Remember, if you haven't felt the first edible in 5-10 minutes eat two or three more

op tryna make bees come outta ppls bones

Thank you for appreciating my image cropping

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.

So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.

She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

Mad Scientist and the Head of HR ass dynamic

hell yeah

"rest in power" is for black people who have lost their lives to antiblack violence. we shouldnt have to keep saying this and you all shouldnt keep ignoring us.

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

@exteenpopstar

#love the implication that house is force sensitive and decided to become a dark side user for medical malpractice reasons (via @gravity-loves-me)

I’m HOWLING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

I just think it would be funny to switch things up and lead with "popular far-right online blogger, Joan Rowling" once in awhile.

"Joan Rowling, most famous for her staunch opposition to equal rights through her popular Twitter blog"

"Long time advocate against women's rights, Joan Rowling."

"Joan Rowling, a major contributor to the conservative party"

Semi-motivational quotes from Hayao Miyazaki

my partner just read out my fucking url as

they hoo like owls, as in im going "hoot hoot" like an owl

not

they who like owls, as a pun on the fact that i am a "they" who likes owls

HOW MANY OF YALL THINK IM HOOTING LIKE A GODDAMN OWL

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve followed you for years and years and it never occurred to me that it could be anything other than “they hoo(as in hoot) like (as in similarly to) owls”

How does it feel to be the most correct person to have ever drawn breath on planet earth?

I like the expression new-fangled. I don't know what it means for something to be fangled, but I sure as hell know it was recent

It’s from the Old English word feng, which can mean “to take”, or also “to grasp, hold, or embrace”. So something that’s newfangled is something that was taken up recently.

The reason it’s using this pretty archaic root is that it’s an older word than a lot of people think. Here it is in the Canterbury Tales.

Minutes after posting: "Why did I write archaic when I could have gone with old-fangled?"

Reblog to fangle this post

Absolutely living for Laios’ English VA

Coral Reef Textile Art // Evas Doodlings

Ghibli Food

the name "theresa" is so funny like. theres a what

de naam 'eris' is zo grappig. er is wat?

Navnet "erik" er så spøgst. Han er ik hvad?

Mi fa troppo ridere il nome "Donna", sì ho capito che sei una donna ma come ti chiami

Mae'r enwau "Beth" a "Pam" yn mor ddoniol. Pam beth? Beth pam?

Daily Mirror, England, January 23, 1923 Image © The British Library Board. All Rights Reserved.

I forget who originally said it, but there’s a quote about “Great science fiction isn’t predicting the automobile, it’s predicting the traffic jam”