrecy. “He’s a forensic investigator and he keeps his jobs separate.”
“Hmm.” Ma narrowed her eyes suspiciously but didn’t press the issue.
“Bet there’s bloggers,” Pa said with a knowing nod. “They don’t have to wear pants.”
“I’m not clear on why you think that’s relevant.”
Pa tapped his temple, depositing celery seed into his hair. “Think about it.”
“I think you’ve got the right of it,” Ma said, and Pa looked vindicated. “Not for the right reasons,” she added, and Pa wilted. “That kinda thing’s gotta be more likely than holding down a nine-to-five when you’re fighting robots in long johns.”
“When you say it like that, it sounds like the robots are wearing long johns,” Clark pointed out.
“Do they not?” Ma asked.
“Which YouTubers are in the League?” Pa asked. “Any that I watch?”
“Pa.”
“Is it Leo? I bet it’s Leo.”
“I don’t know who that is.”
“You oughta set up a commune,” Ma decided. “Then you can all be heroes full time, instead of worrying about rent and such,” she said. “Use your powers to be self-sufficient and all.”
“Ma, that's—people can live at the Watchtower, if they want.” Clark felt that this was an important clarification. “No one wants to. It’s not close enough to anything, nothing delivers. Even if it wasn’t so isolated, I don’t think anyone would want to join a commune with each other. Didn’t you burn down your last commune?”
Pa snorted.
“Threatened to,” Ma said. “Not that they wouldn’t have deserved it if I had.”
“I don’t think you should be advocating communal living with your history, is all I’m saying,” Clark said.
“I’m a special case,” she said with a wrinkle of her nose.
“She doesn’t work well with others,” Pa said, leaning on the fence.
“I do, too!” she insisted, threatening to kick him with one of her boots but failing to reach.
“Donna,” Pa began.
“The hell with her, anyway,” Ma said before he could say anything else. “That doesn’t mean anything, no one worked well with Donna. Donna didn’t work. Just wanted to look like she was walking the walk, but when it was her turn to help with the corn, she was busy painting signs. It can’t all be painting signs!”
“Yeah, well,” Pa began.
“It’s still a good idea,” Ma insisted. “Not every commune’s gonna have a Donna.”
“I think they do,” Pa sighed. “There’s always a Donna.”
“I don’t think Bruce is going to want to join the Justice Commune.”
“He’s a billionaire,” Ma said. “You can exclude the one billionaire.”
“Three.” Clark paused. “That I know of.”
Ma scowled over her coffee. “I’m nice about Bruce because I like him,” she warned, “but I don’t like you hanging out with that crowd.”
“At least one of those billionaires is a socialist.”
“Now that just doesn’t make any dang sense.”
“He might be the Donna, actually.” Clark checked his phone. “I need to get home and shower before work.” He swept his parents up in a hug. “Want me to swing by over lunch?”
“We’ve got it handled,” Pa assured him.
“Text me if you need anything,” Clark said, lifting off the ground.
“Have fun at work,” Ma said with a wave, before he took off in earnest and disappeared into the sky. She reached over, and brushed celery seed out of Pa’s hair.
“I bet Leo’s the guy with the bow,” Pa said. “I know he didn’t say that, but I feel like it was implied.”
Friendly reminder that LGBTQ+, Queer, and LGBT+ are the preferred terms for the community (x).
Friendly reminder that Queer is approved by 72.9% of the people, and the groups who don’t prefer it’s use as an umbrella term are straight people, exclusionists, transmeds, truscums, sex-negative people, and sex work critical people (x).
Friendly reminder that aros and aces are excluded only 9.2% / 8.1% of the time respectively while being included 78.9% / 81.2% of the time (x)
Friendly reminder that exclusionists are in the minority and aro/ace people are included in the LGBTQ+ community by the people within the community.
Also, i checked out the survey the second claim sources a while back: this is not OP choosing the words truscum, exclusionist, etc. These are labels that the survey gave people the option to self-identify as. It’s self-proclaimed exclusionists who dont like the word queer, not random accusations
yeah that’s super important.
