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My blood, sweat, and tears, my last dance

@taehyungiemylove

Taehyung is my one true love! Check out my masterlist for stories about BTS!
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Masterlist

Updated: 1/3/17

MASTERLIST

B.A.P

     Zelo:           So Small           Naughty List (M)           Just Friends

     Youngjae:           Candy Cane

     Jongup:           Mistletoe

     Daehyun:           Daddy’s Girl           Walk in the Park

     Himchan:           Family First           Loser

     Yongguk:           The Life and Times of Tigger           Wait for Me           Tantrum

Block B

     Zico:           Ho Ho Hopefully           Tough Cookie           Great           Lost in Translation

     Taeil:           Study Date

     P.O:           A Few Years Later

BTS

     Jimin:           Nightmare (M)           Bad Day

     Jungkook:           Not All Bad

     Suga:           Cypher           Pillow Talk           The Last

     Jin:           Extra           Conflicted

     Rap Monster:           God of Destruction           Bubbles

     V:           Love Yourself

     J-Hope:           It’s Hard

EXO

     Chanyeol:           As Long As You Love Me (Wolf!AU)

     Chen:           Chasing Cars

     Xiumin:           Can’t Help It (M)           Blue

     Suho:           Work of Art

f(x)

     Amber:           Wake Me Up (M)

GOT7

     Jr.:           Cuddle           Caught

     JB:           Cliche           Earned It (M)           Heart of Gold           When I Wake Up (M)           Up a Tree

     Jackson:            You Got It            Move (M)            Kiss Me            Good Enough (M)            Romance Killed the Variety Star            Say You’ll Haunt Me

      Mark:           Move (M)           Good Morning (M)           Mine            When I’m At Home (M)

     Yugyeom:           It’s Gonna Be Me

iKON

     Bobby:           Babies           Choke (M)           Traffic (M)           Firsts (M)           Walk Away           Treat You Better (Part two of Walk Away)           Only You (part three of Walk Away)           Do It Again (M)           Manly           Out of the Woods

     B.I:           Just Watch (M)           Crush           Signs (M)

MONSTA X

     Wonho:           Occupied (M)

     Jooheon:           Happy (M)           I Must Be Dreaming          Night Changes          Scared Half to Death

     Shownu:           OTP           Highway to Hell (M)

     Kihyun:           War

     I.M:           Hero           Mastermind           Blackout (M)

NCT

     Ten:           Live and Learn

NU’EST

     Ren:           Hot Chocolate

SEVENTEEN

     Wonwoo:           I Love It           Adore You

     Hansol:           Can’t Wait

     Jeonghan:           Pretty Boy           View (M)           Closer (M)

     Joshua:           Everything I Didn’t Say

     Hoshi:           Shower (M)

     S.Coups:           Ride (M)           Night Changes           Experience (M)           Closer (M)

     Woozi:           Have A Ball

SHINee

     Minho:           Mornings

     Taemin:           Show Me

SOLO

     CL:           Accident           Something to Talk About (M)

     Giriboy:           Traditions (M)           Bed Peace           Cheater, Cheater           Hair           Let It Go           First Date           Something New (M)           A Better Reality            Pretty Enough           Okey-Dokey           Feature           Up All Night

     Gray:           Short Fuse           Disaster           Frustrated (M)           Freddy

     Gwangmin:           Just Roommates (M)

     Hoody:           Sing (M)           Not Over Yet           All Yours

     Jay Park:           Right Idea           Those Meddling Rappers! And That Meddling Gray, Too! (M)           One and Only? (M)           Sounds Good, Feels Good (M)           I Need You (M)           Drunk           Haven’t Been Caught Yet (M)           More Than Song Joong Ki?           Often (M)           I Know (M)           Argument (M)           What You Came For (M)           Closer           Can’t Win ‘Em All

     Loco:            Good Night            For You            Greater Good            Talking Body            Thin Walls (M)             Serious

     Mad Clown:             Mad About You

     Mino:           Old          One Ring          Sundays (M)          Love Song          I’m Not Him (M)          Missing You

     Sik-K:           Daddy (M)           Want You to Want Me           Take Me Home           Are We?

     Simon D:           Fake It           Done (M)           Tattoo           Under the Table (M)           Good Girls (M)           Surprise           Nice Guys Finish Last           Talk Dirty to Me (M)           Positive           Oral Fixation (M)           Small Things           Camping (M)           I Don’t Dance           This is Halloween

     Ugly Duck:           Never Judge a Duck By Its Feathers           When I Wake Up

      Zion. T:            Mad as Rabbits

SERIES

     One and Only? (Jay Park + Simon D | RATED M) *Finished            1. Those Meddling Rappers! And That Meddling Gray, Too! (M)            2. One and Only? (M)            3. Just Breathe            4. I Need You (M)            5. Fly            6. Press Your Number            7. Say You’ll Mean It            8. Dark Blue (Epilogue)

     House of Cards (Suga | RATED M) *HIATUS           1. Prologue           2. Chapter One

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 10 things i love about you (that i wish i didn’t) ♡

➸ [ a personal dissection discussing, why the hell exactly, do i love u so much, kim jiwon? ]

 1. i can never stay mad at you

(you’ll appear in my dreams with that stupid pretty bunny smile of yours and those sparkling eyes and how could i stay mad at you? i just can’t. i’ve tried jiwon, but i can’t stop loving you. you are undeniable.)

