@abcsofadhd / abcsofadhd.tumblr.com
Hey Anon!
Before you ask a question, please check my Frequently Asked Questions and search my blog to see if I’ve answered it before!
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Also find me on twitter, youtube and on my site.
Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:
If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.
If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.
I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.
There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.
(Source: me on twitter)
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See, the funniest thing is that I actually have significantly more spoons than I did a handful of years ago. But because I only got diagnosed at 20, I have two decades of inattentive power saving habits.
I have that thing where we feel we can only do one thing at a time. The magical one thing that we will be interested in that will motivate us through it all.
And that thing where I subconsciously compare the spoons investment and ROI on investment and get put off of doing low ROI stuff.
Is it really true that 20% of people with ADHD have ASPD? Especially those with the combined type? That really scares me. I'm certain not ASPD as I've never manipulated or intentionally hurt anyone but thee have been times when I've found it hard to control my anger.
I don't quite know where you got the 20% figure from, and I couldn't find anything specific for ASPD.
I did find figure online saying that conduct disorder, which is apparantly a precursor to ASPD as children can't be diagnosed with ASPD, is highly correlated with ADHD, with 25 to 50% of children with CD also having ADHD.
And that half or so kids with CD growing up to have ASPD so perhaps the 20% value makes sense.
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ASPD shares a lot of common symptoms with ADHD like feeling bored, impulsivity, emotional issues and so on, so experiencing anger strongly doesn't necessarily means you have ASPD.
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And having ASPD doesn't automatically mean you are a bad person.
ASPD means you can struggle to relate to someone or struggle to understand/ empathize with others' emotions, which mixed with the impulsivity can lead to hurting others.
But having ASPD doesnt mean you will definitely go out and hurt others.
And hell, I'd say there's a lot more people who don't have ASPD and don't struggle relating to others, yet still hurt others.
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Guys, anything else to add?
Anyone with ASPD and ADHD feel comfortable sharing your experiences?
I've been on Tumblr in some capacity for nearly 15 years now so I've seen a lot of people called cringe for their harmless interests.
The sheer toxicity of the sentence hit me only after fully typing it out, oof.
I know I hid a lot of my interests to avoid being called cringe or weird. And they were just like, liking Yu-Gi-Oh and Pokémon as a teen.
Oh, and according to Dr Russell Barkley, the developmental lag is around 3 years (rule of thumb). This is naturally more pronounced when the ADHDer is a child/ teen.
(The screenshot is from my own twitter).
(source: me on twitter)
(source: me on twitter)
(Source: Me, on twitter)
(Source: Me, on twitter)
Hii, can you tell me how emotional dysregulation works in adults suffering from adhd? Ive seen its one of the symptoms of adhd and i wanted to know if mine's similar to those cause i have been feeling overwhelmed at minor things and have breakdowns whenever things don't go my way
Emotional regulation is an executive function.
Executive functioning skills aren't fully present at birth, they develop as we grow up. So children learn to manage their emotions from their care givers.
This isn't unique to ND folks; you can see how bad some NTs are at regulating their emotions.
The prefrontal cortex (in the front part of our brains) manages executive functions. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects the prefrontal cortex.
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As you said, getting overwhelmed easily and having breakdowns is a thing common with emotional dysregulation.
Basically, we can struggle to notice, understand and manage our emotions.
This can result in mood swings, getting overwhelmed, extreme outbursts, and so on.
We struggle to feel and deal. I found my emotions very painful, so I avoided them for years, as maladaptive coping. I didn't know how else to deal.
This would often result in me bursting into tears when my emotions overflowed.
Anger outbursts are common with ADHDers and unfortunately, so is suicidality.
i show almost every symptom of adhd, and i was so sure i had it, but my mom tells me she had me tested when i was 7 to see and “it was a negative”. i was so certain, but now i’m really discouraged and i feel like maybe i was just a lazy person all along. any advice?
Here's the thing..
The concept of laziness is bullshit. As a whole, but let me focus on adhders (pun unintended).
What is laziness? "Unwilling to do work".
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ADHDers (and other ND/ chronically ill folks) are often called lazy cause NTs see us as 'unwilling' to do work. A personal choice.
They are saying we don't care enough to do something.
But that's rarely the case.
Why would we not want to improve our lives? Who WANTS to struggle?
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The ADHD diagnosis process is bullshit, especially if you are afab. The diagnostic checklists focus on grades, and hyperactvity mostly.
Inattentive and internally hyperactive symptoms can be near identical to anxiety and depression. In fact, I was initially diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
And if you managed to do well in school, which ADHDers can do for a variety of reasons, well, you're kinda dismissed.
It took my sisters years to get a diagnosis. The only who took her seriously was a female psychiatrist. And mind, this was after years of counselling, and being on antidepressants and anti anxiety meds for years, and still struggling.
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So now back to the initial point.. is it laziness?
Well, you don't seem unwilling, but rather unable.
If you never cared enough to try, ie, unwilling, you wouldn't be feeling discouraged.
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Final point is this: if you relate to ADHD symptoms, you are obviously struggling.
Even if it's not ADHD, it doesn't mean it's nothing.
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Guys, anything else to add?
Hi, do you know if meds can help when it comes to kicking certain addictions? I’m currently unmedicated, but hopeful to start over the new year & im wondering if I can also be hopeful that it may help me at least get some control over my internet addiction?
ADHDers are more likely to face addiction issues than non ADHDers.