This one gets reblogged on main. The reclassification of ‘queer’ as an inexcusable slur is a recent development which stems in part from exclusionist rhetoric. We reclaimed it decades ago. Learn our history. You are not immune to TERF propaganda, but you can absolutely choose to educate yourself to spite it.
Be kind. 💜
“friend of Dorothy” was used to say you were gay discreetly for fucking years. Where did it come from?
“You have some queer friends, Dorothy”, and she replies, “The queerness doesn’t matter, so long as they’re friends.”
Like, it was popular enough for it to be a thing in ww2.
i hate when the teacher’s like “write about a bad time in your life” like i ain’t tryna get a social worker up my ass, thanks tho fam
This ain’t no joke I had to write a essay about what your scared of so I did it (I was scared of growing up and where my life was going) it was great got a 100 but then I got sent to councilors office and was sent to therapy cause they thought I was suicidal and on the verge of breaking…Apparently they ment like spiders or some shit…
Also like, not everyone finds that at all useful or cathartic.
“Write about some difficulty you’ve experienced personally.” “Aight fam let me just break down into tears and skip the rest of my classes.”
Yes! I had a psych professor ask us to discuss outloud the hardest thing that ever happened to us literally two days ago and I said “you realize the position you’re putting us in? I feel obligated to lie to not only save my peers the awkwardness but also because I will find no relief in answering honestly but rather anxiety. The hardest thing in my life is having people repeatedly tell me I should find some sort of catharsis in reliving my trauma so someone else can feel pity for me!”
The whole class backed me up because they didn’t want to either! Those kind of exercises are only helpful for people who don’t have any real past/current issues– which is no one btw.
On par with this are those fucking self-assessments where they want to to be optimistic and positive about the future. You’re sitting there drowning in college stress and anxiety so bad you can’t look another human in the eye, fighting depression so that you can eventually achieve a piece of paper that might get you a better job if the economy doesn’t tank itself (guess what, it did), and the most optimistic thing you can think of is that the class ends in 20 minutes.
#why do they do this though ~ @inqorporeal
OH! I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS!
There’s a WIRED article that explains the history behind this practice.
Basically, this guy named Jeffrey Mitchell had a traumatic experience, then after months of PTSD, he told a confidant about the event that traumatized him. Retelling the event to a confidant was so cathartic for Mitchell that his PTSD went away after. He did a bunch of research to see if his personal experience of catharsis and relief could be replicated in other people suffering from PTSD. Years later he published a paper proposing a formalized psychiatric treatment revolving around this idea that expressing a traumatic experience helps relieve it. The paper was so influential that the whole psychiatric community adopted “critical incident stress debriefing” (CISD) as a standard treatment for PTSD.
Unfortunately … it’s bullshit.
Not only does the CISD treatment program Mitchell came up with not help the majority of patients who try it, but it actually makes PTSD worse in the majority of patients who try it.
The WIRED article explains why:
CISD misapprehends how memory works…. Once a memory is formed, we assume that it will stay the same. This, in fact, is why we trust our recollections. They feel like indelible portraits of the past.
None of this is true. In the past decade, scientists have come to realize that our memories are not inert packets of data and they don’t remain constant.
…the very act of remembering changes the memory itself. New research is showing that every time we recall an event, the structure of that memory in the brain is altered in light of the present moment, warped by our current feelings and knowledge.
Basically, Mitchell waited until he had some emotional distance before trying to recall the memory, and he had full control of the situation. It was fully his decision. Nobody was pressuring him to talk about it. So he felt safe. Thinking about the memory from a place of safety allowed his brain to re-contextualize the memory as harmless.