 2. you pour all of your love into the ones that matter most

(because love is precious but what we tend to forget sometimes is that love is not effortless. it requires energy and deep care and time and sacrifice. when our love is poured into the wrong hands, we can end up getting hurt. and yet i think that maybe…u have it all figured out. well…not completely but i know that the love you give is genuine and true and thus overflows with a purity that is almost healing. to your family and to your fans and to your members (which you have difficulty expressing, i know, jiwon, i know), your love for them is seen in the tiny and grand gestures and through the kind (well….subtly kind because i know how you hate being explicitly cheesy. you might even hate these words i’m saying right now) words that make up the full image of well… your heart,i feel loved when i look at you and that’s the only answer i need. i love you… and you love me too (tho i sometimes forget. i’m sorry). 

3. your laugh is so dumb (but it makes me laugh too)

you have the world’s dumbest laugh. it’s high pitched and noisy and cracks at awkward tones and it’s raspy and grates on your ears and sometimes… you even sound like you are choking. your laugh is the one of a dehydrated zebra & yet… i love it with all of my heart and would never have it any other way. i love your dumb laugh, even though it’s not necessarily… sonically pleasant. so maybe it’s not the cheerful twinkling of bells like donghyuk’s, or owns the wholesome depth of yunhyeong’s (you are lucky you aren’t stuck with junhoe’s tho…), it’s yours and it spills from your pretty lips everytime you are happy. the sound of your happiness is so precious that i could listen to it forever (i hope i can make u laugh one day). 

4. you never stop smiling (it’s okay not to, baby)

you are quiet and shy (i’m sorry you get pushed in the spotlight all the time. i know you are tired.) and yet you could never hide that vibrant, carefree, bunny-toothed smile that (let’s face it) all the stars in the sky envy. the quirk of your cheeks and that glittering eye smile are such a precious, beautiful sight. your smile is soulmates with mine; i smile whenever you do. how can i not, when your smile holds all of the beauty in the world? however, sometimes, i feel like you just can’t stop smiling; you smile even in the strangest of circumstances. why do you smile when you cry? or when you are angry or hurt? i’ve always found that a little strange and whereas i love your smile (to the moon and back) i’ve sometimes wondered, do you smile to hide what you are feeling inside? it’s okay not to smile, jiwon and i hope you remember that. it’s okay to feel emotions genuinely and to be upset. it’s okay, it’ll always be okay.

 5. your humanity lives within your flaws (and yet you are perfect in all that you are)

in another universe, i would hate you. i would despise you. i would roll my eyes and write essays about how much you aren’t worth it. you have flaws; many flaws actually and they are what make you human. when i was younger, i saw you through rose-coloured lenses that rendered you of any flaw; i thought you were the perfect prince charming from the fairytale books with a heart of gold that could do no wrong. i was wrong (as my young self was quite often), but i’m glad i was because putting you on a pedestal was unhealthy. it put u up to high, unrealistic, pressuring standards that you didn’t owe me to own up to. i feel like i understand you better now through discovering and acknowledging your flaws; you’re lazy, your ego is a few sizes too big, you’re inconsiderate and selfish at times, you take advantage of others, you get grumpy and annoyed easily, you can be ungrateful and unappreciative at times and sometimes you can be rude but that’s all okay. you have all of these flaws and they are what bring you down to earth and make you a human being, just like all the rest of us. i see myself in your flaws and i’m relieved that you aren’t the picture-perfect god i first fell in love with. it means you have room to improve and grow as a person; and that we can do that together. 

6. you’re a fool (but maybe i’m a fool for loving you)

younger me fell for your dorkiness, your foolishness, the short circuit of your mind that yet, held all kinds of fascinating information in it (it takes… a while to connect the dots but isn’t that the case for everyone?) and for that endearingly charming stupidity that made me laugh. i’m glad that out of all of the things i first fell in love with, this was the one thing that never changed. whether you are dorkily dancing while drinking water or walking through the wrong door, or rubbing your eyes with onion-soaked hands or singing loudly offkey in the car or putting sunglasses on just to eat indoors or misinterpreting photosynthesis… i love all of it (cause alllllllllll of meeeeeeeee loooooveeeesssss allllllllll of youuuuuuuuuuu!) your foolishness is the root of your inner youth and i love that you can express yourself freely and genuinely and be your true dorky, stupid, foolish, childish self amidst the busy chaos of your life. it’s easy to lose yourself in the industry u work in but i hope u always stay true to your foolish youth and hold on to every precious memory you make. you never got to fully live out your childhood and i hope you take every opportunity now to enjoy what life has to offer you and the happy, youthful feelings that come with it. and don’t worry jiwon, you may seem stupid… all the time, but you are actually very very intelligent and hold the whole world in your head. you are the smartest fool i know and maybe loving you so much makes me one too.