For example, ADHDers are much likelier to start smoking from a younger age and have harder time quitting.
Meds have been shown to help with this yes. I found it much easier to quit caffeine and nicotine when on meds.
Personally, it helped me manage my gaming and internet addiction.
Treatment can become more complicated if the ADHDer has co-occuring substance abuse issue.
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(I'm not a doctor though, people react to meds differently and meds are generally very complicated business, so best ask your doctor for direct info)
(source: me on twitter)
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Twitter doesn't leave much room for nuance but lemme add that the percentages don't necessarily matter hugely (on an individual basis I mean; the percentages are averaged from multiple sources).
The point of this thread was that we are frequently struggling due to more than just the ADHD.
And everyone's experiences and symptoms can be especially different.
(And if anyone if wondering about the autism statistic, I wasn't very clear.
The prevalence of ADHD is like 6% and autism is like 1%, so there's more ADHDers without autism than with.)
ADHD makes a lot of day to day tasks very difficult, including preparing and eating food yea.
First of all, we can struggle to realize we are feeling hungry. Used to happen to me a lot when younger.
Secondly, cooking can be very hard with executive dysfunction. Multiple steps and having to pay constant attention to the pots and pans can be hard.
And that's if you have the spoons for it.
Thirdly, we can get bored/ can be sensitive to specific tastes and textures. This makes finding and eating food hard.
Fourthly, stimulants can suppress ones appetite, so it can be harder to eat when on meds. Its not uncommon to lose weight.
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When I moved out for uni, I lost like 15 kilos. I would eat a sandwich a day sometimes and for a 6 month stretch, I hate a loaf of garlic bread for dinner.
It took me a while to get into the swings of this. I found that I really love the taste of chili so I learnt to make a big batch and have that for whatever meal.
I can have it with rice, pasta, in a wrap, etc etc.
And it's nice cause I look forward to eating it. Like I legitimately made a pot 2 days ago, and I keep wanting to eat cause I love the taste.
And to avoid getting bored, I change it up. Add different vegetables and stuff.
Here's my chili recipe. I wrote it for myself, so it's simple to follow.
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If anyone has any other tips, please share!
With me cooking with adhd i couldn't finsh it due to me doing sutff only in one spot and having spoons forks and knives everywhere so instead of spreading your food prep around the whole kitchen set up some desgined areas, like places you can chop up food, and where you'll mix and serve. And make sure those places are like places you know what to do what at without getting confused.
And make sure to be careful with plating food lol, cause i know with adhd its hard to eat food when they keep touching each other. And make stuff to YOUR liking, fuck everyone else atp. Cause i also know with adhd its hard eating something with the wrong texture or it smells wrong or dont feel right just in genereal so serisouly cook for yourself. It don't make you selfish its just imporant that you can eat your food without being frustraded and just not wanting to eat anymore and sleep.
And on that, eating anything is better than eating nothing.
So don't have spoons to make dinner? It's okay to eat some cereal.
Eat breakfast food for dinner and lunch, eat lunch food for breakfast and dinner and dinner food for lunch and breakfast.
All food rules are arbitrary.
The junk food you ate is healthier than the vegetables you had to throw out because preparing them took more spoons than you could muster. Eating is always better than not eating.
Don't do what you've been taught you should do if it doesn't result in you eating food. Do what works for you.
Precut veggies, canned goods, and frozen foods are your friend. Pay the ADHD tax up front.
So are things you can just grab and eat. Carrots, apples, bananas, granola bars, candy,... Don't limit yourself to common "grab and eat" things though. Do whatever you need.
It's ok if you need to buy food or bottled water outside of your home. No, it's not great for the environment, but you fainting because of dehydration isn't either.
Portable dishwashers exist. So do tiny freezers. They can be pricy though.
Learn how to cook with a microwave or rice cooker. It's fast and requires less work. Did you know you can even make cake in those things?
Got a sudden urge to cook? Cook way too much and freeze small portions of it. Boom: frozen dinners.
Set recurring dates to cook with friends. Either irl or over zoom. ADHD brains mirror pretty ok.
Make sure you can actually see your food. If you can't see it, it doesn't exist. Put your veggies in your fridge door or something. Get rid of cupboard doors. Get a fruit or snack bowl.
Make a list of basic meals and snacks for each time of day. Need to eat but brain won't let you think of something? Your list says cereal. Dinner time but out of dopamine? Your list says to grab a carrot, some cheese, and a slice of bread.
Got a pet? Feed them at the same times you're supposed to eat. They will not let you forget. Trust me. My daily medication alarm is three hungry rabbits.
(source: me, on twitter)
Ok, so information on this cause I really struggle to not give more context.
Routine allows me to avoid needing to plan repeatedly. Planning is more difficult cause of executive dysfunction, so having a routine allows me to side step the need for it.
However, my ADHD brain also like novelty. Sticking to routine can feel restrictive, and honestly, can be plain difficult.
So what I've found works best is a middle ground. Broad strokes to give me a general framework but nothing hyper specific that I feel like I'm forced to stick to.
Essentially, I have to feel like I'm in charge of the routine rather than the routine dictating what I'm doing.
Why would I stick to the routine? Cause I want to do the thing but planning on the fly is hard.
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For example, every morning I take my meds with some coffee (don't judge me). The meds makes my stomach rumble which makes me eat breakfast.
I have lunch around 2 and dinner around 7.
I don't have to stick to those times but it helps give a structure.
Without that routine, I could eat food at any time which has always ended up with me just not eating much.