Conversely, pressuring a patient to recall a traumatic memory, particularly when it’s still fresh in their minds, makes the patient feel very unsafe. Recalling a bad memory in this unsafe context only serves to re-traumatize the patient.
basically, there’s a big damn difference between choosing to confide in someone you trust and being pressured to make a public spectacle of your trauma
THIS JUST IN: Forced Public Recalling of Trauma Not As Helpful As Voluntarily Processing Trauma In A Safe Space
pls reblog for sample size etc
I make occasional useless polls :)
Okay it only occurred to me after the fact that I should’ve broken this down a little further so…
Tattoo done by Miryam Lumpini.
This is the first time I’ve seen color tattoos on dark skin that actually look vibrant and pigmented!!!!!
Once I was talking to a dark skinned lady who told me that she was jealous of my pasty skin because she wants color tattoos, which her artist said wasn’t possible with her skin tone. I sent her to mine, and he proceeded to go off about how dark skin accepts greens, yellows, and white beautifully, and that her previous artist just lacked the skills to use those 3 colors as highlights to make other colors pop more. If you are dark skinned and your tattoo artist says you can’t have bright colors, find a new one.
Re-blogged again for that added text!!!
Propaganda...
almost 29,000 votes and it's 50/50, wild
As Olaf non-canonically* said: we're all winners, and all losers!
(In the lego series)
In Round Three we were seeing double as 6 out of our 8 pairs were put against their alternative selves and we asked why not pit two bad bitches against each other ?
In the only match-up where the newer version won out we lost another one of our tournament's Mr Knightleys as you declared that riding through rain, willing to ride through worse was not enough to win your hearts - instead he must have a proper understanding of muslin! And so Mr Tilney (2007) became our first Quarter-finalist.
Mr Knightley (1996) was not alone in taking his leave of us as your votes decided that Johnny Flynn's Mr Knightley (2020) was too blonde badly done compared to Mr Knightley (2009) and must go!
Mr Elliot (2022) will be likely soon spotted in town with a Mrs Clay on his arm as though he may have proved himself the hottest of the Persuasion (2022) men he was no match for Colonel Brandon (1995). Joining him in bad-boy exile is Willoughby (2008) who could not beat the man best known as Emma Thompson's husband leaving Willoughby (1995) as the last libertine standing.
In another win for Sense and Sensibility (1995) Edward Ferrars (1995) proved that while a Wet Shirt scene written by Andrew Davies might have worked once, Dan Stevens chopping wood in the rain was too blonde not enough to prevail against Hugh Grant and the power of being married to Emma Thompson in any universe, real or imagined.
Captain Wentworth (1995) also sailed through against his 2007 counterpart as the voters told us once again that they hated blonde men if it was made in '95 that man was staying alive for another round and so Captain Wentworth (2007) becomes only a gallant Captain Wentworth, in a small paragraph at one corner of the newspapers.
In one of our tightest run polls that went back and forth several times it was Bingley Vs Bingley but in another win for the '95 contingent - the curly hair clinched it and Mr Bingley (1995) proved the victor.
And of course I must end with the biggest poll of the week, breaching the walls of our little tournament to be voted on by 28,987 tumblr users, the poll that ended in a most well deserved 50/50 split, Mr Darcy Vs Mr Darcy. How could anyone vote for THAT Mr Darcy you yelled at each other - HAND FLEX! WET SHIRT! you cried! But when push came to shove despite 14,484 of you declaring that you loved him most ardently 14,503 of you had decided he was the last man on earth who you could ever be prevailed upon to marry and left that wet cat out in the rain. And so, though we offer him a most cordial curtsey we must say goodbye to a very worthy loser Mr Darcy (2005).
Thank you for all the excellent propaganda sent in - I will be taking a days break before putting up the Quarter-final polls, giving you until Thursday to send in any propaganda you want included on the main poll posts and me time to add it! But for now we must once again say...
Farewell Gentlemen!
How much tenderness...
This counts as science
well there was a conclusion, a list of ingredients, a research question, and the result evidence so yea that most definitely is science
and while he didn't write it down, he did make a record of it! So yes, that is science!