 7. you work so hard; i’ll admire you forever (please sleep tho; sometimes it’s not worth it)

i could write… essays on this topic but we don’t have much time (time is always ticking jiwon… everything is temporary. if only we had all the time in the world), so i’ll shorten it into a few words. you work so hard and sacrifice so much for your dreams and passions and as a result, your dedication and labour have been fruitful. from leaving your beloved family to train for years, to participating in two survival shows, to winning SMTM3, to debuting and working endlessly, your time and efforts have been poured into your many, many achievements (and at such a young age too)! however, the cost of your dreams is pricey and you have been rendered of freedom and relaxation and spending quality time with your family and many potential cherished memories. sometimes i wonder; is this all worth it? is your passion worth late nights, early mornings, sleepless days, lost time you can never get back, limits on how to live your life, broken bodies, the eyes of the world watching you every second? and surprisingly… my answer is always yes. because i see you on that stage and how you shine and smile and thrive, surrounding yourself in your passion and drowning in the genuine love of your art. you belong on that stage and i can see that you love being up there more than anything, even if it does come with a hefty price. of course, i hate that you have to make so many sacrifices just to appease others (the world can be an ugly place) but who am i to tell u what is and isn’t worth it? that being said…you need to breathe. you need days where you could drink alcohol with your friends and hang out at the lighthouse or go to the PC. and you deserve love…. oh how much u deserve to fall in love freely and happily and wholeheartedly. i wish i could give you these things… but i can’t. what i can give u is my love and support and encouraging words to cheer you on. cause, believe it or not, you do the same for me. i watch u work hard and it inspires me to work hard too. you are one of the main sources of my motivation and i thank you for playing that important role in my life (but please sleep tho okay? dream big, dream well, dream with your heart).

 8. you were there when i needed u (u don’t know this but my heart is still full from where you filled in the empty gaps. thank you.)

you came into my life (something brought you here, kim jiwon. call what you will… fate… destiny. a horse) at a really… weird time. i was overwhelmed with everything; i moved to a new school, had to adjust to new settings and people and got my first job. it was a particularly stressful time when u came around; exams were right around the corner and i was failing miserably at work. it was a cold january… one of the coldest i had ever experienced, and everyone had left the house, leaving me alone. i got stressed and cried a lot but my one shining ray of light was you. well… you and the other members of ikon but you especially. mix and match was completed at that time and i was watching all the episodes, watching the stories of 9 different boys unfold before my eyes and forming this deep connection with every single one of you. even now, “long time no see”, “sinosijak” and “climax” give me memories of those days (and the relief i felt listening to those songs). that feeling of trying and trying and never quite making it… it’s a bitter taste but i’m thankful that you were all there to tell me i wasn’t the only one struggling. however, out of everyone, it was you that made me smile most. your dorky antics and dumb laugh and bunny-toothed smile and kind heart… they were what helped lift me up during that particular time. you gave me happiness during a stressful, empty time. i felt alone and somehow you were there for me (was it fate? destiny? or maybe it really was just a horse, all along). 

 9. your pretty words ( they are just as pretty as you)

i feel that out of all of your qualities and talents and quirks that you have, your words are the most underrated of them all. yes, you have a banging body and a pretty face and a heart of gold but do we ever really shed light on the deep, introspective thoughts and feelings and phrases that roam your mind? you are a songwriter; it’s no surprise your lyrics originate from the depth of your emotions and the desires and wishes that fill your heart. that’s why they are so genuine and pretty and why they ring so much truth. they are the feelings of a real person with a heart that beats countless emotions; sadness, happiness, wistfulness, anger, love. your true self is embedded within your lyrics and as a writer (am i qualified to call myself that? idk), i appreciate that with my whole heart. expressing your emotions through words is a raw, vulnerable and even emotionally taxing experience; your mind and heart are exposed to the world. when i listen to your songs, i am constantly reminded that your outer beauty reflects the beauty within… you are pure beauty in all that you are.

10. i love u

endlessly. 

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taexual

Mornings / Bobby x Reader

I don’t write about iKon but it’s a very special occasion today… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE HALF OF THE INCREDIBLE @noona-clock , ADMIN B! i hope you have a fantastic day today and hopefully this will make you smile! much love to you!!!

Pairing: Bobby x Reader (made for Becky, but anyone can read)

Warnings: some sexual themes, but other than that, FLUFF

Words: 2.2k

You and Jiwon were dating for a while now, and yet every morning with him felt like magic. You were sure you’d never get enough of this domestic idyll that seemed to make you fall more and more in love with him.

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