If you don’t like rice then idk man get well soon I guess

all the bitches in the notes saying that rice sucks need to remember that rice backwards is ecir which means absolutely nothing. just like their opinion

THE WORLD BEGINS WITH YOU!!!! BITCH

Does anyone want to hear how I ended up using soap made of my betrothed's exes breast milk?

Like most stories it's actually less funny than the stinger makes it sound, but I did just remember it lately and think huh, that's strange, I guess?

So my betrothed's exes are now married to each other. This story is about North. She and her husband have a baby together. These people are family to us, so that little girl is our niece and we love the shit out of her. Her name is Zelda.

When she was born it turned out Zelda would not, under any circumstances, drink milk that had been pumped. It was really weird, she'd nurse just fine but when offered bottles she'd just cry and cry.

North pumped religiously trying to find some method of actually using this excess milk, but Zelda remained adamant. North researched the phenomena after months of trying, and pumping, and stockpiling, and freezing. Some breast milk apparently has enzymes that turn it sour on contact with air? Or some variety of: the second the milk hit the air it became disgusting.

So then North had a freezer full of breast milk the baby wouldn't drink. I think even after finding out that her milk couldn't be consumed she had to keep pumping cause a baby only drinks so much. She didn't want to waste all the milk, but the baby was no help at all. She did what any reasonable person would do, and googled ways to dispose of excess breast milk. There's co-ops for breast milk, but no baby was gonna want her milk, as Zelda had proved.

That's when things got. A little less mainstream. Some people suggested making cheese from it. That's a real thing. Breast milk cheese. But again, North was pretty sure her milk would not taste very good, so she dove deeper.

Her husband did regularly drink kefir, and he wasn’t afraid of stinky milk so he decided to try to make kefir out of it. But breast milk is a fucking beast, and it was so antimicrobial that it killed all his bacteria. He attempted to boil it and break down the proteins and not only did it smell rank but it still killed his kefir.

What she eventually found was soap. It turns out that breast milk makes amazing soap, it has tons of good skin properties and doesn't go bad. More importantly no one would have to consume it.

But North had. A lot of milk. When faced with the prospect of waste milk or make soap, North grabbed soap making by the throat and made it her bitch. She bought molds, stocked up her essential oils, and went to work.

She made piles and piles of soap, because again, there was so much milk. At a certain point she goes, "Hey, do you guys want soap? One thing though, it's made of my breast milk."

And we did have a moment of like. Hm. That's weird, but is it? It's soap, it'll smell nice, it'll be good for our skin. Sure.

So then, being a lovely thoughtful person, she customized soaps for us with scents we specifically favored. It arrived in a massive box, all wrapped up and pretty, and we had to store them in the freezer until we were ready to use them cause they were a little melty by nature but man it was good soap. It smelled lovely, she got great scents into them.

They lasted us about a year and I was pretty bummed when they ran out.

I GOT PICTURES!! Look how fucking beautiful this soap is!

She’d never done this before but she just made this gorgeous artisanal quality soap.

For scope, here’s a PILE of the soap she made and this wasn’t even all of it.

BUT THE BEST PART! Is that they still have a ton of it and she’s gonna share more and I’m ecstatic.

Happy Mother’s Day, here’s my friends breast milk soap.

KIMETSU NO YAIBA: HASHIRA GEIKO-HEN (2024) episode 01 ✴ to defeat muzan kibutsuji created by gotouge koyoharu

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[x]

not now mom i’m wasting my life on a website the entire internet believes to be dead

REBLOG if you are old enough to remember what a VCR is.

Please tell me that there are other people who think that if the power of the tri force worked as intended that it would be such an epic party. I've been playing ToTK and reviewing other LoZ games (not all of them) but. Work with me for a moment ok I just need to get this idea out.

Please note that these are ramblings of a fanfiction writer and likely won't fit in at all with the lore. Let a girl Dream ok?? Loll

Imagine Ganon. Pride of the Gerudo, the first voe born in 100 years. Running away and becoming a thief. Blessed with the triforce of power, he didn't want responsibility. Palace life bored him horridly, he enjoys seeking out challenges and shoving them into the earth. This guy would pull a Lynel into a headlock for the fun of it and wrestle with him. Only pays attention when something that sounds chaotic gets brought up, or something that involves feats of strength or wit. Knows that he's blessed but ignores and hides it bc he doesn't want the recognition to go to the goddess. He wants it to go to him.

Imagine Link. Farm boy of humble beginnings and a slow life. Working hard and also hardly working. He enjoys watching the clouds and the stars and playing with the kids of the village. Has been pronounced as hero of the village countless times for his various acts of courage and heroism. Fighting off monsters and aiding the townsfolk. Completely oblivious to his blessing of courage from the goddess. He has a strong sense of what is right and wrong, although at times that conflicts with others. He also can be a bit competitive. Looked up to so much he can't find it in him to say no.

Imagine Zelda. Born of royal blood, aware from birth of her blessing of wisdom. The definition of responsibility and rule following, despite her own unending curiosity. Being told that as a princess blessed with wisdom she shouldn't yearn for knowledge the way she does, so she repressed it. This comes off as being both wise yet aloof.

Okay. Now imagine a great evil that ISNT Ganon becoming corrupted and taking over Hyrule. Perhaps some creature that has descended from above, kicked out by their own people and seeking to take over Hyrule so that the people can become sacrifices to make the evil stronger so they can exact revenge: Zelda manages to escape and runs into Link, revealing his piece of the triforce. Together they seek out the third piece, from an unlikely Ganon. He reluctantly joins them proclaiming himself the leader. Them being led by the sibling of the evil who descended to stop the evil from harming Hyrule.

And now, imagine the three of them being the worst/best influences to each other.

Link not knowing a lot of the diplomacy that happens and so just staying quiet while Ganon and Zelda argue. Ganon mocking Zelda as "the little princess" and Zelda looking down on him for abandoning his duties. Only for Ganon to help Zelda learn that she's allowed to complain and question, who cares? And Zelda realizing that she was kinda abused and kept in a cage during her father's rule- and even after that.

Ganon and Link constantly competing while Zelda watches both curiously and disdainfully- Ganon boasting about his power and looking down on Link for sucking up to people and playing the part as the hero. Only to learn that while power does earn him the respect he seeks, how he acts and who he really is is what gives the most respect. Humbling him.

Ganon lazying about while Zelda watches Link run himself down trying to juggle so many things and do so many quests for those around him, helping them as much as he can because even the smallest things are his duty. Zelda arguing with Link about it and Link being stubborn and not giving into that... only for Zelda to eventually show him that his kindness was totally being taken advantage of and that it's OKAY to stop and rest and to say no. Even healthy, really. Link learning to stand up for himself and slowly speaking more, despite still being afraid deep down about what will happen if he says "no".

LIKE??? HOW COOL OF A DYNAMIC IS THAT??!????? THEY'D WORK SO WELL TOGETHER AND HELP EACH OTHER SO MUCH. IM BEGGING PLEASE.

I forgot to post this here before 2023 ended 😓

they all deserved a happier ending methinks

i love boys in a car simulator

the first pic is a redraw of an in-game selfie! here's the original:

new contender for best community note of all time

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

No offense these are the funniest fucking tags